Breast Blog Ever

My Mother, My Hero.

2011-09-20T19:06:00.000-04:00

To those of you who have not already heard the news, it is with great sadness I must tell you that Joanne passed away early this morning.

For those of you able to attend, we will be having a memorial service for my Mom at Riverside Chapel in Waterford, MI located at 5630 Pontiac Lake Road. Visitation will begin at 1pm with service at 2pm. There will be a reception to follow at her beloved school, Riverside Elementary located at 5280 Farm Road in Waterford, MI.

Please join us in celebrating the amazing life of the most brave and inspiring woman I have ever known. In lieu of flowers, please send donations in Joanne's memory to:

Pink Ribbon Trailblazers
Patricia Nolf, Chair
831 Tonkawa Trail
Lake Orion, MI 48362
http://www.pinkribbontrailblazers.com/

Thank you for the continuos outpouring of love and support during this difficult time for our family. May she rest in peace.

Updates and random stuff

2011-06-04T08:11:00.013-04:00

I could not figure out how to add more text to the previous post so I just started a new one! :) I have now had my third round of the "new" chemo, and I've got to tell you that I feel GREAT! Well, definitely a lot better than when I was on my first chemo. I even have HAIR! Yeahhh!! I am going to be scanned on Wednesday, because no matter how great I feel...its all about what's going on INSIDE that counts. I won't get any results until the Monday after the scan...so keep those prayers coming!

As if I don't have enough on my plate, I am halfway through 2 college classes at the local community college to keep my teaching certificate current. Every five years teachers have to take classes in order to renew their certificates, and I never planned to wait until the last minute, but cancer kind of got in my way! So here I am...taking naps in the afternoons to make it through my night classes! lol The summer classes only run for 8 weeks, but they are 15 week classes crammed into half the amount of time!! I have been doing "homework" like CRAZY!!! (my students should be very proud of me...although I forgot to put my name on one assignment and almost did not get credit for it! And I am the one who has been yelling for years, "PUT YOUR NAME ON YOUR PAPER!!" lolol) I had my first mid term this past week and I am happy to report that I received 29 points out of 25!! Extra Credit DOES pay off! That would be one A+ for Mrs. Sheiman! :)

On the "daughter front" Jessica has been asked to stay with Harpo in Chicago, but she will have a different job when she returns to work in July. She will be working for the new "Rosie O'Donell Show" which will be taping in the studio that Oprah taped her show in. She will also continue to bake and sell our wonderful "Clearly Cookies" and has been freelancing and baking for a dessert truck in Chicago called "Sweet Ride. She made cookies that look exactly like the truck, and they sold out! You can check out the truck here!

www.dailycandy.com/chicago/article/95335/Sweet-Ride-Mobile-Bakery-Food-Trucks

Carly, daughter #2, out in L.A. has been asked back next season at the ELLEN Show...and she is very happy about that! (Mother is too...MORE Ellen T shirts and STUFF are once again in my future!)

Rachel is home for the summer and gainfully employed with TWO jobs!! She is working as a cashier in local grocery store on nights and weekends, and in two weeks will start her job as a day camp counselor. (she even gets to drive the van to pick up campers! scary! lol) It's been wonderful to have her home!

My left hand was cooperating this morning, so I jumped at the chance to blog a bit for all of you!

I am praying every day to return to school in the Fall, and with all of your continued prayers I know that it can happen!

Love to you all
xoxo
Joanne

P.S. Relay for Life is June 11 at Pierce Middle School! I will be there and would love to see anyone that can make it out there. You can check it out at the link below. Food, fun, and friendship...all proceeds go to the American Cancer Society! :) :) :)

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?pg=entry&fr_id=30449

Another Step Closer!

2011-06-04T07:53:00.014-04:00

Race for the Cure! Detroit May 2011...A wonderful day wirh 44,000 of my closest friiends! Of course the most important are right here with me! It was a beautiful day for the race, and quite warm! I forgot to wear sunscreen and was a tad bit "rosy" when we got home! Thank you so much to my family and friends that were there to support me!

Hello World :)

2011-05-10T10:20:00.015-04:00

I have not been lax in writing (well ok, maybe i have lol) but the truth is...my left hand does not cooperate on the keyboard, and I wind up doing everything one handed...which is a major pain!
But, I know that I have to keep you informed so you don't think the worst...DON'T THINK THE WORST! :)

I have now had two rounds of my new chemo, and what can i say...I feel pretty darn good! So I am praying that it is doing what it's supposed to be doing. (You may all pray for the same thing lol) The strangest thing though, my hair has begun to grow back..YES while on chemo! I talked to my doctor last week about it, and as we all know, every chemo is different, and this one doesn't seem to affect hair growth :) I have been happily leaving the house with a fuzzy head, and loving every minute of it. I decided that bald men don't get any stares, do the heck with everyone else, and let me be the one to "educate" people on (semi) bald ladies!

My arm has its ups and downs, which it will sadly always have, but I am learning to deal with my new "normal," and Steve has become my own personal lymphedema massage therapist, and he helps me every night. xox I am just thankful for warmer weather, because short sleeves are so much easier with a wrapped up arm. I do not have to wear X large baggy shirts, and have actually gone out looking like a real person and not a homeless bag lady!

I will be having another chemo treatment a week from Thursday and then more than likely, yet another PET scan. Let's hope there is nothing but good news at that time.

My daughter Rachel is on her way home from college, and is now officially a SENIOR! I am so glad to have her home for the summer! My sister is coming to visit in a couple of weeks as well.

She will be here for the "Race for the Cure" in Detroit, which I will be attending! Jessica and her boyfriend will be coming in from Chicago as well. I am inviting ALL OF MY FRIENDS to come and join us on our walk on MAY 21. If you are in the Detroit area, I would love to have you join us! All you need is to wear PINK and some comfortable shoes for the walk. If you would like to "officially" register, you can (and will get a cool t shirt!) at:

http://www.karmanos.org/detroitraceforthecure/index.asp

but it is not necessary to register. Bring your strollers with your little ones, your friends and family, or just bring YOU! Help join the thousands that will be in attendance to show your support for ENDING THIS HORRIBLE DISEASE!! Hope to see you there! You can email me (jlj914@gmail.com) and let me know if you would like to join us, and we can all meet at the race (which is a walk lol) or even car pool.

I will try hard to update more frequently...now that Rachel will be home...she can be my typist!

Love to all,
xox
Joanne

It's chemo day

2011-04-28T07:21:00.003-04:00

I'm getting ready to leave for camp chemo. "Activities" begin at 8 a.m. sharp! I also started a new oral chemo today that goes along with my infusion. I will be taking these pills every day (yes every day) while I'm on chemo. I need to pop FIVE of these little beauties one hour before I eat, so I was up at six to take the pills. Then I let the dogs out (pouring down rain...YUCK) took a shower, fed the dogs first, got dressed, then finally fed myself. I'm hoping there are no horrible side effects with these new pills. I am told that I should have a bottle of "Imodium" on hand, just in case. And you know what's associated with Imodium! (if you don't, feel free to google)

I've got my trusty Vera bag loaded with snacks and things to keep me occupied. Maybe I'll be lucky and just sleep through the whole thing.

Alrighty, off I go...I'll let you know how things went. (I typed this message before wrapping up the 'ol arm...which is why I haven't been on here as often. It's VERY hard to type with a "mummy arm."

Love to all of you reading this,
xox
Joanne

M.I.A. but now I'm back

2011-04-18T02:51:00.013-04:00

"Whew!" Feels like I've been MIA for quite some time, and I have so much to tell you. I guess I need to go backwards to fill you in and that will then allow me to bring you up to speed.

If you go back two weekends to the March Madness final game, I was thrilled to have Jessica drive in from Chicago, and Rachel drive up from Indy to spend the weekend with me. Yes, I tried to talk Rachel into staying in Indy for the "Big Game" but she told me that she would rather be home with her good 'ol mom! Both girls decided to come to home to cheer me up a bit after the results of my second PET scan showed that my current chemo treatments were not being as successful as hoped, and a new drug had been ordered. I would begin the new treatment the following week. Having two of my daughters home with me would give me the needed distraction to keep my spirits up while waiting for my new chemo and it's always a thrill for me when they are here. We just hung out, did a bit of shopping, and they cooked some yummy food. Jess left to go back to Chicago on Sunday, but Rachel was lucky enough to stay through Tuesday since the Butler campus had been given Monday and Tuesday off due to the March Madness Finals. Rach left Tuesday morning, I met my friend Peggy for lunch at Panera (where else) and then headed home. By the afternoon I wasn't feeling well not sure from what) and went to lay down for awhile
That little trip to my bed T uesday afternoon turned into five days of sickness and complete bed rest! By Tues. evening I felt a fever coming on, and my throat was beginning to hurt. I woke up Wednesday feeling TERRIBLE!! I confirmed with the trusty thermometer that I indeed, did, have a fever which went up and down all day, topping out at 101.something. My throat was by now KILLING ME and it hurt to even swallow water. Eating was out of the question. Steve stayed with me in the morning and went in late to work. I slept most of the time he was at work, and then he left early to come and check on me. Good thing too...I was kind of "out of it" by then.
He brought me some yummy "Ensure" (not) and a big bottle of Pedialyte. (another "yum") but with eating out of the question, I knew I needed to drink things that would have something to nourish my body! By now I was even more stressed because I thought that they would not give me my new chemo the next day (Thurs) because I was so sick. Steve called up there for me,
and was told to bring me in for an evaluation and they would see if chemo could be administered.
Usually fever and throat infections pre chemo treatments rule out actually GETTING your chemo.

The next morning, my friend Jan from school, showed up at 7:15 a.m. (now THAT is a friend!) to take me to chemo, also know full well they might not be able to give it to me. Once there, they checked my blood cell count, and by some miracle, it was high enough for me to receive my new chemo medications. Jan helped the time pass, we were there from 8:00 until 1:30...yes it seemed like forever and my throat was still really bothering me, and I told my nurse. She told me that tomorrow I needed to come back for a white blood cell booster shot, and at that time someone would look at my throat if it was still hurting. Jan and I stopped at Panera on the way home. I ordered soup, but was unable to even swallow soup. I just packed it up hoping that SOON I'd be able to eat it. I was going on my third day of not eating. I drank chicken broth and water to keep me going. On Friday,Steve took me up to get my "booster shot" and my throat was finally checked. I was told it was red and swollen, and given the Z pack.Steve drove me home and i went back to bed. In three and a half days I had not eaten anything, I had a fever and severly swollen throat, received a new chemo (with unknow side effects), had a shot to boost my white blood cell count, and given Z pack antibiotics. :( Needless to say, I spent two more days in bed. The chemo made me coma tired, an upset stomach, and a trip to the "bathroom" and new on the hit list of side effects, some weird sores down around my ankles on each foot.

By Sunday afternoon I began to feel slightly better and managed to eat a bit of solid food...encouraged long distance from my sister in Dallas. She even stayed on the phone with me to make sure I ate. I felt a bit better afer eating, and continued to eat small amounts of food the rest of the evening. Slowly each day I began to feel a bit better, and continued to eat small amounts over the days. I had my one week post chemo checkup and was told my throat was no longer swollen, but still a bit red. That was three days ago, and my throat is finally beginning to feel normal. UGHHHHH it was a terrible, no good, very bad week! I am so glad that is over!!!

Well, I'm going to go and try and go back to sleep now...I started this post at 3:00 a.m. (yup back to getting up in middle of the night...thanks chemo)

Hope all you had a better week than I did!!

xox
Joanne

I've finally come up for air!

2011-03-31T07:32:00.034-04:00

Oh my goodness! During the last week I have felt like I've been on a merry go round and I could not get off. Today I finally feel as if it's slowed down and I can catch my breath. A week ago Wednesday was my PET scan, two days later was the results of that scan. Then it was off to U of M on Monday (not a good day) and then back to the oncologist's office Tuesday morning to discuss what had happened at U of M the day before! At that meeting, Dr. K discussed my new plan for the drug changes, and later that same afternoon, I went to P.T! Yesterday, I met with a counselor for the very first time (it's ABOUT time, don't you think!) and I had to tell my entire story from beginning to end. That in itself is an epic seldom told, and would wear anyone out! By the time yesterday afternoon rolled around, I was exhausted, to say the least. And what did I do? Well, you know me....I made cookies for a dear friend at school who is leaving for maternity leave! Sometimes a girl just has to BAKE. Well, at least this girl does! It was tough going (one armed you know) and took a bit more time that usual, but it was a labor of love, and I was happy to do it.

When I woke up this morning, I said to myself, "What? Nowhere to go today?" It seems like I've been "running around" for an entire week. Oh wait...I HAVE!! I think I will take a day and RELAX, if I can remember what that's like! Because later today Jessica is driving in from Chicago, and Rahel is driving up from Indianapolis! They both said that they would just like to come home and visit for the weekend. If L.A. and Dallas was a drivable distance I know that Carly and my sis would be here too! (love you both) So I will have company this weekend, and I'm looking forward to it!

I know you are wondering what Dr. K. has in store for me next. New drugs have been ordered, and I'm waiting for a phone call today to tell me which day to come in next week (probably Monday or Tuesday) to start the new chemo. I will one new drug infused at camp chemo, and the other drug is in pill form. So I get to take that one at home! Somebody called me yesterday to confirm that the pills will be sent directly to my house (very convenient) and I will begin to take them starting the same day as my infusion. The pills must be taken every day. The new chemo will also be infused every three weeks, just like the last one. Everyone alert their respective prayer chains...let's pray that this drug not only works, but CONTINUES to work! That's the goal. I guess hats are just in my future for quite some time.

I'm also planning on going to Indianapolis in a few weekends to visit Rachel for Butler's parent weekend, AND to walk in the Indianapolis "Race For the Cure." I can't thing of one thing more important than a CURE for cancer. The Detroit "Race for the Cure" is coming up May 21, and I'm planning on being there too. Please mark that date on your calendar NOW, and save the date. Please join me, and thousands of others, while we walk to show our support to wipe out breast cancer. It is a very emotional day, and I would be HONORED to have all of you (in the area of course) walk with me. We will talk more about this in another post.

One of the most special times in recent years that I can remember is when I walked with my sister, Jessica, Carly, and Rachel in the Chicago "Race for the Cure." All of my female family, along with a city full of supporters, walking in unison as one giant pink ribbon which stretched out for miles and miles. It's really a sight to see, and you truly feel like a part of something much bigger than yourself. Not to mention that I could draw strength in knowing that I am not alone in this nightmare of a disease.

My daughter Jessica also phoned me last night. She told me that she has signed up to do the "THREE DAY WALK" in Chicago this year. I was very emotional when I talked to her, and am thrilled that she is going to do this for me. (I know that they sleep in tents during the walk!) My sister in Dallas has also been a top contributor in raising funds for Komen the last few years, and I am equally proud of HER efforts. Think about what you can do. Because together, we CAN move mountains. Sooner or later there IS going to be a CURE!!! Of course in my case, I'm praying for the "sooner!" :)

Let's end this post on a happy note...because I don't know about you, but flowers and chocolates ALWAYS make ME happy, especially after the crappy week that I've had. I was pulling into our driveway with Steve on Tuesday night, and I noticed there were FLOWERS sitting by our front door. Of course I was VERY excited! Steve carried them inside (it was a VERY large arrangement) and he unwrapped them for me. Of course, the first thing you think about when you receive flowers is, "Who are they from?" I was thrilled to read the card, and to see that they were from Bobby, my daughter Jessica's boyfriend! (that has such a nice ring to it...Jessica's boyfriend!) It is without doubt the most lovely bouquet that I have ever received. Number one,
the flowers were BEAUTIFUL! Number two, there was a DOG made out of flowers!! (and we all know how much I LOVE DOGS) Number three, there was a HUGE box of chocolates that came with the flowers!! (and I'm talking a big honkin box here) Now does this guy know the way to my heart or what?! I called him immediately (didn't even take off my coat) to thank him for such an amazing gift...but I will tell him again right here...Bobby, I just LOVE my flowers and chocolate, and I love you too! It was so sweet of you to send that to me, and it definitely put a smile on my face for the first time that week. I shared a few of the chocolates with Steve, and BOY ARE THEY GOOD! yummmmmmmmmmm I wish the flowers would last forever. Wait, they will, because I took a TON of pics! So here are a few, so the rest of you can enjoy them as well.

Don't look too closely...there were already pieces missing when I took this pic! :)

Love to all of you
xox
Joanne

U of M

2011-03-29T03:54:00.008-04:00

This is what I posted to facebook but wanted to give you a little more detail below

3:40 A.M. up and wide awake, so I wanted to tell all of you that the visit to U of M yesterday did not go as I had hoped and prayed. After an ultrasound which was compared to the one that I had in December, it seems that despite the chemo showing the cancer shrinking in the first three rounds, the next three rounds showed that it reversed and has begun to grow again :( This means that right now, surgery is not even in the picture. We are back to square one and need to change the chemo to find the right one that will send this %&@$ disease back down to a reasonable place and keep it from growing anymore!! I may have lost this round, but I am going to continue to fight the battle. I have had multiple calls recently and I am so sorry that if you are one of them and I have not returned your call. It has been a VERY tough week. I have no choice now but to fight like hell and that my friends is what I plan to do. Nobody said that life was easy...but I guess I didn't know how tough it could get. I love all of you and am thankful for your support as I continue down this uncertain road.

Stealing a line from one of my favorite children's book...It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day yesterday. Well, I should say that about the last 48 hours, because the lead up to the doctor visit wasn't exactly a picnic either. Nerves and the unknown just got to me on Sunday, and I had pretty much worked myself up to a place that I don't usually go to. So it was with a heavy heart, that Steve and I headed to U of M yesterday. The long and short of my day was that they performed an ultrasound to compare to the one that I had in December. It showed that the cancer had decreased in a few areas, but it sadly showed that there was new growth in another area, despite the initial success of the chemo that I have been taking. Because of the new growth, surgery is not in the picture for me currently. To say that I was saddened to hear this news would be an understatement. I just wanted to hear that it could be taken OUT! So, I will be switching to a different chemo that hopefully, miraculously, (feel free to insert your own word here) will WORK and make "it" stop growing, get smaller, and keep it under control. Then I can be re-evaluated at that time...but first I have to get there. On to the next battle. I am NOT giving up, that is not an option (did you hear me girls?!!) Yes, there were a LOT of tears yesterday, and talking with my daughters, sisters (that means you Mary), and mother was...well...you know how that went...no need to say anymore. And Steve, having to deal not only with me, but the news as well, was very hard on him as well. He tried to be strong for both of us, but in the end I was the one handing him the tissues on the drive home. But as I told each of them...I'll finish my personal pity party tonight, and tomorrow is a new day. Steve kept reminding me that there is also always hope. So that's what I'm holding onto dear friends...A new day and new hope.

The next round has begun. Bring it on.

xoxo to ALLLLLL OF YOU!!! You mean so much to me that I can't even put it into words.

Joanne

Two steps forward One step back

2011-03-25T16:37:00.014-04:00

I had my PET scan on Wednesday, and went to the oncologist's office today for the scan results. The "wait" period for results is always very emotional since the unknown is always fraught with "what ifs." As you can imagine, I was fairly emotional on the way to the office, and even more so IN the examination room. While there is no "horrible" news to report (thank goodness) I will tell you that the results fall into a good and not so good category. Let's of course start with the good news (trying to remain the eternal glass half full type of person that I am...most of the time) the good news being that the cancer has not moved and is still in the breast region where it has been, and remains. More good is that part of the tumor has continued to shrink since the last scan. :) Now, on to the not so good news...my tumor is not of the compact tumor type that we all think of when you hear about a "lump." Mine is more like the branches of a tree and has multiple branches. The branches that are near my biopsy site, and the actual hard growth that I felt back in October, is the part that is shrinking. The other side of my tumor which is under and to the left of my implant has shown a slight growth since the last scan :( Yes, it is all the same tumor. No, I do not know why only part of the tumor is responding to chemo. I asked the doctor that same question. He told me that there is a possibility that due to the "branches" under or near my implant, or due to scar tissue in that region, the chemo is not reaching that part of the tumor.
Apparently, chemo cannot be absorbed through scar tissue. I'm still a little fuzzy on all of this. I did ask him if my implant was removed, would that help? He told me that was a question to ask my surgeon at the U of M when I see her on Monday. He also told me that he would like to change my chemo drugs, which means continuing on chemotherapy :( No, I don't know now for how many more treatments either. I will see the surgeon on Monday, and see what her "plans" are for me. Then I will return to Dr. K. (oncologist) on Tuesday morning to discuss the surgeon's plan...which might be different.

I had no idea when this second diagnosis was given in October, how difficult it would be to travel down this road again. It has been tough, I won't lie to you. Some days it seems like my life will never be normal again. I try so hard to fight, and the thought of all of you is sometimes the thing that keeps me going. Recently I have been seeing the ads on TV for the 3 Day Breast Cancer walk, as well as hearing them on the radio. In the past (pre B.C.) I would see them and think, oh, that's really sad, and then honestly, not think too much more about it. Now it difficult to watch without tearing up. The part that means the most however, is when different individuals say, "So nobody's mother, wife, sister, or friend EVER has to go through this." Not a day goes by that I don't wish that somebody comes up with a cure because now I am one those mothers, wives, sisters, and friends that is going through it.

I will be back on Monday with the surgeon's recommendations. Hug the people that mean the most to you, let them know that you love them, don't sweat the small stuff, and don't take anything for granted.

Lots of Love,
Joanne

P.S. CeRae...you are a ray of sunshine in my life! My dear "cookie" friend, you put a smile on my face everytime you leave me a message...thanks for still being there!! xox

All quiet at home

2011-03-21T08:25:00.012-04:00

It is once again quiet on the home front. Carly left to go back to California on Saturday evening, and Rachel drove back to Indianapolis yesterday afternoon. (How about those Butler Bulldogs in game 2 against Pitt in NCAA basketball!!!! GO BULLDOGS!!) It was WONDERFUL to have them home for the week! We lounged around mostly, (always nice) ate well, and even took Rachel to Greektown Casino! (We LOVED the Wizard of Oz slot machine... she even won 30 bucks! Not bad for a newbie to the casino who just turned 21!) All in all, everyone left well rested and ready for the next two months. Rachel will finish her junior year the first week in May, and Carly will end Taping on her first season at the Ellen Show on May 26. My oldest, Jessica, is now busily job hunting, since Oprah will also be wrapping up (for GOOD) sometime in May as well.

On the B.C. front...I am scheduled for my PET scan this Wednesday morning at 8:45. I am SO thankful to have the test at that hour. You have to "fast" for 6 hours before the test (water only) and the test is administered in two parts. When you arrive they inject you with radioactive isotopes (yeah...doesn't sound very healthy to me either...Now I glow from the outside due to radiation therapy, AND the inside from all of the isotopes they have injected me with for multiple PET scans over the years) and then you have to wait for over an hour for the isotopes to circulate through your body. Then they call you back in to lie in the claustrophobic tunnel for about half an hour. Last time I had this scan it was at 4:30 in the afternoon. So that meant NO food or drink ALL day! By the time I was finished with the scan it was close to 8:00 p.m. and I was so hungry that I when I went home, I ate anything that wasn't nailed down. Hopefully this time will be better. I should be finished by noon.

It takes 24 hours for the scan to be "read" and that will bring us to Friday. UGH Doctors are not around on Friday afternoons I have found...so I probably will have to sweat it out all weekend for the results on Monday or Tuesday. I want them to take their time with this scan, as it will determine what is happening to me next. I really have NO idea what my next course of action will be...it's up to the scan. (just a "little" nerve racking) I will also be taking this scan to my surgeon at the University of Michigan to see what she wants to do as well. Sure is a LOT hanging on this scan. Which is why I was very happy to have Rachel and Carly home for the week, to take my mind off of what will be happening. I didn't really give it much thought for seven whole days. But, it's back to reality now, so let's all just keep praying that everything looks good on the scan, and the "options" will be good ones.

I will let you know as soon as I know anything...let the waiting game begin.

xox
Joanne

What a week!!!

2011-03-15T09:15:00.011-04:00

I am here and finally doing well enough to write this post. It's been a very loooooong week! I will back track to a week ago Monday and try to fill you in. It started with P.T. on Monday morning. My regular therapist, Marilyn, was still on vacation and I was seeing another therapist while she was out of town. The P.T. was good, but a "little bit" more intense than with Marilyn, however I did feel good when I left, and my shoulder and arm were feeling pretty darn good. The next morning was chemo (#6) and before I left for that appointment, I was not feeling that great, but off I went.
I began my infusions and after the first bag, I reallllly didn't feel good. I was just about to say something to my nurse, when she approached me first. She said, "Joanne, are you feeling alright?" (Later she told me that she looked over to check on me and noticed I did not look "good" (understatement) and I was not my usual perky self. Thank goodness these people know me, and could tell right away when something was not right!) I replied, "Actually, no, I am not." I told her I was light headed and extremely cold." She thought it best, (me too) to see the physician asst. Suzanne, and off I went, I.V. and all. My blood was rechecked and all seemed well, but she thought I could use some extra "fluid" and went back to my recliner to get the rest of my chemo, as well as intravenous fluids to hydrate me. I also told her about the P.T. that I had received the day before, and how it was quite a work out for me. She seemed to think that my muscles took quite a work out, and my body was telling me that it was too much. She gave me a RX for a muscle relaxer to give them a rest, and told me to stay in bed for the next 24 hours and just sleep. I went back to my recliner to receive the extra drip, which took an additional two hours. I slept through most of it, and when it was finished, I drove myself home...very slowly and went to bed. Bed is where I spent the better part of the next couple of days. I slept A LOT!
I'm not sure how that muscle relaxer works, but I was "out for the count" for an entire day after taking it. Over the next few days, I did start to feel better, but I canceled my P.T. for Friday morning thinking that it was not a good idea to do this all over again! By this past weekend, I began to feel better, but decided to really take it easy. I did not even take the dog pack out for a walk for five days! (They were getting cabin fever!) By Sunday, I felt good enough to venture outside for a walk, and it sure did make me feel better.

Today is Tuesday, a week from chemo and I do have my post chemo check up this afternoon with Suzanne. She will also make the appointment for my next PET scan (probably next week sometime) and hopefully a decision of some kind will be made for my next round of treatment...whatever that might be! I will let you all know as soon as I find out something.

Lucky for me, two of my three daughters are home for the week. Rachel has spring break from school, and Carly has "spring break" from the Ellen show! :) Jessica did have a week long break from Oprah two weeks ago, but LUCKY FOR HER...she spent her week off in PARADISE...Hawaii that is...with her boyfriend, Bobby!! I lived vicariously through her that week, and had wonderful pics of pineapple plantations, sea turtles, exquisite beaches, etc. and loved every minute of her trip!

I hope to have a MUCH better time THIS week than I did last week! Thanks for checking in with me, and sorry to keep you all in the dark and not posting something here sooner.

Have a terrific Tuesday!

xoxo,
Joanne

Is it March already?

2011-03-02T12:36:00.030-05:00

My my how time flies! (you didn't really think I was going to say, "When you're having fun?") In the past few weeks there have been some fun times, but to be honest, they are few and far between. I've been dealing with a lot of emotional stuff and it's not always easy. I spend quite a bit of time alone, and for somebody that is used to being around people all the time (at an elementary school it would extremely difficult to BE alone) it can get lonely. Lucky for me the dogs demand my attention, and I'm only too happy to give it to them. They are going to be VERY upset when I get well, and GO BACK TO WORK, because I AM going back.

The arm has had its own ups and downs. Some days it is GREAT, and I think, "Hooray! This is it! The beginning of it getting better!" But the next day, I come crashing down, along with the swelling, and wind up taking five showers that day to relieve some of the discomfort or pain. There is just no telling when or where the swelling will arrive, or go away. I may have to design a line of clothing with one arm bigger than the other so thatI can wear real clothes again. I'm really sick of wearing the same three over- sized baggy t shirts to fit over the mummy arm.

One of the best things to happen to me in the last couple of weeks is YOGA! My dear friend Jan persistently kept asking me to attend a yoga class with her. I really did want to go, but "life" just kept getting in the way. Finally, her persistence paid off, and we were both free last Thursday to attend a class together. To say it was amazing, would be an understatement. I can't tell you when I've enjoyed something more. By the time I left class I felt calm, peaceful, and totally stress free. (stress is usually my middle name) I felt so good after that class that I immediately thought that I'd like to come back. So I am...tomorrow! It is a basic yoga class, and the title of the class is "Yoga for Emotional Healing." I can take all of the emotional healing that is pointed in my direction, and I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks so much to Jan, for not only being my friend for so many years, but for not taking no for an answer, and for offering me something that will be life altering.

While I'm on the subject of thank yous, I have a few more to dish out. First of all, I need to thank someone I've never met! Her name is Layla, and she works at the Ellen Show out in sunny Los Angeles, with my daughter Carly. She is the manager of the "Ellen" gift shop. She gave Carly a beautiful scarf to give to me, and I was thrilled when I received it. Layla, how VERY thoughtful of you to think of me. I am deeply touched with your kindness and I will wear it proudly. The scarf is SUPER soft and very long...which is important when one has no hair and is trying to keep many body parts warm in a freezing Michigan winter. I will think of you when ever I wear it. Here I am in all of my glory! (Yule Brenner has nothing on me! Once again, if you don't know who he is...look him up and you'll understand the reference)
On to the next thank you. Yesterday another package arrived, this time from Texas! It was from Sheila, a friend of mine and my sister. (OK, my sister knew her first, but I can still call her friend too) This box contained a beautiful homemade polar fleece scarf, in two shades of pink! I just love it! Thank you SO very much Sheila. For not only thinking of me, but taking the time to make such a wonderful gift for me. It is warm and cuddly, and feels fabulous around my neck. It is just the thing to keep wrapped around my neck on these miserable March Michigan days, and it is going to be perfect to wear when I walk the dog pack. (which is mostly every day) I had a huge smile on my face when I tried it on, and if it weren't for the "hot flashes" I would be very happy to wear it around the house to keep toasty! I'm sending you a big Texas sized hug right now through the computer...and you know how big that is because everything is bigger in Texas! Take a look for yourself. Is this FUN OR WHAT!! It just makes you smile to look at it. Thanks Sheila! xoxo

Coming up on the horizon for me....Yoga tomorrow (yeah!), P.T. on Friday and Monday, followed by chemo #6 on Tuesday! Then I'll get "scanned" (again) shortly after that. Based on the scan results, I will let you know the next course of action. Let's pray for GREAT results!

Enjoy the upcoming weekend. I'm just hoping that it doesn't snow!

xox
Joanne

Hats Off To You...

2011-02-17T08:30:00.017-05:00

my friends Kathy and Anne! :) Yesterday afternoon I took the dog pack outside to do their business, and I noticed that there was a package sitting by my garage door. I promptly scooped it up, and a smile spread across my face! It was from an old (as in "dear" not ancient) high school friend that I've recently been back in contact with, thanks to the world of Facebook! I rounded up the pack and headed inside to open it. First, the card. It was without a doubt the cutest Get Well Card that I've ever seen. It's a little medicine cabinet over a sink. The medicine cabinet OPENED! I carefully looked over the contents inside the cabinet (no miracle hair restorer I noticed..oh well) and moved on to the inside. OK...I just HAVE to show it to you, it is that cute!

It is the best feeling in the world to know that friends, whether nearby or faraway (in this case) are thinking of you. You just get a warm feeling inside of you that grows and grows. That's exactly how I felt. Then, on to the gift! Well, in this case it turned out to be gifts...actually three beautiful hats to be exact! And as you know,t a girl in my position can never have TOO many hats! ;) It all depends on the day, the weather, your outfit. Do I need a hat for Walmart or for the Joffrey Ballet? (That HAS been a real situation...and heaven forbid you would show up at the Joffrey wearing a hat you wear to Wally World...see a girl's dilemma?) I repeat, a chemo girl can never have too many head covers. I stand by my old girl scout motto, "I am always prepared!" (Kathy and I were G.S. together in High School! Kathy, remember our trip to Canada and our wide plaid pants that were SO "in?" lol)

Anyway, without further ado (don't you just love that word) I present the newest in fashionable head attire for ME..I'll bet you can't guess which one I like best?! (Come on...everyone has a favorite!)

And remember...I had chemo 48 hours ago* so I know I'm not exactly ready for my close-up Mr. Demille. (If you don't know that phrase you are too young, and need to google it.) And yes, Frankie had to horn in on the action. We all know how needy he is.

*Treatment number five...so far so good...just the usual tiredness and the arm swelling seems to be slowly going down. (it can never happen quick enough for me) I'm off to P.T. this morning, which always makes my arm feel better though.

I hope all of you have a wonderful day...the weekend is right around the corner, so get out and enjoy! (I for one will be ridding the yard of dog "business" since the snow has melted. UGHHH

xox
Joanne

P.S. Renee and Sarah...when you get a chance, I'd love to have the pics you took when you came to visit me. There will be a Hats Off To You Part II on the blog! :)

P.S.S. I had a commenter named MARY who said that she had read my blog and it helped her on her B.C. journey...Mary, thanks SO much...I am here for you, as we are all here for each other on this bumpy road. Feel free to contact me anytime: jlj914@gmail.com I would love to hear from you. xo

48 hours and counting

2011-02-13T09:48:00.012-05:00

until chemo treatment number five. I know this will seem hard to believe, but I am actually looking forward to it. Crazy, I know! WHO looks forward to chemo? I do, because I'm finding that following my treatment, my arm feels pretty darn good and there is very little pain. It seems like the further I get away from my treatment (this darn third week to be specific) my arm starts giving me grief. (and that is a mild understatement) I must pause here to let my daughter Jessica know how much it meant to me to be on the other end of the phone while her teary eyed mom "lost it" while dealing with a painful arm. She happened to call while I was trying to "deal with it" (which wasn't exactly working very well for me) and it did cross my mind to ignore the call. But reality beckoned, and I did need the proverbial shoulder to cry on, and she magically phoned just as I needed it. It was fate, and I am not one to stand in the way of fate. XOXO Jess, is all I can say.

I have also finished reading the amazing book, "Aniti Cancer" by David Servan-Schrieber. I can't recommend this book enough, but I understand that sometimes it's hard to sit down and read a book in a reasonable amount of time. So, let me share a very condensed version of what he has to say with you. He has compiled a list of 20 Anti Cancer Rules, and as he says, they are "rules about what every person needs to know about how they can help avoid cancer - or slow it down if they have it." You can read the list here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-servanschreiber-md-phd/20-new-anticancer-rules_b_450166.html

The rules are mostly common sense. Things we have all known for years, but just don't seem to find the time or effort to make a priority. Maybe you might consider "easing" your way into some of them, others are really easy to incorporate into your daily life. I guess it all really boils down to you, and the changes that you feel will make your life better for you.

Have a sunny Sunday if you are lucky enough to live somewhere where there IS sun. The rest of us might consider standing near a light bulb and closing our eyes...it might just feel like the sun!

xox
Joanne

P.S. The bruises and scrapes are subsiding and don't look nearly as bad! :)

What's black and blue...

2011-02-08T15:43:00.003-05:00

and red all over? No, not the newspaper (you're old like me if that's the first thing that popped into your head) My leg. It looks worse than it is, but it is pretty bruised. I came home last night after dark. I let the dogs out (so what else is new) and on our way back inside I slipped on the icy driveway and down down I went. I instinctively protected my left arm, because heaven only knows what would happened if I added injury to that...and I landed on the right side of my body from my hip down to my leg, as you can plainly see. I do have to tell you that it was a bit of a "trick" hauling myself up (gimpy left arm, remember) so I kind of lay there for a few minutes, maneuvered myself carefully and pushed off with my right arm. Cubby just stood over me like I was crazy and it looked like she wanted to say, "What the heck are you doing down there?" The rest of the "pack" couldn't care less. lol I made it inside, took a hot shower, downed some advil, and went right to bed. Just a little sore today, so all in all not too bad. Yes, I will be more careful, you don't have to worry!

xox
Joanne

Everyone should read this book

2011-02-07T08:36:00.019-05:00

Anticancer A New Way of Life by David Servan-Schreiber

This book is written by a man that was diagnosed with brain cancer at age 31, he himself a scientist and doctor, and then faced cancer again in the same place a few years later. Sound familiar? I am 3/4 of the way through the book and cannot put it down, for obvious reasons. But, this book is for everyone. Those with cancer, those have had cancer, those that have loved ones and friends with cancer, and those who would like to know the best possible ways to help your own body AVOID getting cancer.

The author also tells you how with MINIMAL changes to your current diet you can create an atmosphere in your own bodies that will not allow cancer cells to flourish, or better yet, be given an opportunity to grow in the first place. He also provides, in detail, cancer fighting foods that area readily available to all of us, and everything is scientifically backed up with current research. Why would anyone not want to follow his advice?!! The book is truly an eye opener.

I am busily putting sticky notes throughout the book, and I know that I will be returning to read and re-read often. The few lines that I keep returning to again and again remind me that there are others who know how I feel, the author being one of them. Which is why, when I read the words below, written by Dr. Servan-Schrieber, I thought it would be "easiest" to steal his words to try and express my own feelings on dealing with all of this a second time. I hope he doesn't mind.

"Finding out you have cancer is a shock. You feel betrayed by life and by your own body. But finding out that you've had a relapse is crushing. It's as if you've suddenly discovered that the monster you thought you'd distanced was still there. It had gone on tracking you in the shadows and wound up catching you again."

Don't get me wrong. I'm not walking around on a daily basis with doom and gloom. On the contrary, this book has confirmed what you and I have already known...your psychological state can greatly influence the way your body deals with disease. There are studies that have shown a direct link between a person's mental state and the development of cancer. This gives new meaning to the phrase, "Don't Worry Be Happy."

Do yourself, your family, and your friends a favor, and read this book.

xox
Joanne

Hi Gang

2011-02-06T08:58:00.022-05:00

and a Happy Superbowl Day to you! I'm hardly what you would call a "football fan," in fact, I'm not a fan at all. But I know some of you are going to be watching the big game today and attending parties...so have a wonderful time! I will probably be switching back and forth from the FOOD CHANNEL just to check in on the Superbowl commercials. If I am lucky, there will be a marathon of baking shows. So much for my interest in the game.

I haven't blogged for about a week, so I thought I had better check in. Things have been going fairly well and that is a good thing. I've only had a few "bad" days and I just deal with them as they come. It's usually for a short amount of time that I feel lousy, and I just let it run its course . (so if you call me and I don't answer...I'm not avoiding you..I'm just "sleeping it off.")

I'm continuing to receive physical therapy about twice a week for my arm and shoulder. It is helping tremendously! Marilyn, my physical therapist is just wonderful, and when I don't see her, I'm at home trying my best to do my exercises. My left arm is not as swollen anymore thanks to the miracle of drugs! (Repeat after me, "CHEMO IS A VERY GOOD THING!" However, my arm is extremely weak and I am also doing strengthening exercises with Marilyn.
Last week I actually hit myself in the nose. (nooo not on purpose!) Ok, picture this...Me, on my back on the. P.T. table. Marilyn standing to my left, holding my left arm up at a 90 degree angle.
(any of my students that are reading this...you KNOW what that angle looks like because I taught it to you) She is supporting my arm somewhere between my shoulder and elbow (not really sure because I don't have much feeling up there) with one hand and her other hand is holding the lower part of my arm near the wrist. She let go of my wrist and asked me to "hold it." I did. For about five seconds. Before either of us knew it, my lower arm flopped over like a dead fish and it landed right on my nose! OUCH! (lol I told you it was weak) Both of us were so surprised and we burst out laughing. There's not much humor in physical therapy, but this definitely qualified as humorous. (I might not have called it funny if I had given myself a bloody nose...yeah..I probably would still be laughing) Anyway, you now see the need for strengthening my lower arm. I'm sure you're asking yourself about now why it is weak. Well, let's just use the old "domino effect" theory because that's what it is. The cancer cause enlarged lymph nodes, the lymph nodes that I have left were working over time to handle lymph fluid movement, they couldn't handle it anymore so lymph fluid didn't move, hence swelling in arm from fluid, fluid build up affects muscles and surrounding tissue, affected muscle movement causes your arm to flop like a dead fish and you nearly give yourself a bloody nose. Get the picture? Honestly, it IS getting better little by little, and I am working hard to get back to normal. I have a feeling however, that my old "normal" is not going to be my "new" normal, but that's ok. There are worse things to have than a gimpy arm, as we all know.

On the horizon for me will be chemo #5, one week from this Tuesday, # 6, three weeks after that, followed by another scan. But, let's not get too ahead of ourselves. I also want to tell you about a new B.C. support group that I've been attending, but that will have to be for another post. I've also been reading (so what else is new) a FABULOUS book called Anticancer that is a real eye opener, and one I think that everyone should read. I'll tell you more about that as well.

So have a SUPER Superbowl day, and as always, thanks for checking in on me! :)

xox
Joanne

Day 3 after chemo...

2011-01-29T08:00:00.003-05:00

rolls in like "clockwork." The fog started to swirl yesterday morning, and I was very tired. I think I slept most of the day, and even crashed right through the night! I was actually awake for some parts of the day, but not much! lol I slept straight through from 8:00 p.m. until 6:30 this morning.
Feeling pretty wide awake now! :)

Also awoke to SNOW...UGH...even the dogs didn't want to go outside (me either) but out we went, and I put the coffee on. Looks like it will be an inside day again...I'll try to stay awake today!

xox
Joanne

Back from University of Michigan...

2011-01-27T13:58:00.006-05:00

and of course I took cookies with me! :) If you want to be guaranteed that your surgeon remembers you (for GOOD reasons lol) just bring cookies! You are sure to get big smiles and hugs! (not to mention jealous looks from the office staff too)

Anyway, the visit was a quick one today...yeah! Dr. Newman (surgeon) had looked over my Pet scan, and saw that things were "shrinking" and said that it was wonderful news. She also was happy to see that "it" is NO WHERE ELSE. (ME TOO!) She examined me and could feel that the lymph node in question was undeniably smaller, and was pleased to hear that I am going to be having more chemo, which will shrink it even smaller, hopefully! She told me there is the chance that chemo will shrink it away...keep praying...and I will more than likely need surgery at some point to "clean" the biopsy area where the cancer had returned, and if the lymph node shrinks away to very very small, then I might not even need surgery to remove it. That would be wonderful since it's in the collar bone area, and there's a lot of other important "stuff" in that area and unless necessary, you don't want to be poking around in there. Amen to that!

So back to chemo, waiting, and hopefully major shrinking going on inside of me. I had physical therapy yesterday on my shoulder again and it seems to be helping with general movement, which is another good thing, since I was NOT moving my left arm very well at all. I will see her again next week.

All in all, in has been a good week, filled with good news and I am very thankful for that. I just keep taking one day at a time and am thankful for the blessings in my life.

Have a terrific Thursday!

xox
Joanne

UPDATE (from yesterday)

2011-01-25T05:50:00.009-05:00

Sorry I didn't update yesterday...it was a long day and by the time I did get home, I ate dinner and went to bed. But here is the good news that I received from my oncologist... the chemo is working and it has shrunk the cancer by 30 percent! Not bad after only 3 treatments. I would have liked to have heard, "Going, going, GONE..but maybe next time!

The PET scan also revealed that the areas that "lit up" on this new PET scan only had a light up score of 3.7 as compared to my original scan in October which showed them at 5.0 (it's very confusing and harder to explain...but just know that the lower your score on the scale...the BETTER it is!) All in all, the bottom line is that the cancer IS shrinking, and that's the best news I could hear. So, what does this mean? According to my doctor, as long as the chemo is working, he wants me to continue with 3 more treatments, and then get scanned again. (Is anyone thinking "Ground Hog Day" here?) I am having chemo this morning, chemo #4. Then again three weeks from today, and once again, three weeks after that. That will bring us to March for the scan.

I will be also visiting with my surgeon at the University of Michigan on Thursday to see if she agrees with the decision made by my oncologist, or what her view is from a surgical standpoint.
My oncologist told me yesterday that the smaller the cancer, the smaller the surgery! That makes sense to me, and one doesn't want to rush into surgery anyway. But I will wait and see what Dr. Newman thinks on Thursday. I'll let you know what she says.

The physical therapy before my doctor visit went well. As well as physical therapy can go I guess. The swelling in my arm was measured, and there was a measurable difference in my upper arm from the last time I'd been measured, and sadly, not in a good way. No wonder I was having so much pain in that area...it was 4 cm larger than last time. (which means a LOT more fluid was stuck in that area) I will be having P.T. on Wednesday again, and probably a few more times after that. Hopefully, chemo #4 and physical therapy will help reduce all of this extra swelling.

I did also attend the "Look Good Feel Great" program which is hosted by the American Cancer Society yesterday afternoon. (Now you know why I came home, ate dinner, and went to bed!)
It was being held right there at the hospital, so I didn't have to go out of my way exactly to attend. It was a lovely event, and I left with another new hat (lol I may have to remain bald for quite some time to wear all of them) and a HUGE bag of cosmetics and skin products. (Yes Rachel, new make up next time you come home)

All in all, a long, but productive day. I'm actually kind of looking forward to just sitting today at chemo. I might even take a nap! :)

Thanks for checking back to see what's going on. I'll be back on Thursday with the news from U of M.

Have a wonderful day!
xox
Joanne

Today Is The Day

2011-01-24T08:52:00.010-05:00

Today at 11:30 I will be seated with my oncologist and he will tell me the "plan" for the rest of my treatment. The initial phase, 3 chemo treatments and then a scan to measure the work that the chemo has done, is complete. Now we find out what phase two is about. I was going to receive my PET scan results today, along with the "plan," but I wound up in the doctor's office on Thursday morning due to pain in my swollen arm. I received a new pain med (thank goodness for drugs is all that I can say about that) and Suzanne (my P.A.) gave me the results of my scan! It showed the chemo is working, and the cancer has shrunk. OK, I was hoping that it would magically disappear...one can dream, right? But, it was good news none the less. I will take shrinking vs. growing any day! The scan also showed it was still NOWHERE ELSE! More reasons to celebrate!

So all in all, the news was good on Thursday. I spoke to Suzanne and Marilyn, my physical therapist, and it was decided that I needed some more physical therapy on the swollen arm. They believe that the swelling and fluid in my arm is putting pressure on the nerves, which in turn is causing me the pain I've been experiencing (which let's just say has not been fun.) My P.T. will now include my shoulder area which has had its own issues in the past, but now due to the swelling and fluid is affected. Just think domino effect. Hopefully this will help. I'll try anything.

I actually have something FUN to look forward to today as well. Twice a year the American Cancer Society sponsors a program called "Look Good Feel Great" for women undergoing cancer treatment. There will be free hats, free make up, and even free wigs! :) Not to mention being with others that are experiencing the same things that I am. I'm looking forward to going!

My schedule for today is a long one:

Physical therapy @ 9:45

Dr. Krishnan (oncologist) for the "plan" at 11:30

Look Good Feel Great 1:00 - 3:00

I will check back later today and let you know what PHASE TWO will be!
Have a great day!

xox
Joanne

Last Night

2011-01-18T10:50:00.009-05:00

I had my Pet scan last night at the hospital. Now we "hurry up and wait." The results are being sent to my oncologist and surgeon, who will review them, and when I see each of them next week, will tell me what the next step will be.

I'm not sure if the radioactive "stuff" that they injected me with last night had anything to do with it, but I had the worst night EVER last night. :( I know I'm usually happiness and sunshine, but there really wasn't anything to be rosy about last night. The swelling in my arm (from the lymphedema) has been acting up and brought with it some pretty bad pain. I'm not going to lie to you...it hurt...a LOT. I tried every med I've been given for pain and sadly, it didn't really help. I think I may have had two hours of sleep last night. :( I've put in a call to my lymphedema therapist, and hopefully she'll be able to help in some way.

Right now I'm going to head back to the "medicine cabinet," then I'm going to take a nap.

xox
Joanne

OH MY GOODNESS! Check out my daughter Jessica on OPRAH!!!

2011-01-15T08:28:00.009-05:00

OK...this is COMPLETELY UN-cancer related (is that a word?!) But I am such a proud mother...I just HAD TO SHARE! You may or may not know (how well do you REALLY know me lol) but my oldest daughter, Jessica, works for The Oprah Winfrey Show. Yes, it's exciting not only for her, but for her 'ol mom as well, who gets to live vicariously through her. I could write a blog entirely on the stories that she tells me...but of course I am usually sworn to secrecy, so that wouldn't really work. (Besides, who would I tell any way? Well, maybe MY mother!)

As you all know, it is Oprah's last season (yes, Jess will be looking for a new job. (Exactly where one goes after "Oprah" is unclear...but knowing Jess, it will be something else that's equally as great) and Jessica is always hard at work, but this final season has been a little crazy, to say the least.

She works as the assistant to one of the executive producers, Lisa Morin, and is often asked to do some "unusual" things. Lisa was the producer of the show where Oprah and Gayle went to Yosemite to go camping, and one of Jessica's jobs was to make and test the "menu" for Oprah and Gayle that would be used on the camping trip. She even asked me for some advice on camping food, being the "seasoned" girl scout that she has made fun of me for years! (Yeah! Girl Scouting finally came in handy!)

Being the last season of the show, there is a new program on the OWN network showing the "behind the scenes" of the last year. It airs on the OWN network at 8:00 PM on Fridays. I have occasionally caught glimpses of Jessica's back, or seen her walking through the office. The "behind the scene" crews are everywhere 24/7, so you really never know if she will show up. BUT you can see her in a special exclusive webisode (talk about a made up word) on the Oprah Show website. Check it out here:

http://www.oprah.com/own-oprah-behind-the-scenes/Exclusive-Webisode-Harpo-Cookout-Video

All I can say is, "That's MY GIRL!" :)

(Isn't it fun to NOT talk about cancer! lol)

xox
Joanne

Round Two here I come!

2011-01-14T12:47:00.005-05:00

I am all "scheduled up" and ready for the next step in treatment...whatever that may be. The original plan was to complete three rounds of chemo, give the drugs a chance to work, and then have a PET scan to see how well the meds are working. (GREAT I am hoping!)

Here is the line-up:

Monday, January 17 PET Scan at 4:00 PM
Monday, January 24 See Oncologist for Pet Scan Results
?? Tuesday, January 24 Scheduled Chemo, but depends on scan results
Thursday, January 27 U of M doctor appointment with my "second opinion" doctor
(hoping she will tell me the same next step that regular oncologist told me!)
Tuesday, February 1, MUGA scan (which monitors my heart!)

WHEW! I'm already exhausted, and I haven't done anything yet! LOL This line-up makes teaching fifth grade look like a walk in the park! :) And boy oh boy, I would LOVE to be walking in that park...believe me!

I will keep you all informed and up to date. Thanks for checking in.

xox
Joanne

Long over due

2011-01-14T06:57:00.018-05:00

Say hello to my husband, Steve, the M.I.B. (man in black) If you think its tough going through cancer treatment not once, but twice, think again. Try being married to that same person. I will be the first to admit that I've had a somewhat "rocky" road this trip. That's probably why I haven't been as regular at blogging as I was the first time around. Something that I'm currently working at improving with a vengeance. We all know it's about the "attitude" and keeping a positive outlook. Let's just say that some days it hasn't been that easy to remain positive (and that would be an understatement.) Yet, Steve manages to try his best every day, and he puts up with me and my "moods." (Who me? Moody? Noooo couldn't be!)

Anyway, it wouldn't matter if I showed you a picture of Steve from this week, two months ago, or 2 years ago...it would look the same. And these pics were not taken on the same day...just same attire. He has also worn his hair the same way for....well...forever. To say that he is "particular" about his hair would be an understatement to say the least. So you can imagine my surprise, amazement, and utter SHOCK when he walked in the front door, around the time I was losing my hair, and he looked like this...

I was SPEECHLESS! And for those of you that truly know me, you know what a rare moment that is! He was actually wearing a hat, but I could tell what was missing right away...his hair! OH MY GOODNESS is all I could say. He then told me that since I was losing my hair, he decided that he would lose his too. It was going to be his way of supporting me this time around. Wow! This is something I never thought I'd see in my lifetime. Actually, I HAVE never seen him with any other hair style. But it looks great...don't you think? His co-workers have told him the same thing, as did Jessica, Carly, and Rachel (who were also in a state of shock when they saw him.) See, it all boils down to "it's only hair." You are what you are from the INSIDE, not what people see on the outside. If we could all remember that, the world would be a better place. And as far as the M.I.B. he continues to keep his hair short, and he has told me that it will stay that way until I get mine back. Who knows, he may even decide he actually likes it, (sure has saved him time in the bathroom in the morning with the hair dryer and "styling") and he may keep it. Or, he may go back to the "old" Steve. Whatever he decides is fine with me because his "insides" are shining through.

Happy New Year!

2011-01-06T12:23:00.005-05:00

I know it's been a few weeks since I've checked in. I'm so sorry! Life was very chaotic for the few weeks that everyone was home, and I barely even thought of going online. Remember when we did not have our lives connected to the "world wide web?" lol Life managed to go on just fine.

Anyway, yesterday I had chemo number three, and all is well. I didn't feel very good the afternoon of chemo and took to bed for most of the day. Later realized that it was MY FAULT! I forgot to take my afternoon anti nausea meds and the good news is that now I know that they work! Won't forget those again. The next step on the journey is to see my doctor next Tuesday. She will give me RX to get PET scan, and based on that scan, which will tell how WELL the chemo is working (see how optimistic I'm being) then the next step of my journey will begin. It will either be more chemo or possibly surgery. Not sure at all...it all depends on what the PET scan shows. Lets all hope that the chemo is attacking those cells with a vengence!!

I have some fun pics to share and more to tell, but Rachel is leaving to go back to college on Saturday, and we area doing some last minute errands to get her ready.

I'll be all alone soon, and with lots more time to blog. Again, thanks for the many cards, well wishes and phone calls that I receive from all of you. They are what keeps me going on a daily basis.

I wish everyone HEALTH and Happiness in this new year!

xox
Joanne

Would the REAL Mom please step forward?

2010-12-21T14:59:00.021-05:00

Confused? Me too! And you are not seeing things, so don't try to adjust your screen. This is what happens when you are slap happy and your family has been at the University of Michigan Cancer Center for seven hours. Yes, we were all there... all day yesterday. We checked in at 8:30 and left about 5:oo pm. Why? Well, that's a great question. I'll give you a very short answer (or we'd be here for another 7 hours.) I was encouraged by my surgical oncologist to seek a seek opinion for my treatment, and I did. With all the family in tow. By the time I saw my third doctor, and all five of us were stuffed into an extremely small examination room, we were loopy, tired, and just a little on edge. (ok, maybe I was the one on edge, they were all just tired from being up since 6:00 am) Jessica decided that she would be "Mom" and put on my stuff. Then it got passed to Rachel, Carly, and even Steve! The door was closed, but the laughter level was high, and I'm sure anyone passing by in the hallway wondered what the HECK was going on inside that room. I guess there isn't often wild uncontrollable laughter emanating from inside a breast cancer center examination room. Well, there's always time for a first, and this was apparently it. We phoned my sister in Dallas and she got into the act as well. (xoxo Aunt B!)
Laughter is the best medicine after all, and we needed a big dose!

The day at U of M went well, and the great news is that their opinion matched with my current course of treatment. I will be returning at the end of January however, after my third chemo treatment, and the next round of scans for another round of evaluations. For now, we hurry up and wait, and let the chemo do its job.

And yes, in case you haven't seen me recently, the hair is history. I was buzzed this past Friday, it just wouldn't wait for the girls to come home. That's ok though. I am more than my hair, and it will take more than a buzz cut to keep this (bald) chick down. You won't have to look very hard, you can still see the REAL ME shining through.

xoxo
Joanne

A visit from Santa Ryan!

2010-12-17T06:55:00.024-05:00

My second chemo has come and gone, and so far so good! :) My post chemo meds were
changed slightly and maybe I can attribute these feelings to a "little less of this, and a little more of that."
I will go with the flow however, and just enjoy feeling mostly myself...which is a good thing! The hair however, is a different story. I will have to refer to the sentence above..."a little less of this" would be most accurate.

I was very kindly invited to have dinner last night with a student from my class this year, Ryan and his mother, Wendy. They asked me join them at Panera (only to happy to oblige) and they told me that they had some Christmas gifts for me! :) So I decided to take a shower before I left. It's not nice to show up for dinner with friends looking unkempt! Hindsight being twenty twenty, it was a bad bad idea...hair wise that is. (I did smell rather nice so that part was ok) However, by the end of the shower, I looked like a bird that is quite close to the END of molting. Take my word, it was not a good look (even for a bird) So off I went in search of a bandana, tied it on, hopped into the bug, and I was off!

I spotted Ryan right away! He was peering over a booth top watching the door for me. It was wonderful to see him and he rushed over to give me a huge hug! Wendy ordered our food and the gift giving frenzy began! :) Oh my, Oh my, Oh my is all I can say! The bag was about as big as Ryan, and he kept reaching in to pull out gifts! It was TRULY Christmas come early! One gift was more amazing and thoughtful than the next. The most amazing gift of all however, had to be the "Harry Potter" Snuggy! Being the TRUE H.P. fan that I am, they found this amazing gift and thought of me. It will be warm and FUN to wear up in camp chemo, and I'm sure to be the only H.P. Snuggy Wearing patient in the entire hospital!! We ate, talked about school, yesterday's holiday party in class, and in general, just had a WONDERFUL WONDERFUL visit. Wendy and Ryan, I cannot thank you enough for your kindness, thoughtfulness, and caring. You really truly made me feel special and I feel the same about you!

Now I'll fit right into the Gryffindor Common Room with Harry, Ron, and Hermione! :)

xox
Joanne

Going...Going...But Not Gone...

2010-12-14T06:38:00.025-05:00

yet. The time has come. My hair will not be with me much longer. But that's alright. We all knew it was going to happen sooner or later. My second visit to camp chemo will be in two hours, and after this visit it will really be adios. This past week my scalp has been very tender to the touch. Even water hitting it from the shower head has been uncomfortable. I also have to be extremely careful when I pull a shirt over my head because even if the material barely touches it, my head doesn't feel that great. In a way it will be a relief. It's actually been quite a pain to have hair everywhere. It's on my clothes, on the kitchen table, in the sink, and I've even pulled it out of my food. (At least I know it's mine...it's a different story when you find it on your plate as you're out dining in a nice restaurant! ewww) I'm just sorry to have to be bald again in the cold weather. It gets chilly up there with no covering! I'm open to suggestions for ways to keep the 'ol pool ball warm.

I am looking forward to this weekend. ALL three of my girls will be home! :) :) :) To say I'm excited, overjoyed, and beyond happiness, would be an understatement. Carly, you had better bring warm clothing! I'm afraid 6 months of living in L.A. in 80 degree weather might have dimmed your memory as to what a Michigan winter feels like. It is C O L D here! They have canceled schools for the second day in a row...so you KNOW it must be bad out there. My teacher friends are doing the happy dance and the students are rejoicing! Now there are only three school days left before the holiday break. Good Luck when they come back tomorrow! ;)

I also wanted to say thanks to some people that have contacted me and I have not yet gotten in touch with them. Your kindness and thoughtfulness has touched me deeply. You truly have no idea what it means to me to hear from you. I have had a difficult time dealing with this the second time around and I'm trying my best to cope. Peggy Lisac, I LOVE the pin you sent me, and your card touched my heart. You are a true friend and I want to thank you for just "being there." Leslie, I'm SO sorry that my dogs nearly attacked you through the window when you delivered your card. I'm not sure what I was doing, but since they bark at anything, I didn't rush to the door. I'm SO sorry that I didn't. Your card was beautiful, and I'm so very sorry for your recent losses. I WILL make an effort to walk three whole houses away so we can visit. Sue H. I told you that I'd return your call, and I didn't :( You are one of my oldest and dearest friends and just hearing your voice warmed my insides. Thanks for just being you. Cindy P. what can I say. You are always there, even when it's been awhile since we've talked. That is a true friend.

There are so many more of you out there, and just knowing that you're keeping me in your thoughts and prayers has boosted my spirits and keeps me going. I know that I still have quite a road to travel, but I can do it with your help.

Well, my chariot will be here soon to pick me up. Kathy, you are an angel to come out in this frigid frozen tundra to take me to camp chemo and to keep me company. If we had only KNOWN that this would be a snow day, we could have rounded up the "troops" and had a party at "camp!"

xox
Joanne

This is what happens when I comb my hair...

and this is what fell into the sink...

but for right now, I still look like me! (ok a tired me lol)

**UPDATE**

Back from Camp Chemo. I'm all "juiced up" and at this point feel fine. Everything went as planned...well, there was one small problem..there was a "malfunction" with the tubing that drips my cocktail into me, and let's just say that I was being showered upon. It was dripping onto the floor, onto me, and the nurse had to call for "back up" to help stop the flow of toxic chemicals. All in a days work for camp chemo nurses I guess.

I also wanted you to see the headband that my mother made for me. It arrived yesterday with a note that said, "This will look beautiful on a bald head." I agree! I did want you see it WITH hair before you see it without. It's the pic at the top of the post with me in the chair. I just love it! Thanks Mom! xoxo

I also wanted to give a huge XOXOOXO to Kathy for coming and taking me to chemo. It took us an hour and a half to get the hospital due to the bad weather. The trip normally takes 20 minutes. We stopped on the way home at Panera (where else lol) and had soup (what else do you eat on a freezing day!) She made chemo fun and the time just whizzed right by. She also helped me pick two new hats from the "hat basket!" They are always available to take and are made by volunteers. I picked one (the one on my head) and she picked another. We couldn't decide so I took BOTH! :)

Stay warm!
xoxo
Joanne

Oh where Oh where have you been?

2010-12-09T15:43:00.024-05:00

Sorry I haven't really updated recently. I was having some "issues" with my swollen arm. Don't worry, I'm alright now, but it was a little scary. I left physical therapy on Monday (was that only 48 hours ago?) with great news! The therapy worked quickly and my arm below the elbow was normal! (The therapist took measurements each time I went) Above the elbow, only 2 cm (NOT inches) bigger, which was in the "range" of normal (easy to say when you already have a flabby upper arm) but I was being sent to the medical store to get fit for a compression sleeve. This was great news since the sleeve is like wearing support socks (not that I would know) but on your arm instead. I was thrilled...no more MUMMY WRAP during the day. I would have to still "wrap" at night to keep swelling away. OK I can handle this. Off I went to get measured on Tuesday. I left with the sleeve on my arm. I will now refer to it as the "arm girdle" because that's what it feels like. TIGHT. The good news is that from the wrist to the tip of my fingers, I was FREE and it felt good! :)

Fast forward to Tuesday evening. I was wearing the arm girdle and I feel asleep around 7:00. Early even for me, but I'll take the sleep when I can get it. I must have woken up in the middle of the night and pulled the arm girdle off because I don't remember doing it. I woke up in the morning and realized what I had done! I was supposed to mummy wrap my arm when I go to sleep! I looked at my arm and noticed it was just a bit swollen, so I wrapped it instead of using the girdle. (I'm supposed to wrap when I notice even a little swelling start because it will keep it in check) Well, later in the day, my arm REALLY hurt. A lot! I tried to ignore it, but it wasn't going away. I thought, "Joanne, you should unwrap and see what the problem is." So I did. I surprised you didn't hear my shocked gasp from wherever you are. I could not believe what I was looking at. There was an ENORMOUS swollen fluid filled lump by my elbow. I can't even begin to tell you how large it was. I was scared. I made an "emergency physical therapist" call to Marilyn and told her what the problem was. (who would think that there IS such a thing as a P.T. emergency?!!) She told me that I had wrapped my arm TOO tightly above and below the elbow (can you spell tourniquet boys and girls?) and there was no place for the fluid to go. Hence, it was all collecting in the elbow area! She told me that I had to do what SHE usually does, and physically move the fluid. Yeah, right. I tried, but it wasn't working for me. (I was also a "teeny" bit upset)

Steve came to the rescue and HE moved the fluid. I gave him instructions and he did his best. Which turned out to be alright. The lump started to go down after about 20 minutes and then I re-wrapped (not too tightly this time) and I went to bed. I was exhausted from the whole ordeal.
Thanks Steve.

I went to see Marilyn this morning. The lump had gone down almost all the way (thank goodness) and when she measured my arm, it was almost back to where it was on Monday. I wrapped my arm in front of her, and she helped me to see what I was doing wrong. I left happily NOT getting the feeling squeezed out of my arm.

I figured that since a few days had gone by, I should let you know that I'm alright. Especially now that it's all over. I know that I'm feeling better. I made Paula Deen's Gooey Butter Cake this afternoon. There's NOTHING that two sticks of butter can't fix! :)

(Yes, they taste as good as they look! Thanks Paula!)

xox
Joanne

Good bye

2010-12-08T05:34:00.009-05:00

The news last night of Elizabeth Edwards really hit me hard. Cancer knows no boundaries between faith, fame, wealth, or station in life. Another tragic and senseless loss from this devastating disease. Elizabeth, you were strong and brave and you showed dignity until the very end. You were a symbol of strength and resilience to all us battling the same fight.

Your family's loss is ours as well. You will be missed. May you finally be at peace now with your beloved son, Wade.

I'm a proud mama!

2010-12-07T07:21:00.015-05:00

My daughter Carly has a wonderful job. She works for Ellen. Yes, THE Ellen. I guess before I continue, I need to tell you that my oldest daughter, Jessica, works for Oprah. Yes, THE Oprah.
I know, I know, what are the chances that one mother has two daughters, each working for the biggest names in television today. I'll tell you...ONE BILLION to one, and I'm the ONE! :) And what about my youngest daughter, Rachel? (Because I'm so lucky to have three beautiful, talented, and smart daughters. HEY, the title of this entry is, "I'm a proud mama!") Rachel is only a junior in college, but she is embarking on the BEST (and most important) career of all. She is going to be a teacher...just like her mom! :) :) :) Only the bravest of the brave, those with nerves of steel, endless papers to grade and correct, and the sinking feeling of exhaustion at the end of the school day can even attempt to do this. You go Rach!

All three of my daughters have been a constant source of pride, joy, and happiness. And I've got to tell you, the older two keep me constantly amused by their jobs, along with the "unusual" stories they share with me on a regular basis. They are traveling in circles that the rest of us can only imagine. So, it is with pride, I present to you Carly's 15 seconds of fame on the Ellen show yesterday. (I knew it was going to happen, but I was SWORN to secrecy!) What mother wouldn't be proud of her daughter being one of twelve wives to a polygamist mormon? And she is pregnant to boot! My cup runneth over with joy. She is in the red dress with the bulging belly. Kind of hard to miss. Enjoy.
http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2010/12/a_12_days_surprise_with_the_sister_wives_1206.php

*Carly actually has 30 seconds of fame...watch for her AGAIN after the give-away (I fast forwarded through the gifts, sorry Ellen, Carly was more important to her mama) she and the other "sister wives" are dancing on stage with Ellen. Carly, a gal in your "condition" needs to be a little more careful when dancing! :)

xox
Joanne (You may now call me Grandma)

Thinking of you

2010-12-07T06:35:00.001-05:00

Elizabeth Edwards, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

OHHHH MY GOODNESS!

2010-12-04T06:10:00.015-05:00

You will never believe who I ran into in the entry way of the medical building!!! It was SARA DIXON! OK, I realize that you don't know her, but she is ONE OF MY CURRENT STUDENTS!
I was leaving physical therapy (for my arm) and I was getting my jacket on (remember, mothers and teachers tell you to put them on when exiting a building) and my back was to the elevators.
I turned around to leave, and heard the most beautiful sound I've ever heard, "MRS. SHEIMAN?!"
(hard to believe that previously when I've heard my name in class for the one thousandth time that day, I silently beg for the world to be put on mute) I looked in the direction of the voice and Sara came running over to give me the biggest hug in the universe!! Boy did I need that hug Sara! Her mom, Renee, had brought her to the doctor for a checkup because she had not been feeling well. What are the chances that all of us would meet for that split second in the entry way at the exact same time?! Well, I can tell you that it was not chance, it was meant to be. It was the best medicine in the world. We hugged and chatted, and chatted and hugged. I don't think the smile ever left my face. Eventually it was time to go, and I suddenly remembered the pie! (Remember from yesterday?) The lemon pie was sitting in my car, and I had baked up (HA no pun intended...but a good one none the less) a crack pot scheme to deliver it to my friend, Sue, the school secretary in my building. Since I'm not allowed on school property when out on medical leave, this was going to be tricky to get it to her. I had decided to drive to school from therapy, park on the street next to the building's parking lot, and wait for some unsuspecting
person to park and head inside. I was going to call out to them, and beg them politely to transport my to Sue. Lucky for me, Renee and Sara happily volunteered to bring the pie themselves as they were headed back there anyway. It all worked out wonderfully in the end. But wouldn't it have been fun to hear about the mummy encased one armed woman, shouting quietly under her breath from a partially rolled down car window, "PSSSSSSSSSSSST could you get this lemon pie into the school?"

xox
Joanne

Bethany, It was also WONDERFUL to see your mom at Kroger!! I was soooo excited and I kept hugging her and telling her to pass the hugs onto you! :) :) I miss you too! I think we should plan a "visit!" My favorite place in the world is Panera...maybe we can get some hot chocolate and visit? What do you think. You have my email...ask your mom and we will make it happen. xoxo

(I wasn't kidding about the mummy arm either)

That smile NEVER left my face!

Renee, don't worry about it being blurry, our smiles are shining through!

Thanks for taking the pics Renee..I hope your BIG term paper got finished!

Lemon Pie

2010-12-03T05:35:00.022-05:00

I see that I am behind "schedule." The computer says it is 5:36 AM but I have been awake for hours. My eyes popped open at the usual time (3:15) and it was time to get up. Too bad I can't work the night shift somewhere...I'd be raring to go after half a shift! My dogs think I'm insane, and cannot figure out why I'm taking them out to do their business in the middle of the dark, freezing, god forsaken night. It's been lightly snowing here in Michigan for two days now and it's also very slippery out there...note to get some salt. We do not want a repeat episode from two years ago. For those who don't know or can't remember (or possibly don't care haha too bad...when I get started with a story, you might as well just listen cause I'm going to tell it anyway) get this picture into your head: freezing Michigan day in January (I think...see, even I don't remember) dogs needed to do their business (what else is new?) and p.j. clad(red scottie dogs of course...4 sizes too big), chemo infused bald as a bowling ball little 'ol me, trots outside wearing slippers and no jacket (smart right? didn't your mother AND your teacher always tell you to put a coat on when you go outside. Sorry, I'm both) into the swirling white accumulating drifts and say, "OH MY GOD FRANKIE (little white canine monster) would you JUST PEE ALREADY!!! And while I'm waiting for the snow to get it's blessed yellow due rewards...I feel a little woozy (yes, that's a word) and the next thing I know, I'm DOWN FOR THE COUNT! Passed out cold in the snow in my scottie dogs! (Glad I'm not a lingerie type of gal) I wake up with my face in the snow and the dogs standing over me looking stupid. They are wondering if they can please go inside now? I haul myself up, realize there is blood dripping down the back of my right hand. Apparently I made a futile effort to grab a small tree for support (obviously it didn't work) on my way down to the frozen tundra. It looks worse than it is and we make it safely back inside. Now, if that story doesn't make you want to run out and buy some rock salt for the patio, I'm not quite sure what would do it. Maybe the mental picture of a frozen bald headed woman in old baggy red flannel scottie dog pajamas prostrate on the ground (Room 106...you know I love big words...look it up!) might work for you.

Oh yeah...the lemon pie. I made one at 3:15 in the morning. What else would one do at that hour?

(Sue B. this one is for you...don't worry, I kept the one with the missing slice!) *If anyone out there can help me line up pics...just step forward tin man.

xox
Joanne

P.S. Lorriane, Pat, Kathy, and Cindy P. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!

Yesterday

2010-12-01T05:47:00.010-05:00

"May you find serenity and tranquility in a world you may not always understand. May the pain, that you might know, and the conflict that you experience, give you the strength to walk through life facing each new situation with courage and optimism. Always know that there are those whose love and understanding will always be there, even when you feel most alone. May a kind word, a reassuring touch, and a warm smile be yours every day of your life, and may you give these gifts as well as receive them. Remember the sunshine when the storm seems unending."

My love for my daughters, my sister, and my mother are unconditional and never ending. They are the reason that my heart beats. Together, there is nothing that we can't achieve, and I will move heaven and earth to make it happen.

Yesterday, a random meeting with a kind stranger made me feel special. He spoke to me like I was a friend and took the time to listen. This chance encounter may seem insignificant, but to me, it meant the world because my world has been turned upside down and nothing is what it's supposed to be. Words can hurt deeper than a knife, but they also have the power to heal. Thank you "Dave" for making me smile.

3:00 A.M. and a turkey sandwich

2010-11-29T07:17:00.016-05:00

According to my computer, it's now 7:18 a.m. but what's a few hours among friends? It's been a restless few days, and I was in my kitchen at 3:00 a.m. eating a Thanksgiving sandwich. A girl has to keep up her strength, regardless of the hour! ;) I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, and time was well spent time eating delicious things and visiting with loved ones.

The chemo wave (alright, more like a tsunami) hit on Friday, three days after receiving it. I was down for the count. I don't think I ventured out of my chair for the next 24 hours. Luckily for me, my daughter Rachel was home from college and she hovered lovingly nearby and did her best to make me comfortable. I won't lie, I just plain old felt miserable. When my mother (in NJ) and sister (in Dallas) called to check in with me, I could hear the concern in their voices. "You don't sound very good," they managed to say. Yup, I can agree with that. I'll just sit here and continue watching the Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives marathon on the Food Network. (I had no idea there were so many types of omelettes around the country and most are big enough to feed a family of ten.)

By Saturday I summoned the strength to venture out of the house with Rachel. (I was afraid that my tv chair was forming around my rear end and would never release me) We dressed and headed to the local JC Penny (I know...contain your excitement) and did a bit of shopping.
I mostly sat on the bench in the dressing room and put things on hangers, but it's a start. It did actually feel good to get up and get out of the house for a bit.

Sunday dawned, but it's hard to tell when you keep waking up every hour or so through the night. I sleep when I can, and eat what I can. Which brings us back to this morning at 3:00 a.m.
I wandered upstairs fairly early in the evening, and by the time I woke up at 3 o'clock, I was starving! Food was the only thing I could think of, so I got up, took the dogs outside, and then I made a sandwich. I felt better and went immediately back to bed.

Thank goodnesss that turkey makes you sleepy after you eat it. It might become my antidote to sleepless nights.

xox
Joanne

Return to camp

2010-11-24T08:25:00.032-05:00

(I love my long hair Ajah! xox Hope it looks like this someday!)

As a past summer camper, I can tell you how much you look forward to returning to your second season at camp. You already know the kids, you know the activities, and above all, you know you're going to have FUN! Well, it was kind of sort of like that, but you can get the "fun" part right out of your head. Even I (the eternal half glass full gal) could never, in any stretch of the imagination, refer to chemotherapy as fun. (If there's someone out there that can refute this claim...step forward tin man!) The best parts of yesterday were exactly the same as a return to summer camp. I knew all of the campers (nurses and office staff) and they did greet me with big hugs, words of encouragement (always welcome), and smiles on their faces. They told me in no uncertain terms, "We've done this once, and we're just going to do it again!" "OK" I thought. Let's get this show on the road.

For support, Rachel and Steve went with me. You are technically allowed only one support member in the chemo room with you, but as I was one of the first "guests" of the day, there were empty seats. Eventually as the room filled up (sadly, there are a lot of sick people) Steve moved to the office waiting room. Usually a chemo patient has a port placed under their skin and the infusion lines are just attached to the port. Ports allow easy access to draw blood as well as infuse medicine. But I don't have one! Remember, I was supposed to be finished with all of this and they took it out when I had my surgery one year ago. Ah well, we're going to improvise and see how long it works. I may or may not have to have to port replaced. For now, I will just get the 'ol needle in the arm trick each time I go. This is what it looks like.

Yes, that's me...you can tell by the trio of bracelets that ARE surgically attached to my body. I
will admit, they kind of "soften" the look. Chemo with STYLE! lolol (it's ok to laugh!)

After they've attached everything, the tubes are run to the infusion stand, where your special little cocktail is waiting to be sent directly to you! (No, this is not like when my school staff has special meetings after school, and special little cocktails are sent directly to our table) Then you sit patiently and wait. Tick Tick Tick You wait. Tick Tick Tick. Still waiting. (Students in room 106...remember how I teach you EVERY day that WAITING IS A SKILL THAT YOU NEED IN LIFE? Well, I wasn't kidding!!!) While you are waiting, you can chat with loved ones (thanks Rach and Steve) then you can watch TV. I was watching my favorite show, "ELLEN" and I also chose to be wear my ELLEN shirt, because anything to do with ELLEN puts a smile on my face.
And if one has to go to chemo (for the second time), then one REALLY wants to have something to make them smile., and Ellen is guaranteed to make that happen. Three hours passed by like that (clicking my fingers but you can't hear) OK not really, but it sounded good! My visit this time lasted from 9:00-12:00.

LAUGH DANCE CHEMO

We left for home, but not without a quick stop at COSTCO! Hey, a girl's gotta keep her strength up, and it really was quick, I just needed my Costco bread! Then it was home to my chair, where I spent the rest of the day dozing on and off. I was really tired, but due to the fact that I haven't been sleeping very well lately. I have had a slight swelling issue (slight being an understatement)
with my left arm the last few weeks due to lymphedema (feel free to google..too much info to post here) and it has been painful and keeps sleep away! My doctors feel that my new chemo is going to help with this swelling, and I am happy to say that last night I slept uninterrupted for TEN HOURS!!! I feel soooo much better today! Only difficulties I had during the day were stomach aches that came and went, but one can expect that when one has toxic crap running through their system, right?!

Today I ate some toast with my meds (don't take on an empty stomach... ok I won't, thank you very much for telling me) and now I talking with all of you (which always makes me feel better) and later today I'm going to bake (NOOOO! me? bake? you know I must be feeling alright!) some desserts for Thanksgiving...which is TOMORROW! oh my goodness...time to go...all of you must have some shopping, or turkey cleaning, or chestnuts to roast (do people still do that?)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL OF YOU!! I am thankful that I have all of YOU in my life.

xox
Joanne

P.S.
Thought I'd share some amazing cards made by my class. I love you Room 106! As well as cards that I've received from all of you! Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers.

Each student made a square for me and the card was pieced together like a quilt. They obviously know me
well! (I also have NO idea why this is underlined and
couldn't figure out how to get rid of it...if YOU know me well you will be chuckling right now)

Cards sent to me (?what no underline? lol) as well
as a VERY cute PINK bucket sent from Carly and
"Aunt" ELLEN (lol)

It's official now

2010-11-19T19:13:00.005-05:00

I went to my classroom today and saw my students to tell them the news. It's the first time that I've been back, and I was literally welcomed with open arms! I popped into the room right after they had returned from recess. Once they saw me walk into the room there was a mad dash and I had 25 kiddos hugging me from all directions. It was wonderful to see them and I could tell that the feeling was mutual. I was so worried about how to tell them (remember, I've done this before) but they were great! They took the news in stride and had tons of questions, which I answered the best that I could. Then they promptly asked if I'd been in class on Monday! So much for listening skills!

It was equally wonderful to see my school "family" and even harder to leave at the end of the day. The hugs that you gave me said it all. I can't begin to express my thanks to all of you for the love and support that you've shown me. With you behind me, I can (and will ) move mountains.

Mary and Janice...special hugs to both of you for keeping the home fires burning!

xox
Joanne

You are never going to believe this....

2010-11-18T09:51:00.034-05:00

This is a blog that I never thought that I would write. Today is Thursday, November 18, 2010 and my breast cancer has returned. The past week has been a whirlwind of tests and doctor visits, and it was not until yesterday at approximately 3:00 PM that my immediate future was revealed.

Take a few deep breaths (I've had to take many) and I'll try my best to explain what has happened. Friday, August 20 was a VERY exciting day. It was my last Herceptin treatment.(refresher-herceptin is the year long chemo infusion that I was receiving once every three weeks after my chemo, bi lateral mastectomy, and radiation) The nurses blew the farewell bubbles (it is a right of passage when you complete your treatment) and I was in a big rush to leave. Finally, I could put this all behind me! The nurses burst my bubble (literally and figuratively) when they informed me that I would still needed to "check in" and my first post treatment check-in would be October 11. Okay, sounds great, and I rushed out of camp chemo with a huge smile on my face. School was starting after Labor Day and I was had lots to do! I closed the door on my illness and readied myself for the onslaught that a new school year always brings.

The next six weeks passed in a frenzied blur. New students, new staff, and a brand new year of fifth grade! I barely thought of the word cancer anymore. A week or two before my October 11 checkup, I noticed an unusual hardness in my left breast and actually pointed it out to some of my friends at work. I even made them feel it, just to reinforce to myself that I was not making it up. I truly didn't think too much about it, and just figured that I would mention it to my physician assistant, Suzanne at the checkup. About this time I also started to notice a slight swelling in my left forearm, and immediately thought that lymphedema had struck. (this is a very common side effect for women that have had lymph nodes removed and were given radiation.The lymph fluid does not flow through your limbs due to the removal of the nodes and therefore remains in your limb causing the swelling) Most breast cancer patients that have had my course of treatment are constantly on the lookout for this. It can happen at any time, even years after inititial treatment.

Fast forward to October 11. (7 short weeks later) I waltz into the checkup smiling from my head to my toe. I was feeling pretty darn good! During the checkup I mention to Suzanne that I have a weird hard spot, could she please look at it, and while you're at it, my arm seems to have swollen a bit too. She seems puzzled by the hard area and tells me that I should have my plastic surgeon take a peek. We figured it was somehow implant related. And the swelling, yeah, probably lymphedema. Keep it elevated and possibly I would require some physical therapy to manage the swelling. (no known cure for lymphedema) Plastic surgeon? Okay, I can handle that.
I drove directly from camp chemo across the street to Dr. Ali's office and "firmly" asked to see him right then. I decided that I would wait as long as necessary, but I was not leaving until he saw me. Luckily, he saw me right away. He examined the hard area, and was the first to mention the word "fatnecrosis" to me. What the heck is that? (see, you DO learn something every day!) He informed me that this was an extremely common side effect with women that have had B.C.
(What? ANOTHER ONE??) and radiation. The scar tissue and fat form a rock hard area which feels exactly like what I am experiencing. (Ok, that doesn't sound too bad) He told me to take motrin 3 times a day and put a warm compress on the area, and come back in one week. I also mention the swelling in my arm is starting to hurt.

I followed his directions to the letter, but sadly when I checked back in with him, I told him that nothing had changed. He re-examined me, and he had a very puzzled look on his face. I could tell right away that he was concerned. I finally asked what I had been afraid to. "Is this normal?"
"No." he told me. The panic started here. He told me that he was sending me for an ultra sound and this would determine what it was. GREAT IDEA I whole-heartedly agreed. He also wanted me to make an appointment to see Dr. Kirby (my surgical oncologist...more panic setting in) Off to the ultra sound a few days later. I explain to the technician why I am there, and she performs the test. Can you see anything?? Can you tell what the lump is?? Her words comforted me when she said, "It does not have the characteristics of cancer. But let's have the radiologist read the results before you leave. I know you are worried. (you have NO idea) She comes back and tells me the good news...he confirmed what she had told me. Good news! On to Dr. Kirby.

While I'm waiting for my appointment with Dr. Kirby, I receive a letter from the hospital giving me the results from the ultra sound. The letter stated that the mass was, "Benign, but undetermined." Undetermined?? No, not acceptable. I will talk to Dr. Kirby about this.

October 26th I am in Dr. Kirby's office. I ask her about the "undetermined" area from the ultrasound and let her know that I'm not comfortable with that word. I listen to her tell me all about fatnecrosis. Yup sounds right to me. Then she informs me that to be sure, we will need to biopsy the area. Biopsy? Alright, she's done that before... right here in the office. She tells me that this is the only way to know 100% what the hardness is. Sounds like a plan...let's get this done. I don't find out for a few days that this procedure has to be done surgically in the O.R. (silly me, thinking I'd lie down on the chair in her office) due to my implants. This means a few more days off from school, but it will be fine. (Remember, during all of this I am responsible for a living breathing class of fifth graders which are challenging my limits as a teacher each and every day)
Once again, I mention that my ever swelling arm is really bothering me now. She reassures me that we need to take one thing at a time and we will deal with the arm after the biopsy.

Thursday, November 4th. Biopsy day. My husband takes off work and drives me to the hospital. I have a very eerie deja vu. I do not like being wheeled into an O.R. All those people in surgical garb, and you can't see their faces. It's creepy and it's cold in there. I secretly hope that they will quickly put me "under." I wake up in recovering feeling a little out of it. Apparently I called my sister (the now famous Melissa that rescued me when I feinted in the shower after my first surgery for those that have read my blog before.) and she told me that I would not remember calling her...which of course I do not! lol Now I just hurry up and wait for the results.

5:30 PM Monday, November 8th. I go and pick up my VW bug (which has been in the repair shop for two weeks getting a new ENGINE. Don't ask...that's an entirely different story) and happily drive home. (Happy because I've been bumming rides for two weeks) I get home to find FIVE messages on my answering machine. They are all pretty lame except the last one. It's from
Dr. Kirby. Dr. Kirby?? It's now 5:45 in the evening and she left the message just a few minutes before I got home. The message says, "Please call me as soon as you get this message. Even though it's after hours, and I'm at the hospital, please have the answering service page me." 5:45? Call her? Page her at the hospital? Oh no...there is not a doctor alive that tells you to do this if they have GOOD NEWS to share with you. I make the call. I am standing in my kitchen, alone, with my dogs. I still have my work clothes and jacket on. Dr. Kirby answers the page and then asks me if I'm at school or at home. Home. My world falls apart with the news. It is back.

Lets skip forward past the hysteria (yes it happened) and where she told me to make an appointment to see my oncologist the next day. I'm in his office half listening, half not even believing what I'm hearing. I hear, "round of scans" and try to focus. They are pushing me through STAT and will need CT, bone, and MRI scans which have been scheduled for the next two days. I show up and do what they tell me. I have been injected twice with radio active crap and chugged two bottles of barium (hmmm I guess the skill of "chugging" has finally come in handy!) I now hurry up and wait again. I'm told to call Suzanne on Friday for the results.
Needless to say, not much sleep occurred during those days.

Friday November 12th I continuously check my phone. I receive an odd message from the hospital NOT Suzanne. The cryptic message says they are calling me to schedule my scan on Monday. What scan? Monday? I give them a call and I am informed that I am having a PET scan on Monday evening at 9:00 PM. Seriously? Alrighty but I'm not even sure why I'm having it (let alone at that ungodly hour) and give them the necessary information. Sometime later in the day I finally hear from Suzanne. She tells me that 99% of the scans are good news! My bone scan is clear and the brain scan is also clear (I guess that was not the time to make a joke about the fact that my brain in most decidedly not normal) but the CT scan showed a "speck" (her words) on my lung, which means I need the PET scan to find out what it is. She's sorry I heard it from the hospital before I heard it from her (yeah, me too) and I should probably move my new round of doctor appointments from Tuesday, Nov. 16th, to Wednesday the 17th. This way "they" will have all of the results and can formulate my "plan of action." Hurry up and wait some more.

2:15 Wednesday, November 17. I am sitting with my husband, Dr. Krishnan (oncologist), Suzanne (P.A.), and Andrea (breast cancer patient advocate) in the examining room. My entire family, plus dear school family and friends are waiting with their cell phones to hear the news.
The news is good, well, as good as one with cancer in their body (again) can hear. It is being called a "local recurrence" and it is not present anywhere else in my body! (HUGE HUGE HUGE
sigh of relief) We do not know why it has come back, but it is here and we need to get RID OF IT
(again) ohhh and remember that swelling in my arm???!!! Apparently it's not lymphedema.
The tumor (what an UGLY word...I will from this point on refer to it as the GROWTH) is pressing against my lymph nodes (the ones I have left anyway) and it is compressing them and not allowing fluid to pass out of my arm..hence the swelling!!! I need to start chemo this TUESDAY at 9:00 AM. (I asked to start sooner, but my meds will not be there until Tuesday) and they believe that once the chemo shrinks the growth a bit, the lymph nodes will spring back into action and my swelling will go down. (my arm is really really uncomfortable) I will have three rounds of chemo, spaced three weeks apart (last time they were two weeks apart) and after the third treatment, I will get scanned to see how the growth is responding. Depending on the findings at that point, I will either have surgery to remove the growth (which hopefully will be smaller at that point) or I will continue on chemo awhile longer.

We are going to take this one step at a time. It's not like I haven't been down this road before. Oh yeah...I'm losing my hair again. Oh well...it's only hair and we already know how I look without it, so no biggy this time. Break out the knitted hats (again)

I will update this blog regularly. It seems to really help me to write it down, which in turn seems to sort everything out for me. I'm sure you have a million questions. I know I do. I just know how important all of you are to me, and I CANNOT do this alone. I need all of you to help me fight this again...because FIGHT I'M GOING TO DO! For goodness sakes, I need to a long long life, especially long enough to see one of my daughters with a BOYFRIEND (not even thinking husband!) so....let's get this done!!!!

xoxo
Joanne

Alive and kicking (cancer's butt )

2010-02-06T16:53:00.005-05:00

Yes, I AM alive and well! It came as quite a shock to me a few days ago when my sis (yes, the famous Melissa from the fainting bathtub incident this past summer) said, "Joanne, you had better update your blog! I'm getting emails from people that are wondering if you are "still among us!" WHAT!!! She thought it was quite humorous that this thought had never crossed my mind! I am SO sorry if my absence led you to think the unthinkable! I am extremely sorry that anyone has had to worry about me. So let's set the record straight...I am still here and plan to be for a LONG LONG TIME!

I guess after my radiation finished, and I returned to work, I just figured all of you would find better things to read about online and I got lax in updating my blog. I will continue to check in and let you know how things are going from now on.

Actually, I have had some proverbial bumps in the road since I last spoke to all of you, but all's well now. Things after radiation returned to normal (wait...is there such a thing as normal even without cancer?) and and the days settled into a routine. Teach fifth grade during the week, collapse from exhaustion on weekends. (From dealing with pre-adolescents every day...not cancer!) I was still receiving my herceptin infusion every three weeks at camp chemo and things were going great. I even started to get some length to my hair and it started to curl. I mean REALLY curl...and this was very exciting to someone that has had stick straight hair their entire life! I had some routine doctor appointments and scans in Decemberand did receive the BEST NEWS EVER....my CAT scan and bone scan were negative!!! NO CANCER found! Hip Hip Hooray! Wait, don't cheer too loudly yet...my CAT scan showed something "suspicious" on my thyroid. Oh no...here we go again. My THYROID??!! You've GOT to be kidding. Just when I was practicing the words, "no more cancer" I started to worry again. I did have good cause. You see, my infamous sister, Melissa, had thyroid cancer many years ago. I was directed to a brand new doctor. (gee, didn't have enough I guess) Fast forward...after an examination, in which he did feel something on my thyroid, he decided to do a biopsy. I waited an agonizing week for the results, and when I read the words, "NO CANCER DETECTED," I DID jump for joy!

The other small bump that I'm dealing with now is that I had to be taken off my herceptin infusion for 12 weeks. Along with the CAT and Bone scan in December, I also received a routine heart scan, (a side effect of herceptin is that it can weaken your heart. YIKES! I think I need that organ!) and the heart scan showed a fairly dramatic decrease in my heart function. Therefore, they needed to take me off the infusion in the hopes that when I have the next heart scan (in about two weeks) my heart function will be back up to where it should be. That will mean herceptin is the cause, and a different dose will be prescribed, and it will be back to camp chemo for me!

I've also seen my plastic surgeon since I last posted. I was hoping that my final surgery to get these &^%$# chest "expanders" out of my body would occur sometime this spring, but no go.
He said it will be this summer. I am bummed to say the least.

Well, hopefully I have answered any and all questions. I'd love to hear from you...whoever is still out there! I will leave you with a picture of my new and improved self...courtesy of one of my students. It's priceless! (I especially love my new "do")

XOXO
Joanne

Better late than never!

2009-10-08T19:56:00.009-04:00

I know it's been a LONG time since I've blogged, and I'm SO sorry! Truly, returning to work has been all consuming and by the time I think about the blog, I'm too tired to do much about it. I
finished radiation treatments about two weeks ago and I asked the therapist to snap my smiling face next to my "home away from home" for 6 weeks. I knew all of you would love to see where I spent so much time. I'm also going to share the cookies that I made for all of my therapists and the staff at the radiation center. I wanted to do something special for them, so I decided to recreate the radiation machine in cookie form! LOL I'm sure they had never seen a cookie quite like this before!
They are truly a very special group of people and they made a difficult time a lot easier. The weekend following the end of my radiation treatments I went to Chicago and stayed with my daughters Carly and Jessica. My sister flew in from Dallas, and my youngest daughter, Rachel, came up from college in Indianapolis. We all walked in the "Race for the Cure" in Grant Park. We had an amazing time, the only down side was that I came down with a horrible cold. Let me tell you though, I was actually glad to be PLAIN OLD SICK and not cancer sick...so there is a bright side to everything! :-) I have tons of pics from the walk, but will wait until the next post and show you some of my favs. I also have the most recent pic of me taken at school this morning. I thought you'd all like to see my hair "progress." It's coming in quickly and is now fuzzing out on the sides and in the back. I've tried to use gel to tame it, but it's no use. It's also wavy on the back of my head, but nowhere else. We'll just have to wait and see what happens next.

I have my next herceptin infusion on Monday and I have begun taking my "five year" medication, which along with the herceptin, will help stop the cancer cells from reforming in my body. Both of which are a WONDERFUL thing! Life seems to be getting back to normal and I for one am very glad. Now if anybody knows a way to keep chatty fifth graders quiet, please let me know. It's nice to be worrying about "normal" things for a change! :-)

Have great weekend!
xox
Joanne

Early to bed and early to rise...

2009-09-12T09:52:00.002-04:00

STILL makes me tired lol....but I'm trying! Whew! The first week of school/radiation is finally over. Thank GOODNESS! To be honest, the very first day was the worst. When I sat down to have lunch in the teacher's lounge, I wasn't sure if I would be able to get back up!! But I did, and somehow made it through the rest of the day. I then had to rush out of school to drive to radiation where they were waiting just for me. Since there are no appointments that late (since when is 3:45 late??) in the day, the therapists are taking turns staying late for me (yes, I do feel badly) so I feel the need to try and get there A.S.A.P. Believe it or not, I'm walking past the students in line waiting for the bus, and I'm out of the parking lot before they are! I think the week finally took its toll yesterday. I was moving pretty darn slow when I walked into the radiation center and even the therapist du jour remarked that I looked "tired." Really? No kidding? I wonder why? I think anyone with 24 wide eyed eager elementary students feels exactly the same way I do, and they aren't even going through cancer treatment! lolol That's just what the opening of school does to you! And as the saying goes, "This too shall pass."

Radiation is going well (as well as radiation can go I guess) and the only issue I've had is that I've broken out in a radiation rash, which they told me is common. I had tiny little red bumps in the area receiving treatment which reminded me of chicken pox. (no, I'm not showing you a pic of that!) It was extremely itchy!! They recommended cortisone cream and I raced to the local pharmacy and picked some up. It did help and I'm continuing to slather it on each day. Speaking of days...I only have SEVEN DAYS LEFT of radiation treatment! Everyone chant with me...HIP HIP HOORAY! I'm sooooooo looking forward to being finished with this part of my treatment.
Maybe things can get back to being semi normal for awhile.

FYI...I love my new fifth grade class and I am extremely happy to be back at school. I am so lucky to work with such a fabulous staff that continue each and every day to show me their love and support, as well as the many school families that have told me how happy they were to have me back. It means the world to me. Thank you SO very much to all of you.

Have a wonderful weekend...I'm planning on sleeping through most of it! :-)

xox
Joanne

Here I am world!

2009-08-26T15:39:00.004-04:00

I know it's not the best pic, but here I am! At least you will be able to see my full "coverage!" A long lost friend stopped by my classroom the other day and he's the one that took this. Thanks Scott...we sure do miss you around Riverside! (Notice that I now have eyebrows as well...I'm so proud!)

Check out my "ride!"

2009-08-25T16:02:00.003-04:00

My apologies for being MIA and not updating the blog. I have been super busy lately with school just around the corner...not to mention returning to work after 8 months away! YIKES! I also spent this past Sunday in a marathon day of driving to Indianapolis and back. We took Rachel back to college, got her moved into her sorority house, and spent the rest of the day buying out Target! Those of you that have taken a child to college know exactly what my day was like. For those of you that haven't reached that stage of your life yet...start saving your money now for move in day! LOL

I've now had 12 radiation treatments and so far so good. It's just stressful to be going and coming every single day, as well as getting there ON TIME! The treatment itself isn't painful, except keeping my left arm up over my head for 30 minutes isn't very "comfortable." Alas, I fear that the left side of my upper body will take quite some time to recover, and I've been told that it may never be the same. I will just have to adjust and get used to how it feels...or should I say how it DOESN'T feel since there is little sensation there. I have been asked quite often what the machine looks like that administers the radiation, so I thought that I'd let you see what it looked like.
Basically, I lie on my back on the bed of the machine. My body is kept in place by lying in a cradle that was molded to my body. I'm sent in, and the machine does the rest. I just lie there, sometimes listening to my iPod (it's broken now however) or just thinking about random things.
Today, I think I actually fell asleep for a little while because before I knew it, I was done! Remember the movie, "Ground Hog Day?" Where the exact same thing happens day in and day out? Well, that's exactly what this feels like. Same procedure, same people, just another day. But, this too shall pass. I am a little worried about teaching and receiving my treatment on the same day, but that won't happen until September 8, so I'll try not to worry about it right now. I will figure out a way to handle both at the same time. I may in bed at 6:00 PM but at least I'll get through it.

I now have 8 weeks worth of hair growth and everyone who sees me exclaims over how "LONG" it is. LOLOLOL I guess "long" is a relative term. I'm just happy that I'm no longer bald, so ANY hair to me is a welcome sight. I'll have to post a new hair pic soon.

Thanks for checking in. I'll try to not go so long before my next post.

xox
joanne

Is it me or is it noisy in here?

2009-08-14T08:35:00.009-04:00

I have three radiation treatments under my belt now and I can honestly say that after today (Friday) I will be ready for the weekend "break." It's not that the treatments are all that bad, it's just the grind of going every single day. There's no pain involved (thank goodness) but all in all the whole experience is a little odd.

When I was "mapped out" last week they made something called a cradle for me. Basically, it's a mat that I lie on every day that is molded to the upper half of my body with both of my arms extended up over my head. I use my right hand to hold onto my left wrist. That was a definite OUCH when they did this the first time as my left arm doesn't extend very much due to the surgery. But I've been doing stretching exercises at home and now, even after the third treatment, it goes into position much easier. Anyway, this cradle is waiting for me on the flat bed of the scanner when I get there and it's covered with a sheet. I lower myself into "position" and lie still. The room is freezing, but at least I can wear my pants! (use your imagination for the rest of me! lol) Yesterday I remembered to bring slipper socks and at least my feet were warm and toasty as well.

The techs then make sure I'm in the right position and line up my TATOOS (three tiny ones but permanent thank you very much) with a laser level (inquiring minds wanted to know how they knew I was in position...so I asked) and I'm ready to go in. The flat bed moves me into the unit (like an MRI machine for those that have had one) and scans me for several minutes to make sure everything is in the right position. Then I move back out of the machine, still lying in the cradle on my back, freezing, and wait. and wait. and wait. Finally a tech comes back into the room, pushes the button and I move back into the tunnel of the machine and the radiation begins. No, it's not like a laser light show, although that would be cool! Basically there is only a very loud noise from the machine which is constantly circling my body. I will be able to replicate that noise on demand (for anyone that would like to hear it) for the rest of my life. After about 15 minutes I come back out and that is the end of that.

I finally asked yesterday if I could wear an ipod while getting my treatment because nobody even mentioned that to me. I was told,"Yes, LOTS of patients do that." Well thanks for letting me know. Today I will have my ipod charged and ready to go. I'm taking suggestions for what to listen to.

As of today, the only side effect I've had is being tired. So what else is new?! I keep looking at the skin in that area to see if I'm glowing (kidding) but it looks the same to me. I'll keep you posted.

Have a wonderful weekend and thanks for checking in on me.

xoxo
Joanne

Hot Off the Press!

2009-08-10T15:57:00.003-04:00

The radiologist's office just called me and it looks like tomorrow is the day! My first radiation treatment will be at 2:20 and lucky me...my herceptin infusion is right before that at 11:00! At least I'll get them both over in the same day. Let the count down begin...only 35 more to go. Do you think I'll glow in the dark?

Ch Ch Ch Chia

2009-08-04T11:40:00.010-04:00

Wondering why the strange title? Well, take a look for yourself and then you'll get it.

There is a strange resemblance between my head and the ever popular Chi shown above! I do have a covering of "hair" on my head and it does stick out in strange directions. Thank goodness mine is not green and sprout-like but even that would be welcome at this stage of the game. I couldn't resist the urge yesterday to run a comb through it. OK I know that was silly, but I just wanted to go through the motions! I'm even using a pin point amount of shampoo on my head and lathering it up. LOL The bravest thing I did this week however was going out into public without my trusty bandana on my head. Steve and I ran errands on Sunday and I decided to go au naturel. I did take my baseball cap with me in case I chickened out, but in the end I walked all the way through the computer store and Trader Joe's market with just my growing fuzz. It seems I am making progress after all! :-)

Tomorrow I have my last "filling" at the plastic surgeon (THANK GOODNESS is all I can say about that) and Thursday I have my second visit to the radiologist and she will possibly map me out for treatments that hopefully will start next week. I also have my second herceptin infusion next week at camp chemo. All in all things are moving along and with my newly "sprouted" head of hair the only place to go is forward!

Thanks again for checking in and keeping me in your thoughts.

XOX
Joanne

Check out the progress!

2009-07-27T10:48:00.005-04:00

OK, I know it's not much to write home about, but at least I'm not bald as a cue ball any more.
It's actually more like fuzz but at this point I'm happy to have anything! My husband told me yesterday that it was actually "blowing in the wind!" LOLOLOL I'm thinking it's more like Ronald McDonald hair...you know the way his sticks out straight from the side of his head. It's still very uneven but there is a definite shadow everywhere. I examine it closely everyday and who knows, by the time school starts after Labor Day, there might be actually be full coverage. (even if it's just fuzz) I'll keep you posted...because I know inquiring minds want to know! :-)

Joanne has left the building...ok the house

2009-07-23T17:44:00.007-04:00

My how quickly three weeks pass by. Today is three weeks since my surgery and I know I must be on the mend because I was going stir crazy. I left the house alone for the first time this morning and took a short walk with the dogs. They behaved very well considering I was walking at a snail's pace. I also took another big step and drove myself to the grocery store, which is about a mile from my house. There had to be a first time, and I decided today was the day. I just got a few things that I needed and it felt good to be out in the world again. (I know, the grocery store isn't exactly the world, but to me it felt that way!)

I had my consultation this past Tuesday with the radiologist and she told me that I would begin radiation as soon as the plastic surgeon was done "filling me up." She explained that before radiation treatment can start, she needs to map out the places on my body that will be receiving the radiation. Once she maps the areas, I cannot be changing sizes which is why the plastic surgeon needs to finish what he is doing first. I spoke with him when I saw him on Wednesday to receive my second "filling." Hopefully after my third visit (next Wed.) we will be able to evaluate if I will need a fourth visit or not. I'm kind of hoping that we are DONE after next week. I also had my first infusion of Herceptin at camp chemo and I am happy to report that no side effects surfaced after the treatment. Turns out that my next infusion is not for three weeks...yeah! I also seem to be growing fuzz on my head! You really can't call it hair yet, but I'm happy to see whatever it is.

So all seems well with me and the universe. I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that it remains that way.

xox
Joanne

I think thank you's are in order

2009-07-21T10:51:00.018-04:00

Good morning everyone :-)

Well, a week has passed since I told all of you about the new "regime" lined up for me that will keep me cancer free. (yeah!) I can honestly tell you that I've ridden the roller coaster of emotions in the past week. In fact, you could say that at one point on my ride, the cart derailed, crashed, and burned. Yes, it was that bad. But....I've found my way out, and can honestly say that it was my family and friends (yes that means all of you) that helped me find my way back.

It seems unbelievable that my journey started only seven months ago. Boy, does it SEEM longer than that. What I thought was going to be my journey's end in a short amount of time, is now not to be. But that's ok now. I'm really not sure why I was chosen to travel this path. The reason may be clear one day, or maybe I'll never know. What I do know is how much I have to live for and that in itself is what keeps me going and brings me up when I'm feeling low. I think it takes a disease like cancer to make you think about priorities and what's important. It all boils down to what kind of person you are and how you choose to live your life. It's a good thing that I've always been a "glass half full" kind of person!

It's really hard to thank everyone who has helped me along the way. But I would like to try my best to thank:

1. EVERYONE that has been reading my blog and following my story
2. Family and friends that have left me words of encouragement on the blog
3. Friends who don't (or can't figure out how) to read the blog but STILL take the time to email
me to find out how I'm doing (you know who you are... and so do I! lol)
4. Friends that check in with me by phone instead of emailing
5. Friends that take the time to send me cards (LOVED the buff muscle guy I recently received)
6. Friends that bring YUMMY Pot Roast (complete with homemade cookies and bags of choc!)
and Chicken Enchilada dinners...right to my house!
7. Friends that take time from their busy lives to pick me up and drive me to the doctor (XOXO)
8. Daughters that call frequently, from far away (MA, CA, IL) to check in on how I'm feeling
9. Mothers and sisters that send a LARGE candy basket filled with nostalgic childhood goodies
(who remembers SKY bars Mallo Cups?)
10. Sisters who give up vast amounts of their own personal time to look after me! (What would I have done without St. Melissa?!)
11. Brother in laws that can be counted on for ANY and EVERY thing if I so need it
12. Mother in laws that send beautiful bouquets of flowers along with hand written poems and
father in laws that worry about me on a daily basis
13. Sister in laws that call all the way from ALASKA to see how I'm doing
14. Dear friends that have volunteered their time to help me get ready for the new school year
15. Friends from far away that send DELICIOUS home made goodies in to me in the mail
16. A husband that tries his best to take care of me and tries to do the million and one things
that I used to be able to do around the house by myself

I know that when I come back to read this, I will remember someone that I've forgotten to write down. But know that in my heart, you are remembered, and that's where it counts.

Each and every day it is because of all of you that I am able to continue to fight this fight. Thanks so much for always being there.

This afternoon I have my first consultation with the radiologist. Hopefully she will let me know when radiation can start, and I will let you know what she says. I also have my first infusion of Herceptin this afternoon which should take about 90 minutes. (only the first round will be this long)

Lots of love,
xox
Joanne

More highs and lows

2009-07-15T08:42:00.006-04:00

Oh where oh where to begin. First of all, post surgery recovery is going well. I was pretty uncomfortable for a day or two after surgery and I spent a week sleeping downstairs on the pull out (which isn't very comfy) since I couldn't walk up the stairs and I was sleeping sitting up anyway. Six days after surgery I had two of my four drainage tubes taken out (Yeah!) and each day I get a little stronger. After St. Melissa left, my husband, Steve, took over as my nursemaid as I'm still pretty much a lump on the couch. lol He has been doing a wonderful job cooking meals and keeping me hydrated along with anything else that I need. I also have "fuzz" on my head! :-) I'm now sleeping upstairs in Rachel's room and still sleep semi propped up, but it's all good...except for Cubby and Frankie hogging the bed!

I had a round of doctor's appointments this week starting on Monday. My dear friend Mary (from school) picked me up and drove me to my oncologist. This was my first visit with him since I had finished chemo. He examined me said I was doing well and then told us to meet him in the consult room. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to hear what he told me. (here comes the "lows") Even though I am cancer free (definitely a "high") in order to keep me that way, I must have my port put back in (surgically!) because I need to receive infusions of a drug called
"herceptin" for up to one year!!! I can honestly tell you that when he was telling me this, I was unable to process it. I just looked at Mary (thank GOODNESS she was there with me) and started to cry. Just when I thought the light was visible at the end of the tunnel, it turns out that it's just a dull glimmer. Herceptin is an antibody that targets Her2 Neu, a protein on the surface of certain breast cancer cells. Sadly, my cancer is Her2 Neu POSITIVE. :( Which means that taking this drug will prevent my cancer cells from reforming...which don't get me wrong is a GREAT thing! But I was unaware that this was an option for me, so it came out of left field and left me visibly upset. The infusions will be given every three weeks, except the first three, which need to be given three consecutive weeks in a row to make sure there are no reactions.

OK take a deep breath now. I KNOW it's a lot to take in. But as my mother told me, "Joanne, it's just an unexpected bump in the road, and it's a bump that will keep you CANCER FREE." Of course I said that I was planning on going back to school this Fall, and they told me that there was no reason why I couldn't. That's all I needed to hear. Herceptin is not like chemo. It does not keep hair from growing, or have any of the horrible side effects that chemo does. (Yeah...my fuzz can keep growing) It specifically targets the bad cells and keeps them from reproducing, which is a WONDERFUL thing!!

After the oncologist left the consult room, the physician's assistant came in and I told her how shocked I was to be told the news. Of course I asked why? She told me that nothing about my cancer journey has been "normal" or followed a regularly prescribed route. LOLOLOLOL Mary and I began to laugh, and Mary said, "She's EXACTLY like that a school, and always marches to the beat of a different drummer, why should her cancer be any different!!!!" Of course, those of you that know and love me know how true that is. Yes, I do love being an "ORANGE" person, but who knew that being orange would extend into cancer as well! (for those of you who are clueless...there is a personality test based on the colors blue, gold, green, and orange. When our school staff was "tested" lol I was the ONLY orange person on the staff!)

So, as someone special that I know says, "Onwards and Upwards!" I'll be darned (kids read this blog) if I've come this far, fought this long, to let this get me down now. I will do whatever it takes to get to the finish line. And I WILL be back at school this Fall...just watch me.

Today's appointment boys and girls is with the plastic surgeon where the process to "pump me up" (as our favorite Calif. governor would say) will begin. I also have a consult a week from today to begin my radiation. Is your head spinning? I know mine is! This is the immediate plan:

Port Replacement (back to hospital to have this surgically done in O.R. in a couple of weeks)
Weekly "pumping up" from plastic surgeon
Herceptin Infusion weekly for first 3 weeks, then every 3 weeks after that (back to camp chemo)
Radiation daily (yes I said daily M-F) for approx. 5 weeks (I'll let you know when that will start
after I see that doctor next Wed)

So dear friends, I still need you more than ever! With your love and support I've come this far and I will continue the fight.

All of my love to everyone reading this.
XOX
Joanne

Whoops, I've done it again!

2009-07-08T06:31:00.009-04:00

Hi everyone! I'm back among the living and recovering nicely from surgery this past Thursday.
Yes, the "third time WAS the charm!" The surgery took place as scheduled, although there was one brief moment where I panicked that it would NOT happen. After the epic road trip to California with Carly, I flew to Dallas for two days to stay with my sis (then she would fly back to MI with me for surgery.) We were inside a Crate and Barrel Store and my husband called to say that I needed to call Dr. Kirby's (my surgeon) office right away! They had phoned and left a message on our answering machine. OK, my sis and I gave each other the panic look and did think, "Oh no, not again." I phoned the office only to find out that surgery had been backed up by 45 minutes. Whew!! We reported to the hospital at 7:15 and they were wheeling me in to the O.R. by 8:30. When I came out THIS time...the girls were gone, and I had had these rubbery strange tubes coming from where they used to be! I guess I was REALLY out of it because I kept telling EVERYONE I spoke to about a cramp in my left leg...multiple times! LOLOL Well, it must have hurt! I spent the night in the overnight ward and was the only patient there, with two fabulous nurses at my beck and call. One of them asked me, "Do you like chocolate?" LOLOL You know the answer to that one! She continued, "I know where I can find us some in the hospital!" And she was off. She appeared a short time later with mini candy bars of all kinds, and I did eat one right away. Chocolate can make anything feel better I figured!

I went home Friday morning about 10:30 and settled into the downstairs pullout bed. There wasn't any way I would be able to navigate the steps upstairs to a bedroom. My sister assumed the position of head nurse, water/food nazi, exercise director (JOANNE...you need to walk three times around the family room, after you take the 20 steps to the bathroom! Never mind that those 20 steps seemed to take me an hour to get to the toilet!), and most importantly...the chief drainer of "THE TUBES." (said in a deep and ominous voice) What the heck ARE these things?
They are sutured to my chest, two on each side and are approximately two feet of long rubbery tubing that end in plastic grenade type "thing." I have named them Lucy, Ethel, Ricky, and Fred! The "grenade" is where the "stuff" drains from the surgery and all four have to be emptied and measured twice a day then entered onto a chart, so inquiring minds (not me) will know their output. LOL Like ANYONE would want to know this! Anyway, my sister, Melissa,has done ALL of the above and MORE on a daily basis since I've come home. In my opinion, she is a SAINT (never mind that we are Jewish...she still qualifies for Sainthood) But nothing that Saint Melissa had done, could prepare her for what she would have to do this past Monday. (You'll understand in a minute why a Jew should be granted Sainthood)

I got up Monday, feeling good and drank some tea and had a piece of toast. I thought, "You know, I'm feeling pretty darn good, I should take a shower today!" Since I hadn't had one in four days, my family was appreciative.(the dogs didn't seem to mind) My sis helped me upstairs to the bathroom, turned on the water, and helped me into the shower. OHHHHHH did that shower feel good! I even turned the warm water up a little. (which will turn out to be a bad idea) My sis stayed in the bathroom while I let the warm water wash over me. I told her, "This feels GREAT! I should have done this a few days ago." I realized I couldn't stay in there forever, no matter how wonderful it felt, and I turned off the water. That's the last thing I remember Blog fans! Remember my little "episode" in the snow this past winter during chemo?? Yes, fans, I fainted dead away in the shower! I've done it again!

I have no recollection of ANY of this, so I'm just reporting what my sis told me. But, she went to hand me a towel, and she said that she could tell from the look on my face that I was "going down." Luckily she got her arm around my back and helped to lower me rather than have me go crashing down. (Hey, there was no snow this time to cushion the blow) OK, I know this is not a pretty thought, but picture my sis, standing over this wet, naked, bald, boobless wonder lying unconscious on the bottom of the tub and getting no response. I scare myself just looking at the bald and naked part! (Are you seeing now where automatic Sainthood needs to be granted to someone who has done what she has done?) Apparently, she kept tapping my face and calling my name, but I was in that faraway place and didn't really hear or feel anything. After several attempts I heard her and came around, but only for a few seconds, and I passed out again. This happened a total of three times before she was able to rouse me. I managed to get to my knees and out of the tub.

When I was finally out of the tub, she sat me down on the toilet. That didn't last long though, as I proceeded to pass out one more time! Somehow after that, she moved me to my daughter Rachel's bed, and phoned the doctor. They said, "UMMMMM NOT normal, get her to the E.R." NO KIDDING...fainting four times in less than 15 minutes isn't normal???? Thanks! That will be $500.00!

My sister phoned my husband, he came home from work, and they both got me downstairs, and into the car. Back to the hospital. I was checked thoroughly: EKG, Blood Sugar, Chest Xray, and Blood Pressure. Turns out my blood pressure was REALLY low 87/55 and they started pumping me with fluids. After several hours there, and seeing a multitude of doctors (some so young they looked like Doogie Howswer! One did confide to me it was his very first day in surgical rotation and he was a third year med student, so only a STUDENT doctor, not a REAL one) they decided it was safe for me to go home. All my tests came back normal and my blood pressure was back to where it should be after all the fluids they gave me. The only thing they could come up with was that since I was dehydrated and in a warm shower (OK a slightly WARMER shower than my sis started for me) it made me dizzy and down I went.

Moral of the story: Do not take a warm shower several days after surgery, keep hydrating yourself until you feel like you are floating, and most importantly DO NOT SHOWER ALONE! ;)

Where do I submit my application to the church for our newest Saint? Saint Melissa Day will now be celebrated every year on July 6! St. Patrick's Day will never hold a candle to this one! Everyone raise their water bottle to my sister!

xox
Joanne

Today's the Day!!

2009-07-02T06:28:00.003-04:00

Hi Everyone :-)

I know I've been a serious slacker once chemo finished! The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind. Rachel packed up and left to be a camp counselor in Mass. and I survived a cross country trip with Carly to Los Angeles! I'll have to write all about the trip when I have more time.

I returned to Michigan via Dallas with my sister, Melissa, in tow. She will be with me for the next week helping with post surgery "stuff." My surgery is this morning at 8:15 at the Alice Gustafson
section of St. Joe's Hospital and will last approximately 6 hours. YIKES!! Since I'll be in la la dream land, I'll be counting on all of you for positive thoughts and prayers. I know I will come through this and am looking forward to being cancer FREE!!

Well, my P.J.'s are packed, as well as my Ipod (I'll be spending the night at the hospital) and I'll see all of you on the other side of this.

I love you all, thanks for traveling on this journey with me.

xox
Joanne

Repeat after me...

2009-06-09T15:26:00.005-04:00

I AM DONE WITH CHEMO!!! :-)

Wow, does that sound good! Hard to believe that it was January when I began. Snow was everywhere (remember when I fainted in my backyard in the snow!) and now the sun is shining and the grass is green. The chemo chapter ends today and the surgery chapter will begin in 21 days. (once again, I'm counting) I do have to head back to camp chemo on Monday for a check up and I will also see my plastic surgeon that same day. What are my plans for the upcoming 21 days? Well, I'm taking a ROAD TRIP! You all know that my daughter Carly graduated several weeks ago and even though she did graduate she has one class left to take and the class is in Los Angeles! La La land, home of Rodeo Drive and the excessively rich and beautiful people. She will be taking a four week class at Raleigh Studios.

(Raleigh Studios is the longest continuously operating studio in the country. Raleigh's entertainment companies comprise the largest independent studio and production support operation in the Nation. Not bad, huh?!)

Since she needs to get to Hollywood, I have volunteered to be her co-captain in what is sure to be the road trip of the century! lol Hey, I just need to get the "heck out of here" before I'm once again tied down from surgery, recovery, and radiation (EVERY day for 6 weeks). Besides, what's a mom for! :-) Stay tuned to the blog where I will report from the road (hopefully).

Also in the works for the next 21 days is my youngest daughter, Rachel, leaving to the Berkshire mountains in Mass. for her summer job as a camp counselor, and my oldest daughter, Jessica, coming home for my surgery and then a friend's wedding. No rest for the weary (in this case chemo weary lol)

So dear friends, one chapter ends, and another begins. But isn't this what life is about? Thanks for your continued support and love. I could NOT do this without any of you.

XOX Joanne

Only one treatment left!!!

2009-06-04T09:12:00.003-04:00

Hello All!

I can now say: ONE MORE CHEMO TREATMENT TO GO!!!!!!! WOOO HOOO!!! Sorry, just a LITTLE excited! :-)

It was fairly quiet at camp chemo this past Tuesday. By 11:00 the morning "gang" had left, and the afternoon "gang" hadn't showed up yet. I looked up at one point and it was just me and one other camper down on the other side of the room. In a very strange turn of events, there was a woman getting treated next to me when I first arrived, and her husband was keeping her company. We began to chat (doesn't take much to get me started lol) and it turned out that he had been the principal of MY elementary school for a very long time and retired the year before I began there! HOW STRANGE IS THAT! Of course we knew many people in common and it made the time go by quickly. When they finally got up to leave, I realized that the woman had been DONE with her treatment and they had just stuck around to talk with me. It was an absolute pleasure to talk with them, and it IS a very small world!

I also wanted to share a lovely poem that my sister sent to me, I think you will like it.

I Will Wear Pink

With pride

In celebration of those who have won their battle

Looking forward to the future, when one day we will find a cure

Living well, Loving much, and Laughing often

With excitement over the advances we have made

Eagerly awaiting the advancements yet to come

Always

Remembering those that we have lost

Promising to show my support

In honor of all of those currently fighting the battle

Never giving up….

Knowing that There Is Hope!

Hope that put a smile on your face...I know it did on mine!

Have a great week!

xox

Joanne

Race For The Cure! :-)

2009-05-31T09:17:00.029-04:00

*warning...long story, but REALLY worth it! So get your cup of coffee, settle in, and enjoy! (lots of fun pics at end of entry)

I woke up yesterday morning around 7:00 and went through my usual routine. Turned on the tv, fed the dogs, and made myself some tea. As usual, I had the channel 4 action news turned on (they are my favorite) and I listened while I busied myself in the kitchen. I heard the news reporter say that he was broadcasting from downtown Detroit where "Race For the Cure" was taking place that morning. What?!! Race For the Cure?? I had heard of the "Three Day Breast Cancer Walk" but didn't even know that today's race was going on. How could that be?? I've been sitting in chemo now every week for 10 weeks (not to mention Round 1 which started in January) you would think that somewhere along the way I would have heard about "Race For the Cure!" But I hadn't, so I turned and watched the newscaster for more information. Then he said the magic words, "There is still time to register for today's walk, some come on down and help fight breast cancer." Well, that's all I needed to hear! Being the impulsive person that I am (who me?) I got dressed, printed off directions to downtown Detroit (sorry, don't go there much) and jumped in the car! Half way down I-75 I did think, "am I crazy?" But I answered myself with a resounding YES...and kept driving. (absolutely no surprise to those that know and love me!) I felt compelled to be there. I know I'm not alone in this battle, but sometimes it feels like I am, and I just wanted to be with others (ok THOUSANDS) that knew how I felt. I had no idea the emotions that were going to come from this experience. But I was soon to find out.

After I parked the car, I started walking toward Comerica Park (where everything started) and all I could see was a "sea of pink" flowing down the streets. There were people everywhere! Two ladies passed me in the street and I asked them if I was going the right way. (nobody wants to get lost in Detroit) They took one look at me and started hugging me tightly (this was going to be happening a lot) and pointed me in the right direction. I found my way to the registration table, filled out the form, and paid my money. (proceeds go to Susan G. Komen foundation) I then proceeded to pick up my race number and tshirt. Now, survivors were supposed to get a pink tshirt, while everyone else received a white one. But considering how late I registered (like two seconds ago) I was told there were no pink shirts left. I said no problem and was about to walk away when a volunteer from behind the table came running over with a pink shirt! She said that it was THE VERY LAST ONE but it was a size small. Hmmmm...small and I have never been mentioned in the same sentence, but she told me to take it along with the white one. And I did and just draped it over my shoulder. I proceeded to walk around the giant lot in front of Comerica Park where booths were set up, freebies were getting handed out, and every kind of "PINK" piece of apparel was on sale. (I even saw dog collars with the breast cancer ribbon on them. (No, I refrained from buying one. But I did consider it! lol)

I headed over to where the race was starting on Woodward Avenue. It was a massive sea of humanity. It was standing room only and you were standing shoulder to shoulder. Now, by this time you have to know that I was standing there bald for the world to see. You see, my nose started running and I had no tissues. So I did the only thing an inventive person would do (no, I didn't wipe my nose on my sleeve) I took my bandana off and used that instead. Hence, my shiny bald head for THOUSANDS to see! Well, that's all it took. The rest of the race (walk) I was approached over and over again. People asked me my story and I gladly told them. I met the most amazing people, and they all showed me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I even received gifts from strangers. The first gift came from another survivor in a pink tshirt. She overheard me when someone asked me why I wasn't wearing my pink shirt. (remember...size
SMALL!) She approached me and said the shirt she was wearing was a large and she would gladly change shirts with me, as hers was too big. People suddenly formed a human "dressing room" around the woman to shield her, and she took off her shirt in the middle of Woodward Ave. to give it to me. I was so touched. I immediately put on MY pink shirt.

I was also given a pink rose by a man that walked over to me and said, "God Bless" and while I was walking another man gave me a beautiful bookmarker (which I can really use) with photos he had taken from Bryce Canyon in Utah which also had an inspirational poem written on it. It was such an emotional morning I really can't even put it into words.

The highlight of the walk however, had to be when I turned and saw my favorite channel 4 news anchors walking right behind me! Rhonda Walker and Guy Gordon. There they were... dressed in pink and walking to support the fight against breast cancer. I approached Rhonda for a picture
(I really do watch her every day!) and instead, she hugged ME!! I told her how I had seen the news that morning (channel 4 of course) andjumped in my car to come down. She called Guy over to tell him my story. I was overwhelmed to say the least and started tearing up. It turns out that the whole thing was recorded by the camera guy and I wound up being on the channel 4 news last night! Ahhh the hilights of fighting breast cancer :-) (well, there have to be SOME good things)

I also want to mention (for all my Riverside Elem. friends) that towards the second half of the walk, I looked to my left and saw my old friend Dana Gorman! (for non school blog readers she was the speech teacher in our building but went to a new school district several years ago) I was shocked and yelled over "DANA GORMAN!" She looked over, but had no idea who I was. In her defense, it is hard to recognize a bald woman in pink that you haven't seen for years. I said, "It's JOANNE SHEIMAN!" I got the puzzled look that I'm now used to getting and then she flew over to give me a hug. We have not been in touch and she had no idea that I had been diagnosed. She told me that her family has been participating for 17 years (sorry Dana if I got the number wrong) as her Aunt had passed away from B.C. many years ago. I walked with her family the rest of the way. THANKS Dana and Family! :-)

I happy to report that I completed the 5K walk (3.5 miles), took lots and lots of pictures, and have enough memories now to last a lifetime. I plan on joining The Race For The Cure for many years to come (next year I'll pre-register lol) and hopefully some of you reading this will join me.
Together WE CAN make a difference.

Enjoy the pics!

xox
Joanne

Had to include this pic...BALDIES UNITE!! :-)

There was LOTS of entertainment along the way...this was just one of the groups. I loved their outfits!

Me and the Channel 4 Action News team! Guy Gordon and Rhonda Walker!
Dana and me! It was SOOO good to see her!

GRRRREAT NEWS!

2009-05-28T15:58:00.002-04:00

I had my appointment with my surgeon this morning, and I've been scheduled for my surgery!
I'm really excited (well, as excited as someone facing a bilateral mastectomy can be) that the next phase of recovery can begin. The only downside is that my surgeon said I will need to have radiation after the surgery which will be daily for 6 to 8 weeks! (each session is only 10-15 minutes, Mon-Fri, and I will be able to be back at school in the Fall!)

This is the next time line in my life. My surgery will be Thursday, July 2. I need to be at the hospital at 6:30 a.m. and the surgery will be 4-6 hours. When the surgeon is finished, the plastic surgeon will then step in and begin the reconstruction. When the plastic surgeon has completed what he needs to do (in about 4 weeks) then I can begin radiation. WHEW!! And I thought showing up at camp chemo once a week for 12 weeks was tough! But a gal's gotta do what a gal's gotta do...you know?

If all follows the plan, then by the end of September I should be finished. That will be just just about ten weeks short of the day that I was diagnosed. Quite a year. But in the end, worth everything that I've been through to be able to continue on my life's journey :-)

Today, I am a happy camper.

xox
Joanne

Back to Reality

2009-05-26T08:05:00.011-04:00

Hope everyone had a relaxing Memorial Day Weekend. It was a looong weekend for me, not much going on, although I did manage to finish yet another book. I also attended the local Parade yesterday and saw lots of familiar faces which was fun. Didn't do any barbequing either, the grill broke, and things just didn't work out. :-(

Today it's back to reality. I have a doctor's appointment at 1:30 and then it will be right into camp chemo for my treatment. I also have my appointment with my surgeon on Wednesday, hopefully she will be able to schedule my surgery after that appointment.

I am looking forward to the American Cancer Society's "Relay for Life" which is taking place at my local Middle School in a couple of weeks. Here are the details:

June 13th, 10 a.m. - June 14th, 10 a.m.
Pierce Middle School
Waterford, Michigan

Walk as little or as much as you can...
The goal is to have at least 1 team member walking the whole 24 hours.

This will be Waterford's 2nd year having Relay for Life in our town. Last year they knocked the socks off of the American Cancer Society by earning over double their intended goal!

It's one day - 24 hours. You can choose to stay at Pierce the entire time, walking sporadically, walk 1-2 hours on Saturday, stay all night in our base camp, come early Sunday morning....the choice is up to you. Our goal is to have 1 person from our team walking at all times...each taking turns during the 24 hours. There are no 'relay police'...however, cancer doesn't take a break so neither will our team. There are family activities for little ones during the day. We'll have our own base-camp with supplies, bedding, food and such. You can contribute as little or as much as you would like to it all.

Survivors: If you or someone you know survived cancer, please tell them about this event. They will want to participate in the opening ceremony, at least. This is to honor them and their loved ones

Key Times to know....
10:00 a.m. Relay for Life Kick-off - Cancer survivor victory lap
10:00 p.m. Luminaria - hundreds, thousands of lit candles with messages to love ones written on them incircle the track.

Can't walk, but want to donate?
1) Donate online to our team...click the link below and search for the team name Riverside Racers.

2) Purchase luminaria bags - $10/each. Decorate the bag in honor of your loved ones. Bags are displayed around the track at the luminaria ceremony Saturday night.

Everyone knows someone who is affected by cancer. Everyone walks for a different reason. Who will you relay for?

I've signed up to be a member of the team from my elementary school and can't wait to walk the "survivor's lap." Anyone reading this from Riverside Elementary that would like to join us is WELCOME! I'd love for you to walk with me. Please go to this link, and you can register online.

www.relayforlife.org/waterfordmi
Team: Riverside Racers

On the homepage, look at the sidebar on right that lists "Top Participants." At the bottom of that box click on "View Participants" and scroll way down to the bottom of the list, and click on Riverside Racers. You will see our page and you can join or donate here.

*Questions or additional information can be answered by Shannon Wikle (Team Captain) at
248-568-5940 or email her at : shannonwikle@aol.com

I'd LOVE to see you there, and welcome the support of EVERYONE to fight this deadly disease.

xoxo
Joanne

Carly's documentary is complete!

2009-05-19T19:53:00.004-04:00

I'm home from Chicago and Carly's graduation was amazing! There were so many amazing things that we stuffed into an action packed weekend that I'm not sure where to even start. Yes, I do! Besides the graduation itself, another highlight was getting to see Carly's completed documentary on...me! She and her friend worked extremely hard on this production and I viewed it for the first time on Friday evening during the "Senior Showcase" which highlighted the works of graduating seniors. I viewed it on the big screen in one of the auditoriums on campus along with the works of other students. Of course my family could hardly wait for Carly's film and we were not disappointed. There wasn't a dry eye in the house, and when we got up to leave, the lady sitting in front of us recognized me (hard to miss lol) and she applauded me. (more crying on my part) I am extremely proud to present the documentary here for all of you to see. It's only five minutes long and I would advise you to have a tissue handy. Enjoy it and pass it on to every woman you know!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Q0-zA21RkM

P.S. Chemo yesterday went just fine. My friend Margaret Risser kept me company and we never stopped talking for three hours straight. Thanks Margaret for keeping my mind occupied! :-)
(Only three more treatments to go!)

xox
Joanne

I'm still here!

2009-05-14T16:47:00.003-04:00

Sorry I haven't updated recently, I'm still here and doing well. I'm looking forward to only FOUR more treatments and then surgery. I've actually been really busy (well, as busy as someone at home can be) getting ready to go out of town tomorrow. My daughter, Carly, is graduating from Columbia College in Chicago, and we are headed there in the morning. I've rescheduled chemo for Monday at 2:00. (we are getting home late Sunday night) and the following week I'll have to go in for my treatment on Tuesday, as that is Memorial Day weekend and chemo will be closed on Monday. (I don't think cancer takes a long weekend...but I know that the hard working nurses and staff at camp chemo deserve the break)

I had a VERRRRRRY exciting day today. I was able to go to my elementary school to participate in the assembly they had to honor the entire school for becoming a "Michigan Exemplary Blue Ribbon School." Yes...it IS as big a deal as it sounds. We are SOOOO proud!! The best part of the day was walking into my classroom to see my students. I surprised them (I was just sure someone would call to say it was a mistake and I couldn't come) and boy were they SURPRISED!
They flew over in about 5 seconds flat and I was getting the best hugs in the world. In fact, it was hard to get through the school without hugs coming from all directions. It sure did feel good to be missed! :-) :-) I did bring my camera, but I didn't take one picture. lol I was too busy saying hi and hugging people. It was a GREAT afternoon!

I'll check back in after Monday to let you know how I'm doing, but just know that after my visit to school today I'm feel PRETTY DARN GOOD!

xox
Joanne

The END is in sight!

2009-05-05T11:07:00.002-04:00

I just had a call from my surgeon's office. My surgeon wants to see me again since the end of chemo is getting closer. Once I have this appointment she will schedule my surgery! Hooray! My appointment is at 9:15 on May 28. This is the best news I've had in awhile. I finally feel like there is going to be an end to this journey.

xox
Joanne

LIVE from NY...only kidding

2009-05-01T10:47:00.003-04:00

Broadcasting live from camp chemo! I am actually sitting in my recliner right now waiting for the labs to send up the results for my blood tests. (they do this every week before starting the chemo) If I haven't mentioned this before, they are very high tech here at camp. Each recliner has their own computer screen which allows the "camper"to access the internet, watch tv, or choose from a wide assortment of movies. All for your infusion pleasure. :-) Actually, it does make the time go by very quickly if you haven't brought a good book. (which I am rarely without...today I brought Brisingr by Christopher Paolini)

I'm also happy to report that today makes treatment #7, only 5 to go! Then on to surgery. (we'll deal with that later) The sun is shining here in Michigan (yeah!) and two weekends from now I'll be headed to Chicago to watch my daughter Carly graduate from college. :-) (I'll have chemo the Monday after I get back) So all in all life is good.

Have a wonderful weekend. Get out and enjoy the sunshine.
xox
Joanne (still trying to get my water in every day...I'm just not much of a drinker. Unless
I'm headed out after work for adult beverages!)

Back among the living

2009-04-29T13:08:00.002-04:00

Hooray! I feel like myself today. Well, I feel like the "myself" of the last four months...but I'll take it! :-) I'm just glad that these spells of not feeling well have been few and far between. Let's keep it that way. I'll keep it short and sweet today... just thought I'd let you know that I'm up and around again. Happy Wednesday.
Joanne

You can't win them all

2009-04-28T12:11:00.004-04:00

I consider myself lucky that lately there really hasn't been any adverse reactions to my second round of chemo. As a matter of fact, after all these weeks of taking Taxol (round 2 drug) I figured my body had "accepted" it. Yesterday I started to feel bad, and by the end of the day I knew that I was not going to be my normal happy self. I can honestly say that I was experiencing the worst possible headache in the history of my life (and that's a long time!) and my stomach wasn't feeling that great either (so no food for me) I spent the entire afternoon and early evening lying on the couch listening to the tv (volume turned way down) and by 7:00 pm I had enough and went upstairs to lie on the bed. I lay quietly for quite awhile and who knows when, I thankfully fell asleep. This morning my headache is still lingering but not nearly as bad (yes, I've been taking something for the pain) but I still really don't feel like myself. I did put in a call to the nurses at camp chemo this morning and since I have no fever they felt safe to say it wansn't the flu (thank goodness) but if I'm not feeling better later today they wanted me to call back.

I'm just going to lay low the rest of the day and wait for my head to stop throbbing. Thanks to everyone that continues to check in on me. This too shall pass.

xox
Joanne

Hair today....gone tomorrow

2009-04-22T09:30:00.010-04:00

Happy Wednesday everyone! Chemo this past Friday went well. It felt strange at first arriving by myself, but all in all it was a positive experience. I brought a book with me and had the pleasure of just sitting and reading uninterrupted for a couple of hours. (what could be better!) Since I'm no longer getting my benadryl, I'm staying awake the whole time and it's nice to just sit are relax with a good book. (I'm currently reading "Little Dorrit" by Charles Dickens. It is a mini series on PBS, but I didn't know it would take WEEKS to finish and I got impatient to find out what happened, so I'm reading "ahead!" Shhh don't tell)

I've been feeling alright, no major side effects to write home about, except one. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly lose any more hair (I'm bald already so what else is there?) it seems that I'm destined to be eyebrowless. (OK I made that word up...but you know what I mean) I noticed a couple of weeks ago that my eyebrows seemed to be thinning out (and I wasn't even plucking them! lol) so I've been keeping a wary watch on them. Lo and behold in the last few days they have all but disappeared. There are a few stray hairs clinging for dear life, but it kind of reminds me of a man with a "comb over," and since I refuse to draw on scary eyebrows with an eyebrow pencil it is what it is. Even though it's scary to see...here's what I'm talking about.

WARNING: Seeing a close up of my dry skin can be hazardous to your health. Proceed with caution!

See what I mean?! The ones remaining seem to be clinging on for dear life! Well, even though they are few and far between I'm hoping the remaining hairs decided to stick around. If not, anyone have a stick on mustache that I can trim? (Yes, I'm getting the moisturizer right NOW!)

xox
Joanne (Happy to report that I've taken my coffee maker back out and I had a cup of coffee this morning.Life is good with caffeine again...eyebrows or no eyebrows)

Lori

2009-04-17T18:49:00.002-04:00

Lori (aka SugarBakerz) SOOOO SORRY I left you off :-( Thanks so much for keeping me in your thoughts. I couldn't do this without my friends and you are one of them! (I will plead chemo brain!)
I just wanted to let my CC friends know how much it means to me to have all of you still checking in on me. ALL of the support I receive helps me keep the positive attitude that I have. You are all very special to me. xox

Cookie friends :-)

2009-04-17T15:53:00.006-04:00

Hi CeRae,Tracy, and Jodi (aka SweetDreams, TrachLH, and Yankeegal!) Thanks so much for the sweet comments that you continue to leave me. It means the WORLD to me that my "cookie friends" are still thinking of me and checking on my progress. All of you put a huge smile on my face each and every time I read something from one of you. You guys are the best!!

Jodi...my cousin has invited me to her summer home in Maine in August. I'm shooting for enough of a recovery that I'll be able to go. I know Maine is a big place, and I'm not sure exactly where she is (I'll find out) or where you are...but I'm hoping I'll be able to make a side trip to a friend ;-) to say hello!

Lots of love to my CC friends
xox
Joanne

Is it aleady Friday? (again)

2009-04-17T08:31:00.002-04:00

Hi Gang :-)

It seems these posts get further and further apart. It's not because I don't want to talk with all of you, quite the opposite. Nothing much to say. The past week since camp chemo has gone fairly well. I had a day or two with some stomach problems and I just dealt with it until it passed. I'm wondering though if the stomach aches had something to do with not having the benadryl last Friday? I will ask them about that today while I'm there. (Yes, it's Friday again already! My how time flies!) Today will be Round Two, Visit 5. After today I have 7 treatments to go. (Yes, I AM counting) Today marks a milestone for me...I'm going to chemo ALONE. I figure it's about time.
Lots of people at "camp" are there by themselves and I decided that I'd give it a try. I'm sure all will go well. (I'll be sure to tell you if it doesn't lol)

On a non cancer note (which is always a good thing) the weather here in Michigan has FINALLY turned nice. I'm not holding my breath though because I'm sure it won't last. I have been enjoying it while it's here though. I've been walking my dogs every day. We went to the vet last week for routine shots and Cubby is 9 pounds over weight! (who's ever heard of a fat Australian Shepherd?!) We have changed her name to Chubby! Even little Frankie who only weighs 9 lbs could lose a few ounces the vet said! So walking we will go. It's not like the walking won't do me good as well! ;-)

Well, time to get ready for "camp." Have a great day, get out and enjoy the sunshine where you live!

xox
Joanne (my only beverages these days are water and Earl Grey Green tea)

Sleeping Beauty did not sleep

2009-04-11T11:05:00.003-04:00

Greetings everyone! :-) Round 4 yesterday went well except for the VERY long wait to actually get into camp chemo. I signed in at the office and had to wait at least 25 minutes to be called inside. The office was FULL of people waiting for their loved ones, but nothing compared to the actual chemo room. EVERY chair was filled but one, and that one would be mine. (this is a very sad reflection that so many people are in need of the services of this room) The nurses all seemed a bit flustered and were working even harder than usual. Lisa, my nurse, got things going for me, and I had Carly, the budding documentary maker, with me inside filming my every move. I can't wait to see this documentary that she is making with her friend Karen for a school project. She filmed IV tubes, blood being drawn, chemo chemicals dripping from the bag, you name it, she filmed it! It should be great. I will be posting her finished film here on the blog next month. (it will run a whopping five minutes after all of her editing) I'm sure we will all be waiting anxiously! :-) The best part of camp chemo yesterday was that I didn't fall into my benadryl coma because....I DIDN'T GET ANY! Hooray! When Lisa came by with the "sleeping potion" I rolled my eyes and made a noise under my breath. She very astutely said, "I don't have to give you the benadryl if you don't want it." WHAT!? Of course I don't want it, but I asked her why I'm given it in the first place. She told me it was to prevent reactions. (I have no idea WHAT kind of reactions) She then said that since I've had three rounds already, I would know if I had reactions and since I haven't had any at all, she felt it was safe for me not to take it. I said, "No thanks then!" and happily stayed awake talking to Jessica who had also come home with Carly for the weekend. Everything was finished by 1:30 (I get there at 10:30) and we left happily and for once I was not in a "fog" walking outside! Happy days, 4 down 8 to go! :-)

xoxo
Joanne (back to drinking Earl Grey Green Tea)

I love electricity

2009-04-09T08:17:00.002-04:00

Hard to believe it's Thursday already. I'm sorry I've been away for quite a few days but in reality, haven't had much to say! If you can believe this, we had a big snow storm, yes, I said SNOW storm here in Michigan this past Sunday evening. (wee hours of the morning) When I woke up Monday morning there were over 7 inches of snow and we had NO power in the house. UGH it was probably 50 degrees inside the house. For those of you that never experience these problems let me first say that it is NOT fun to be without power for any length of time. We have a well for our water (not the wishing well kind!) which is pumped into the house through pipes that run on...you got it...electricity. No power means no water! And that means no toilet flush either! Get the picture? No telephone (thank goodness for cell phones...but the battery lasts only so long...and then
NO charging your cell either) Let's just say that I sat around praying for the power to return. I wish that I had taken a picture of myself to show all of you how I was keeping warm. Hat on head, Hoodie over shirt with HOOD ON and tied! Scarf around outside of hoodie wrapped around my neck and pulled up to my nose, which was COLD. Sweat pants, socks, and my fur lined Crocs on my feet. Sitting under two thick blankets. Quite the sight. The good news is I spent the morning reading (what else was there to do) and I finished an entire book :-) The power eventually came back on at 2:00 P.M. It had shut off at 3:00 A.M. the previous night. Twelve hours without power. At least it wasn't as bad as last summer when the tornado blew through town (I'm not joking either) and we went DAYS without power. Is it better to lose power in the winter and FREEZE (at least you can bundle up and you don't have to empty your refrigerator into the garbage) OR is it better to lose power in the summer and know that you won't be cold
(but you WILL sweat to death in your sleep without the A.C.) and live out of an ice chest? I'll let you decide. I for one just feel lucky that right now I can flip a light switch and the lights turn on.

3 down 9 to go

2009-04-04T07:26:00.003-04:00

Treatment number three went well yesterday. In fact it was rather empty inside camp chemo (for a change) when I arrived. My blood was drawn and the report was back in record time. I arrived at 10:30 and the whole treatment was over at 12:45. That's a record! I'm usually there at least 3 hours. And since the benadryl continues to put me into a coma lol I was in and out in no time. When I arrived I noticed a woman with her husband sitting in the corner lazy boy (seems like EVERYONE wants to sit there. lol it's kind of like getting your favorite chair in the teacher's lounge at lunch. Hey...who's been sitting in MY seat next to Marcia :-) ??) Anyway, I could tell that the woman had been crying. Turns out it was her very first treatment and she was upset. One of the nurses, Lisa, asked if I wouldn't mind sitting next to her and talk with her a bit. I was only to happy to help. She actually recognized me as being at the "Feel Good Look Great" workshop a few weeks back with her. I gave her a big hug, and told her everything would be ok. We talked for awhile as she was getting her infusions and just maybe I helped her feel a little less nervous. I remember my first treatment and I was plenty nervous myself. The good news for her is that her B.C. was caught early and she only needs 4 treatments. I told her she'd be done in no time! :-) After we talked I told her about my benadryl comma and then Lisa came by and said, "Watch, I can make Joanne fall asleep in less than three minutes!" And she did! LOLOL I woke up to the beeping of the infusion machine an hour later letting me know I was done. At least time goes by quickly when your drugged! :-)

Tonight is the BIG game here in Detroit and even though I'm not a huge basketball fan I will be watching the game. And for all of my friends at school that went to State (are you listening
Jan H. ?) all I can say is, "GO GREEN GO WHITE!"

Have a great weekend everyone.
xox
Joanne (only drinking water these days)

Hanging in there

2009-03-31T17:11:00.004-04:00

Yes, I'm still among the living. I know it's been a few days since I've written anything so I wanted to assure everyone that I'm ok. I have been feeling slightly "under the weather" the last few days though. Nothing serious, but I had an ongoing stomach ache and headache that just stuck around for several days. I really haven't felt like eating anything but did eat boring foods like toast, oatmeal, and tea to get something in my stomach. Don't worry, there's no chance of me "wasting away to nothing!" lol I feel better today so I will just take the good with the bad.

The weather in Michigan is depressing to say the least. Sunday afternoon there were HUGE snowflakes flying around and Monday morning there was a very thin layer of snow on the ground. Thank goodness by Monday afternoon it was all gone! Now I know why people move to WARM climates! I for one am truly looking forward to Spring and warmer weather.

Nothing else exciting to report. So that in itself is good. Hope all of you are well. Don't fall for anything tomorrow...remember it will be April first!

xox
Joanne (drinking LOTS of water)

Short and Sweet

2009-03-26T17:07:00.006-04:00

Just thought I'd pop in to give you a quick update. I had an appointment this morning with my surgeon. This appointment had been made quite awhile back so I could "check in" with her. She was very happy with the way things were going and was surprised to hear I had already finished round one of chemo! (my how time flies when you're having fun) I asked her what my "plan" was and she told me that as soon as chemo is completed (end of May) then I will be ready for surgery(again) a few weeks later. She also told me that after the surgery is completed I will have radiation for six weeks. Ugh...still a ways to go...but at least things ARE moving along. I'm heading off to camp chemo tomorrow morning, I'll let you know if they induce a coma again! lol The only problem I've had this past week is a SERIOUS lack of sleep. Good thing you can't see me...I resemble a raccoon due to very large circles under my eyes. (NOT attractive)) I plan on talking to the nurse tomorrow about how to solve this problem. Other than that life moves on...hope you're having a great day.

xox
Joanne (I drank some coffee today from 7-11. It didn't taste good. Is it me or do they make bad coffee?

March Reading Month

2009-03-25T11:24:00.004-04:00

I told all of you in an earlier post about the PINK bake sale that was taking place last Thursday at my elementary school. The sale was a huge success and all proceeds are going to be donated to the Susan G. Komen foundation in my name. (what an honor!) My fourth grade class sponsored the bake sale and I want to say thank you to all of the families from Room 106 that took the time to bake, decorate, and send in such delicious looking treats. Thanks to all of you maybe breast cancer will cease to exist one day in the near future. These pink cookies were my donation to the sale, along with two dozen pink cupcakes. By the looks of the kids mobbing the bake sale table, I can tell that everyone went away with a smile on their face (not to mention a happy sugar high) *click on the last picture picture to enlarge it and read a special note from Zach and Jake :-)

As promised, I also have some AMAZING videos from school to share with you. My elementary school has been SO supportive of my ongoing fight against breast cancer that words cannot even express how I feel. They have been there every step of the way...including staff members, families, and students. Without their love and support, I know this would be a very different battle. They have made it possible for me to remain positive, when I didn't feel positive, and they have inspired me to do what I need to do, so I can return to school cancer free. Special thanks to my blog assistant, Carly (home on Spring Break) who helped me add these videos to the blog. (you really didn't think that I could this could you!)

The first video was shot at the opening ceremonies of "March Reading Month" when the entire school was getting motivated to READ FOR A CURE. (Be patient, the first 20 seconds of the video are bars and tones and the video starts right after that)

The second video was put together by Shannon Wikle, a mom of one of my current students. It touched my heart tremendously, and I know it will touch yours too.
Thanks so much Shannon for all of your hard work, I truly LOVE the video :-) I'm warning everyone, you should probably have a kleenex handy when viewing this, I know I needed one!

Chemo Coma

2009-03-22T07:53:00.004-04:00

Round two this past Friday went well. My appointment for chemo is usually at 10:30 on Fridays, but for some reason they scheduled me for later in the day and my appt. wasn't until 1:30. It worked out well however, because Carly was driving home from Chicago that morning, and she arrived in plenty of time to go with me. I always have my blood drawn the very first thing. They need to make sure that my blood counts are all withing the normal range before they can administer the chemo, and they were! So, the next thing they do is administer the drugs that will (hopefully) manage my side affects through an IV drip. This round there are four of those drugs. The last of those drugs given to me before the cheom drug (Taxol) was Benadryl.(sp?) I'm really not sure what it "manages" (yes...she did tell me, but to be truthful I can't remember what she told me)what I do remember is that she said it would make me sleepy. I said, "I'll be sleepy later?" She replied, "No, right now" and I said ok. Then she hooked up the Taxol. About one minute after the taxol began to drip, I looked at Carly and said, "I need to close my eyes now." The next thing I knew, the beeper on my IV drip was going off indicating that the drip was done, and it was ONE HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES later! I heard my nurse saying, "Wake up sleeping beauty, you're all done!" Make me SLEEPY??? lol I'd say it was more like a SEDATIVE!! It was like being in the O.R. and they are getting ready to put you to sleep and they say count backwards from 100, and the last thing you remember is saying 99!!! The good news is my time in camp chemo sure did whiz right by! :-) Maybe I should bring my pillow and blanket next Friday!

As far as how I'm feeling, I actually feel more like my old self. I was really tired when I got home Friday night, and went to bed early (even for me!) But yesterday I felt alright, and I went to the mall with Carly. My taste seems to have returned for the most part, so I'm hoping it sticks around. I had coffee at the mall and it was pretty darn tasty. I haven't noticed any side affects as of yet, so let's keep our fingers crossed. Even the weather here in Michigan has turned the corner. I think winter is finally a thing of the past. It seems that life is looking up and I for one am very grateful.

On another note, my elementary school had a VERY successful PINK bake sale (with all funds going to cancer research)and I for one baked up a storm for them. I have some fabulous pics of the goodies and the kids, and I will put them all into my next post.
I know you will enjoy seeing what went on.

Have a great week wherever you are, and I hope you can get out and enjoy the nice weather.

xoxo
Joanne (I had two cups of coffee in the last two days and I LOVED it!!)

P.S. Thank you so much to my friends Sandy and Mike Peterson, and the Riverside Student Council, who both gave me gift cards to BORDERS. I had a WONDERFUL time yesterday picking out some new reading material while I was at the mall, and to my surprise, it was "Educators Week" and I received an additional 25% off my purchases, even WITH my gift cards! Now THAT'S a fabulous gift!! Thank you SO much! :-)

An AMAZING gift

2009-03-18T15:33:00.008-04:00

It's Wednesday....my how time flies when you're feeling good. And I am! :-) No reactions and no problems. Life is good. Just counting down the days until I get my new round of drugs.

I had a visit yesterday from two wonderful families from my elementary school. Shannon Wikle (along with son Ben) and Alice Stoddard came by with a VERY special gift for me. To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I was completely overwhelmed by the gift they brought.
Apparently families at my school were asked to make and decorate quilt squares for me and the finished product was shared this past Friday at the school's weekly "Community Meeting." So yes...they all knew before me! (I'm always the last one to know anything anyway) Even my husband knew about it! It was such a special gift and so much love went into it, that I had to share it with all of you. And to anyone that is reading this that helped to make the quilt, all I can say is that I absolutely love it, and I will cherish it always. Thank you so VERY much for taking the time to make me feel so special.

From left to right: Ben, Shannon Wikle, me (as if you couldn't tell), Alice Stoddard
I'm holding a framed square that didn't make it onto the quilt due to the transfer beginning to peel. It's my ALL TIME favorite book character, Harry Potter. Many thanks to Chris Thompson for remembering his former teacher's favorite book!
In my family room, where Steve is trying to get the whole quilt in the picture. (no luck here)
You can see my ever growing collection of cards behind me. I enjoy looking at them every day.

Good job Steve! :-) Here is the whole beautiful quilt! I plan to take it to chemo on Friday, so be ready for another shot of it from there.

Inject MYSELF? You've got to be kidding!

2009-03-16T09:06:00.015-04:00

Happy Monday everyone! And an early Happy St. Pat's Day too! Rachel left yesterday to head back to Butler University in Indianapolis. (Go Butler Bulldogs in March Madness!) It was really nice to have her home for the week, and she sure did catch up on her sleep while she was here! ;-) (I love you Rach xox) I'm getting ready now for daughter number 2, Carly, to come home for HER Spring Break this Friday.

As far as my check up at the oncologist this past Friday, well, it was just as we had suspected. Without my white blood cell booster shot last Monday, my white blood cell count was practically non-existent. The range for a normal white blood cell count is between 3.7 and 11.0. Mine was a scary 0.9 Yikes!! (Last week it was 10.2) So, I was given a mini version of the shot I usually receive on Mondays following chemo. The only problem was that the doctor told me that I also needed the shot for two more days...that meant Saturday and Sunday when the office is closed. I was asked if I had ever given myself shots before. Uhhhhhh.....NO! The nurse asked if I had any "friendly diabetics" in the neighborhood that could help me out. None came to mind. But wait...I did have a very friendly NURSE right across the street! I would be saved from doing it myself. So, they sent me home with two "ready to be injected" needles in a bright yellow bag that said, "CAUTION CHEMO DRUGS." Great, this would probably be the time that I'd getting pulled over on the way home and the officer would see a bald headed woman wearing a pink bandana with syringes filled with drugs on her front seat. lol OK it COULD have happened! Anyway, on Saturday I walked across the street, syringe in hand, and my wonderful neighbor, Diane, did what she does best, and it was over in a second. She told me to come on back on Sunday, which I did! The other good news from my doctor visit was after examing me, he told me that I looked substantially better and the swelling was less. (those are the exact words he wrote down on my chart which I read the second he left the room...you know you would have done the same thing!) He gave me the ok to start the second round of chemo this Friday. I only hope the new drug will go as smoothly as the first round.

As promised, here are some pics from the Feel Good Look Great workshop that I attended last week with Rachel. Hope they put a smile on your face. (I have spared you all from the bald headed BEFORE pic and only posted the AFTER)

This is the bag of cosmetics that we spread all over our table.

This is a close up of the make up inside the bag for those of you that actually know what it is!

Here is the AFTER of me in short hair....although you can't see it very well due to Rachel doing her imitation of the Morton Salt Girl! :-)
Here I am outside in the sunshine with my short spiky hair. Who IS that woman behind the shades?
And last but not least, here's Rachel thinking that she looks cool in my pink bandana. Hey girl, leave the bandana for us bald headed chicks!

That's about it for now. Hope everyone has a great week. It's supposed to get into the mid 60 temperature range here in Michigan tomorrow! I'm excited for the warm weather. And for all my cookie friends out there (and they know who they are) I made cookies for Rachel to take back to her sorority friends. I'll post some pics of them tomorrow.

xoxo
Joanne (I was drinking Simply Lemonade which tasted good for two days. But all good things must come to an end...back to water)

Look Good...Feel GREAT!!!

2009-03-12T10:32:00.003-04:00

Hi everyone! Wondering where I've been? I've been busy "vegetating" with my daughter Rachel. lol She's home on Spring Break and I've enjoyed having some company to do nothing! :-) Earlier in the week however, she did accompany me to a wonderful event sponsored by the American Cancer Society. Several times a year they have an event called, "Look Good…Feel Better." It is a free, non-medical, national public service program which helps women offset appearance-related changes from cancer treatment. The two hour workshop was held in an administrative room at the hospital where I receive my treatment. The session included a skin care/make-up application lesson and demonstrations of options for dealing with hair loss. Not to mention the AMAZING make-up bag of "goodies" that included (according to Rachel) some REALLY GOOD
brands of cosmetics and moisturizers. (Bobby Brown, Chanel and Clinique to name a few) The voluneers that led the workshop were wonderful and included a local Nordstrom's make-up artist and a hair stylist/wig person (who was a cancer survivor herself). Many items such as wigs, hats, and scarves are donated to these sessions by former cancer patients who no longer have the need for these items and now wish to donate them to someone who can use them. I was only one of two people at the session without hair, so we were both used as "models" for the wigs. I had a very short and sassy wig put onto my head, and everyone at the session seemed to think that it was "me!" lol (If only they knew that my original hair was about ten times that long!) When the hair stylist was finished, she told me that I could keep the wig if I wanted it! So I did! Now I will really keep people guessing when they see me around town. Wait, didn't she have chin length hair the last time I saw her? No, she had NO hair the last time I saw her. Wait, I saw her with a short spiky hair cut! LOL Are you SURE that's her???!! I'll just leave everyone wondering and enjoy whatever hair I'm wearing at the moment. :-)

I do have some pics of the workshop, but unfortunately they are on Rachel's camera, and she hasn't transferred them yet to my computer. (I'll get on her about that today) Then you can let me know how you like my new short hair. Many thanks to the American Cancer Society for hosting such a wonderful event. I really did feel GREAT when I left.

I'll be having my weekly check up tomorrow. Without my "booster" shot this past Monday, I'm hoping that my blood cell counts will be ok. The good news is there have been no reactions this week and no passing out in the snow (which would now be frozen mud) so this is a good thing.
I did have some taste return yesterday which was welcome. Steve and I ventured out to Whole Foods and I happily worked my way through the samples located throughout the store. (some tasted better than others, but I still tried them all...you never know what will work!)

The weekend is upon us, and I hope that everyone has a good one.

xoxo
Joanne (drinks I've tried this week: FUZE Raspberry (NOT good!), OJ, Apple Juice, and Earl
Grey tea. But sticking to water...how boring)

So many uses...

2009-03-07T09:21:00.012-05:00

Watching television. While knitting. Watching a soccer game. While reading. And now we can add to the unlimited uses of the Snuggie. Wear it while having chemo! Every patient should have one. No need to withdraw your arms to expose them to a cold chemo room while the nurse draws your blood. Imagine the feeling of warmth you will experience while comfortably sitting in your recliner while getting infused. The possibilites are endless for the cancer patient :-) Buy one today and you will get an additional Snuggie free. But wait, that's not all, as a special gift you will also get a free bonus book light with page illuminating LED light. (excellent to have on hand if the hospital lights go out!) All for the amazing price of $19.95.

See... that big 'ol nasty shot of drugs doesn't look so bad when you're wrapped up nice and warm inside your Snuggie!

It's so warm and snuggly inside my Snuggie! :-) You can even share it with friends...it's large enough for two!
Don't they look happy inside their Snuggie! :-)

LOLOL I don't think I'll give up my day job and enter the world of infomercials. The above mentioned Snuggie arrived in the mail on Thursday, from nonother than Carly. Our family has had an ongoing joke about this new "sensation" (using term loosely here) and in reality think it's the dumbest thing we've ever seen. Which is why I was surprised to see one sent to me. So the burning question I had for Carly was, "What on earth made you buy one of these things?" The answer my friends is simple if you consider that it involves not only Carly but Jessica, who are 21 and 23 respectively. I'll let you think about this for a moment and see what you can come up with. Times up. So I'll tell you. Apparently "Snuggies" is sponsoring a nationwide " PUB CRAWL"
(if you guessed something about alcohol you were right) in selected cities in the country and Chicago is one of them. In order to even get into the bars, you need to be wearing (you got it) A SNUGGIE!! Now I have definitely heard of every use for this ridiculous item (and you thought wearing it to chemo was funny...I did!) I can only imagine a bar full of Snuggie wearing adults bellying up to the bar drinking their favorite adult beverage. I can only hope that people drink sensibly and do not spill anything on their Snuggie. I'm afraid if they wash it, it will dissappear into the bowels of the washer and dryer. It has the consistency of a glorified airport blanket and I have yet to put it on without static electricity erupting everywhere, and it does a magnificent job at attracting dog hair. Wait...it really DOES have other uses. LOL

Anyway, I knew you would enjoy these photos from camp chemo. I was accompanied again by my dear friend Terry, as well as our other dear friend Nancy, who drove all the way from the other side of the state to go with us. (Now that's a true friend xoxo) The last visit of round one went by without anything to write about...which is a good thing. I'll visit the office next week for my blood count check up and they will tell me then when round two will begin.

One last pic to leave you with. This one is for you Lisa (my friend down in the Big D) I wore your shirt to camp chemo and everyone smiled when they read it. I continued wearing it the rest of the day and I believe I got extra smiles from people in the grocery store as well. Now people don't have to wonder why I have no hair! :-)

Hope everyone enjoys their weekend. I'm sorry to say that I can feel my taste slipping away. It's not altogether gone, but it's going. Yesterday while the taste "window" was open I stopped at Starbucks before I left for chemo and had a a latte. IT WAS DELICIOUS! And that's all I'll say about that.

xoxo
Joanne (not drinking too much of anything, but I know I have to, so (sigh) I'll find something.

Off to Camp Chemo

2009-03-06T07:16:00.003-05:00

It's hard to believe, but today is my fourth and LAST A/C (round one) chemo treatment! Woo Hoo!
Hopefully it's downhill from here! I will have to wait another two weeks, then I'll begin round two
(Taxol) of my treatment. I'm definitely on the road to recovery! :-)

The last two days have kind of been miraculous...my taste returned! I don't know if it's fleeting (it more than likely is since I'm getting "poisoned" again today) but I enjoyed it immensely while it was here. I didn't rush out and eat myself sick, but the things I ate from my own kitchen sure did taste good! Last night I had dinner with friends, and to confirm to myself that I REALLY could taste, I ordered a cup of coffee. I could taste it! (and promptly drank it and ordered two more refills) I'd like to say that my dinner was something amazing like lobster tails or prime rib, but I ordered a good 'ol cheesburger and fries. It was delicious. Sure would be great if my rekindled tasted buds decide to stick around. If not, there's always my taco bell hot sauce.

TGIF everyone. I'll check back tomorrow with tales from camp chemo.

xoxo
Joanne (drinking TONS of water this morning in preparation for camp chemo)

Amazing friends

2009-03-02T13:40:00.015-05:00

It was a wonderful weekend! Carly was home from Chicago and it was great to have her here, if only for a few days. She ran errands with me and she was only to happy to eat anything that I cooked for her. I sent her home on Sunday with lots of tasty leftovers, more than enough to keep a starving college student going for quite some time. (I did give her instructions however to share with her sister in Chicago as well...she has plenty Jess) Besides visiting her dear old mom, Carly came home to film the March Reading Month assembly at my elementary school for her documentary class project. The theme this year was the brainchild of my dear friends Mary and Jackie Craite. (Mary teaches with me and Jackie is a freshman at Oakland University) The theme, "Read for a Cure" will be highlighted with lots of "pink" reading activities including students turning in their weekly reading minutes on pink paper. In addition to the students reading and donating money, Jackie has also placed donation jugs all around town at local businesses. All money collected will be donated to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. I am truly humbled that my entire elementary school has chosen to honor me in this remarkable way. They mean the world to me. In addition to planning reading month, Mary and Jackie stopped by my house to show me something special that they had made to take to school.
I can only say that I was amazed and astounded by what they brought by. They created a stuffed pink ribbon "person" to go into the library. Students will be able to snuggle up with the ribbon (lol) and read. Since I could never adequately describe this ribbon person, a picture will truly be worth a thousand words. Here it is..

I told you I'd never be able to describe it! :-) And here I am with it...

Yes, it is LARGE! Thanks so much Mary and Jackie! You are both such amazing friends.XOXO

If anyone reading this blog would care to make a donation to help find a cure, they can be sent to:
Riverside Elementary School (checks payable to: Susan G. Komen for the cure)
c/o Mary Craite
5280 Farm Rd.
Waterford, MI 48327

I've been feeling relatively fine since the "fainting episode" last Thursday, and hopefully this week leading up to chemo will be uneventful. I have received some amazing gifts the past week that I'd like to share with all of you. Each and every day I am truly touched by the ongoing outpouring of kindness from friends far and near. On Friday I received this GORGEOUS plant basket from my neighbors across the street, the Peters Family. It has the most beautiful little pink flowering plants. It also came with my own personal angel which I just love. I am blessed to have such wonderful friends right there across the street if I need them. (and Diane is a nurse, so that's a double blessing!)

I'm going to have to find the perfect spot to hang my angel so she can watch over me.

I also had another floral delivery. This one from the Stoddard family at my school. These flowers are so bright and cheery they lifted my spirits the second I saw them. I know you will feel happy as well when you see them. Thanks to the entire Stoddard family, and Alice, I loved the special card and medal, thanks SO very much.

And last but certainly not least, my friend Sheri (hope I spelled it right) stopped by yesterday and she came bearing gifts as well. Look at these amazing slippers that she brought me (which happen to be on my feet right now as I type this!) as well as pink ribbon chocolate lollipops that she made herself! The lollipops were taken to the school she works in and she is selling them to raise money that will be donated in my name to the American Cancer Society. What a wonderfully thoughtful gesture. I hope she SELLS OUT! (Carly said they tasted delicious...sadly my taste buds and chocolate are not on speaking terms right now)

Hope everyone enjoyed the pics today. The weather is cold, but the sun is shining so I think I'll bundle up and take the dogs for a walk. It's good to just get out of the house.

Have a great day. (I'm back to just drinking water, NOTHING tastes good right now)
xoxo
Joanne

Down...but not out

2009-02-26T13:31:00.004-05:00

What would a week be without a small reaction. lol I'm perfectly ok, and this time I'm chuckling while I write this, but this morning I had a small encounter with the snow in my backyard. I took the dogs outside about 8 a.m. to do their morning business. I always hook up Cubby to her line when I let her out (we have no fence) as she has a tendancy to run after anything that moves. I for one, am not chasing a crazed australian shephard through the neighborhood (especially without hair...now that WOULD get some strange looks). I remember standing at the edge of my patio watching Frankie do his buisness (which takes him forever by the way) and all of a sudden a familiar light headed feeling started in my head. I looked over at one of the snow covered patio chairs and thought, "I should sit down." Instead, I reached out to hold onto something until my head cleared and I grabbed the tree trunk on the side of the house. The next thing I knew, I was waking up lying face down in the snow! I had fainted! I couldn't have been down for long though, as my faithful canine companion Frankie was still nearby. I picked myself up, brushed off the snow, and carefully walked back into the house. I climbed upstairs to find Steve (he always seems to be UPstairs when these things happen) and told him what had just occurred. He was very concerned but I assured him that I felt alright and I would just lie down for awhile...which I did. I realized a short time later that I had a gash at the base of my right thumb, which must have happened when my hand slid down the tree as I fell. I can only imagine what this scene must have looked like. Bald woman in red scottie dog pajamas faints dead away in her own backyard into the melting snow only to be totally ignored by her four legged friends. So much for being man's best friend.

It's Tuesday

2009-02-24T09:11:00.003-05:00

And I'm still hanging in there! No news is good news...that's what I have to say today. I went in for my Monday "shot" yesterday, and so far so good. I'm actually feeling pretty good this morning. Could it be that my body is getting used to its toxic intake by now?! Three out of four A/C chemo treatments done, and only one more to go (2 weeks from now). Then I will get switched to a different drug and hopefully that one will go as smoothly as this one. I've been occupying my time quietly at home, and running any errands I need in the late morning to early afternoon. I still get pretty pooped out by late afternoon/ early evening and by the time Steve gets home from work I'm pretty glassy eyed. lol

On the food front, I've been trying to stick to simple foods lately. Fruit, yogurt, eggs have all been working for me. I had some yummy chicken soup dropped off at my house the other day and that was tasty too. I also received a wonderful new cookbook from a friend of my sister in Dallas, "Betty Crocker's Living with Cancer Cookbook." I've been looking it over and there are quite a few recipes that I'd like to try. Thanks so much for the book Nita! :-) Now, if we could just get some of that Dallas weather...we'd be in GREAT shape!

Nothing much else to report on the last few days, isn't THAT good news! Carly will be coming home Thursday night from Chicago. She is working on a documentary film for one of her classes
this semester, and guess who is the topic of the documentary?!! My elementary school has decided to honor me and the theme of their March Reading Month this year is "Read for a Cure."
Carly will be home to attend and film the assembly for her documentary. More about this later in the week though...so stay tuned.

Hope all of you are having a good week, I'm looking forward to the temps here in Michigan rising into the 40's this week. And see what happens when I recommend a movie (Slum Dog Millionaire) it winds up winning LOTS of Academy Awards. lol Hope you all get a chance to see it.

xoxo
Joanne (currently drinking Ruby Red Grapefruit Juice...tart but tasty (to me any way!)

Back to Camp Chemo

2009-02-20T18:00:00.003-05:00

This morning was my third round of chemo. So far so good. Everything went as it should. My blood counts were good and the drugs were administered accordingly. I was lucky to have a wonderful friend, Terry, help me pass the time while "lounging in the chair," and the time really did zoom right by. We chatted, shared pictures, and laughed quite a bit. It seems that whenever I'm at camp, the nurses always seem to come by to tell me that "someone is having way too much fun over here." (Who me?? Imagine that! lol) Well, it sure beats sitting there for THREE HOURS and having a miserable time. Right? Might as well make the best of it, is what I say. (Not to mention getting it over with as soon as possible...only one more A/C chemo treatment left. Then I get switched to a different chemo drug called Taxol which is given once a week for twelve long weeks.)

I really am hoping that the stomach medication I've been taking this past week leading up to chemo day will really do the trick and eliminate that nasty reaction I had last week. Keep your fingers crossed (or any other body parts that you think will work) that it's doing what it's supposed to!

Yesterday afternoon I had a wonderful time at the public library. I met two Riverside families there (it was planned) and I even ran into two other Riverside students while I was there. I had lots of hugs and well wishes, and it was wonderful to see familiar faces. It seems like such a long time since I've been at school, and I really am missing my students and all of the other boys and girls that I'm used to seeing on a daily basis. I'm constantly asked, "When are you coming back?" and yesterday was no exception. I just tell everyone the same thing...I'm doing everything that the doctors and nurses tell me to do so I can get better and come back to school. I'm just not exactly sure when that will be.

We are expecting a snow storm tonight in Michigan, but I'll believe it when I see it. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. If you are in a warm climate, soak up a few rays for me.

xoxo
Joanne (I've been drinking Earl Grey tea the last two days...don't you love changing taste buds!)

Confessions of a tacoaholic

2009-02-18T08:55:00.007-05:00

Everything about this cancer journey is strange and different. However, the strangest thing of all has got to be my ever changing taste buds. From day to day I never know how anything will taste. In desperation I searched the internet for a common food that cancer patients may have some luck in actually tasting good. I came across a post from a woman that said that her mother enjoyed taco bell during her chemo, and in fact, it was the only food that she enjoyed. That was enough for me. It was time to " make a run for the border." I didn't want to get carried away (in case I couldn't taste anything) so I ordered two chicken soft tacos with regular hot sauce and pulled out of the drive-thru. I parked in the lot, unwrapped the taco, and squirted out the sauce. I was doubtful as I took the first bite, but let me tell you that I heard a choir of heavenly angels singing the Hallelujah Chorus! Not only could I taste it, but it tasted good! (OK I realize that "good" may not be a word that you and I would normally associate with Taco Bell...but let's consider the situation here!) I think I inhaled those two tacos in record time. It wasn't so much the taco, but the SAUCE! I think it was the first thing that I could truly taste in weeks. I'm embarrassed to say this, but I licked the rest of the sauce out of the packets. (Yes, I have no shame when it comes to being able to taste) I was so excited at my new taste sensation, that I decided to try and find something similar while I was at the grocery store. (Or else I was going to be making regular visits to pilfer the taco sauce from inside at the counter) To my amazement, I found this at the grocery store! (more angels singing)
To my utter amazement, I have continued to "taste" this sauce. I have used it sparingly, as I don't want to over do it, and have it lose it's taste. It came in quite handy however, last night, when friends from my school, Jenni, and her sons Zach and Logan stopped by with chicken enchiladas and rice for dinner. YUM! (Thanks Rossignol family) I opened that bottle and poured it all over those babies. Let me tell you, it was the BEST dinner I've had in a long time. Here's what's left of it.

I plan on eating the rest slowly the rest of the week to make it last. Now, what else can I pour the
"miracle elixir" on top of? I think I need to buy some stock in Taco Bell.

Have a great day. I'll be here taking sips of Taco Bell sauce. :-)

xoxo
Joanne

Happy President's Day

2009-02-16T09:23:00.008-05:00

Monday morning. Back to work for some (sorry Jess) and day off for others (enjoy the week off my Riverside friends). For me, time to catch up on the blog. Physically, I've been feeling alright, so all is well on that front. I'm now taking yet another pill, as this is the week of chemo (sigh) and hopefully this pill will prevent that nasty little side effect I experienced last Wednesday. Mentally, well, let's just say that most days I'm fine, but once in awhile I do get overwhelmed with everything
and I'm told that this is normal. Considering that it has now been 9 weeks since I received the "news" I'd like to think I'm handling everything to the best of my abilities, but let's face it, we ALL have bad days with or without cancer.

I wanted to share the beautiful flowers that my daughters sent me. They arrived on "wig day" and most certainly brightened up my day. The message on the card said it all. Jess, Carly, and Rach, I love you SO much. Thanks for loving me with or without hair...but if it's alright with the three of you, I'm looking forward to the day that you can love me WITH my hair again. :-)
(They are so beautiful, they deserved a close-up too!)

I also received a t-shirt and hoodie that I had to share with all of you. Both made me laugh out loud and I'm sure you will too. The t-shirt was sent from my wonderful friend, Lisa, in Texas.
She's really my sister's best friend, but if it's ok, I'm going to claim her too. Thanks so much Lisa, I just love the shirt! I'm sure it will get many many comments when I wear it outside of the house. lolAnd if the t-shirt isn't funny enough, look at the hoodie was sister sent me for Valentine's Day. If this doesn't make you laugh, you need an attitude check. Who ever said that cancer doesn't have a humorous side! ;-)

Last, but not least, I wanted to share a good movie tip with all of you. Steve and I watched "Slum
Dog Millionaire" yesterday afternoon. I really had no idea what to expect but I have to tell you that I was pleasantly surprised. I REALLY enjoyed this movie. I'm not one to care about Oscar nominations and I usually have never even heard of the movies that win the awards. I do remember however, this movie getting a lot of nominations, and now I know why. For once there was an interesting story to follow and better yet, a happy ending! I don't like violence in movies, and there were a few times that I closed my eyes but most people aren't as wimpy as me. If you see it, let me know what you think.

Happy President's Day to everyone. Maybe there are some good sales at the mall today!

xoxo
Joanne (drinking Earl Grey tea today)

P.S. I've changed some of the settings on the comment section of the blog. Many told me they were having difficulty leaving comments. Try again to leave a comment and let me know if you are still having trouble. You should be able to comment now, even if you do NOT have a google account.

Return to Wig Day

2009-02-13T08:47:00.009-05:00

I'm ready to back track now. Let's return to Tuesday and the infamous wig day. My dear friends, Deb and Michelle, went along with me for moral support. I was SO glad they were there. After all, it's not every day that a girl loses her hair in under 5 minutes flat! After my shower that morning, it was quite evident that the doctors and nurses did know exactly what they were talking about. ( I was hoping that just maybe they'd be wrong...but no such luck) After the second chemo treatment your hair DEFINITELY falls out. What a weird feeling that was. I can't even really put it into words. All I can say, is one second there is hair on your head, right where it's always been, and the next thing you know, it's lying in your hand in VERY large clumps. It made the decision for wig day very easy. The rest of the hair needed to go. We arrived at "Advanced Hair Solutions" (very fancy name for wig place...but sure does sound better) and I was ready for MY solution! My last visit there had culminated in two finalists, and they were ready and waiting for me to try on. One wig was chin length, the other extended a bit past my shoulders. You can see them over my shoulder next to the mirror. They are even labeled with my name so no one else could claim them as their "solution." I had arrived with my pink bandana tied tightly around my head for fear I would be shedding hair all over Deb's car. As good as a friend as she is, I didn't feel that it would be polite (call me crazy) for her to have to vacum up my hair from her car after she took me home. This is what I looked like when we arrived. Fairly easy to recognize me.

I told Pam, the wonderful stylist that was helping me, that her first job was to get rid of the remaining hair. She had told me on my last visit that she could do this for me and that I would also know "when it was time." She was very kind and turned me away from the mirror so I couldn't watch. I had brought my camera to document everything, and Deb had brought hers as well, so Michelle and Deb snapped pics of the entire process. When it was over, I reached up and truly felt my head for the first time. It was nubby! lol Now I know how my fourth grade boys feel when their parents decide to buzz their hair for the summer. I will now look at their buzzed heads in a completely new light. Michelle and Deb then said the magic words, "You have a beautifully shaped head," and I actually relaxed a little. After all, who knew what would be lurking up there? There could have been bumps, lumps, or anything! If you're ready to see me, I'm ready to show you now. It's ok if you stare, I've been staring at it for three days now, and I'm not really used to it either. Here I am.

See, I even managed a smile. Don't worry, the next pic should hopefully put things back in focus. I tried on the two wigs that I had narrowed it down to, and this might be hard to believe, coming from someone that has had long hair forever, but as soon as I put on the shorter wig, I felt like me again. It was hard to believe that it was fake hair. It looked SO real! Pam showed me how to put it on, and then she made me take if off and do it by myself. Everyone agreed that I looked just like my old self, and in the end, even I had to agree. Here I am with Deb and my brand spankin new hair. The next is Michelle, Deb, and I ready to go out to lunch with my new hair do.

It's been quite a week, and I'm glad that it's over. I'm wearing knit caps around the house to keep my head warm, and I'm going to sympathize now with bald men in cold weather. You can definitely feel a chill up there!

Hope you have a great weekend. (drinking ORANGE (lol) gatorade today)
xoxo
Joanne

Back in the saddle again

2009-02-12T09:29:00.002-05:00

Where to begin with today's blog? I left off two days ago with heading to the wig shop, but sometimes "stuff" happens. I was all set yesterday morning to update with some pics from the wig outing and to let you know how everything went. Unfortunately I had another chemo reaction, and all I can say is thank goodness that it was Steve's day off and he was at home to help. Chemo affects everyone differently and there is no rhyme or reason when it will strike. I became very light headed and broke out in a cold sweat. I was also experiencing some pretty bad stomach cramps to say the least. I realized pretty quickly that I needed "help" and somehow managed to get upstairs to where Steve was still sleeping. I told him to call the doctor right away. The office said to come by immediately. I don't really recall the trip over there, I was pretty out of it. They checked my blood counts, which I'm happy to say were fine, but my blood pressure was very low and I needed fluids. I was also given some other medications to immediately stop the cramps and stomach problems. I was also told to drink, drink, and drink fluids all day, and if there were any other problems later in the day, I'd have to head to the E.R. Steve went out and came back with assorted gatorades and juice for me to drink, which I consumed the rest of the day so there would be no need to head back to the hospital.
There was no way I wanted to go back over there. I took it easy the rest of the day and ate toast and cream of wheat. How yummy does that sound. lol I figured better safe than sorry. I have to admit that the whole thing was a bit scary and made me realize how little control I have over all of this. I'm going to be taking additional meds now the day of chemo and the days following to hopefully avoid this type of reaction again. The one good thing about yesterday...I didn't think once about the fact that I no longer have hair! :-)

I'll come back later this afternoon and tell you all about the wig trip. I'll even share some pics with you...if you can stand it! lol

Have a wonderful day. I'll be here drinking purple gatorade today. yuck.
xoxo
Joanne

Wig shopping day

2009-02-10T08:04:00.003-05:00

Today I'll be getting my wig. I have mixed feelings about this, as you can imagine. I know it's just hair, and it will grow back, but it's official now. After my second chemo treatment this past Friday, my hair is slowly but surely falling out. Just as they told me it would. Couple that with the fact that the last two days I've felt extremely tired, and my taste buds have gone hay-wire, I haven't been a very happy camper. There is a constant and unusual taste in my mouth that is hard to describe, and even though I know how something should taste, it tastes nothing like that when I put it into my mouth. Even water tastes strange. I've tried some of the suggestions I've read about as well as some that the nurses have told me about to try and negate this weird taste in my mouth, but nothing really works that great. I just have to hope that it will come and go, and hopefully go soon.
I'll check back in later with news from the wig trip today, I'm sure there will be a good story to tell.

xoxo
Joanne

A.M. update before I leave to get my wig. It seems that "everything does happen for a reason."
This morning my head must have just known where it was going. After my shower, my hair decided that it was time to depart, in a BIG way. I was left with huge handfuls of hair everywhere, and yes, I did shed the proverbial tears. I knew this day was coming, but I can honestly say that I don't think anyone is really prepared for it, including me. After all, I've had good hair days and bad hair days for many years now, but at least I've had hair. So, before I get fitted for my wig, there will just one more small detail to take care of...the rest of my hair will get shaved off. It will surely beat watching it slowly shed day after day. I'll be ok, after all, the hair I'll be leaving the shop with is going to be a drastic improvement on what I've got left now.

You can't keep a baker out of the kitchen

2009-02-08T06:48:00.004-05:00

The trouble with reading cookbooks, is that you want to immediately run into the kitchen and whip up everything that you've just read about. Now that would be humanly impossible (but I would be willing to give it the old college try) so I have to try things that I know Steve and I might eat. But that turns out to be tricky too. He doesn't like nuts, I do. He doesn't like fruit or berries, and I do. I can't even turn old bananas into bread or muffins because he doesn't like them either. What's a baker to do? I decided to make a cake just for him that I knew he would like (and wouldn't be horrible for me to choke down a few pieces either!) I found a recipe for his favorite cake, Boston Cream Pie. (yes, it's a cake and not a pie). It is yellow layers, filled with vanilla custard, and topped with chocolate. What's not to love here! I found the recipe in a book I checked out from the library, "All Butter Fresh Cream Sugar-Packed Baking Book." With a title like that, how could I go wrong. The cake was delicious, Steve loved it, and it is slowly disappearing in the frig. No, the two of us have not eaten the entire thing ourselves, Carly has helped to eat a few slices too. I thought you'd like to see a picture of it in it's four layer goodness.

On another baking front. Before Carly came home for the weekend, she called and asked "if I wasn't too busy...." LOL I do seem to have a fair amount of time of my hands these days, so I asked her what she wanted. It seems a friend of hers was getting married and of course, she wanted to make some wedding cookies for him and his bride. Could I please bake the cookies for her before she came home, and she would decorate them on Saturday. Who am I to turn down making cookies! Of course I told her that I would. We tag teamed on the cookies. I made the dough, cut them out, and baked them. She put on the base coat of icing, and I finished up with the decorating. We were both happy with the results, and she delivered them to the reception hall yesterday to the groom. Best of luck to the happy couple! Here is the finished product.

Enjoy your Sunday. I'll be here dreaming up my next baking creation. If you like nuts, fruit, or berries, let me know, then I'll have someone to share with.

xoxo
Joanne

I'm home!

2009-02-06T10:58:00.015-05:00

Today's round went smoothly. It took longer this time due to the fact that I had to have my blood drawn and analyzed before they could administer the drugs. My counts were good, so they hooked me up. I thought you would interested to see what it is exactly that is being pumped into my body, so I had Steve take a pic of it all. The red syringes (Yes, there are three and they are BIG) is adriamycin which the nurse has to push slowly into my IV herself. The bag is cytoxan (see how closely the spelling resembles toxic!) and that is dripped slowly by IV.

I do have to tell you that today we entertained the entire chemo room. (You know me, never a dull moment, even in chemo) I had taken the huge stack of get well cards sent from my elementary school to help me pass the time, and we read and shared them out loud. All of the nurses stopped by to read some, and even the woman sitting next to me was laughing. The cards were WONDERFUL. Thank you so much to the teachers at Riverside Elementary and all of the students that took the time to send me get well wishes. Those cards were the best medicine I could have received.

Another "fun" thing that happened today (it's not all bad there) was my nurse, Lisa, decided I needed some bubbles. You know, the wand kind. While I was hooked up, she blew bubbles my way and it sure did put a smile on MY face. I thought you'd also like to see that as bad as chemo sounds, the nurses are fabulous, and they go out of their way to make you feel good. I also saw another patient today bringing the nurses baked goods....UH OH....you know what that means...
I now have a REASON to bake! (We all know that I don't really need a reason, but it sounds good anyway) If you look closely, you can see my trying to pop the bubbles.

I thought I'd also post a pic of Carly hanging out with me. I took one of Steve too, but he told me to delete it...so no Steve. See how happy she is to do nothing with me for three hours! :-) Steve was happy too, I just can't show you happy he was! Rach, look closely at the table next to me and you can see the bear that you sent me. All the nurses got a chuckle from him. :-)

And last but not least, it really is a GREAT day because Carly brought me a present, all the way from Chicago. (B...try not to be too jealous) Some of you might remember my BREAST WEEKEND EVER in Chicago which took place the weekend right before my surgery - that never happened. Well, one of the yummiest things we ate that weekend (and we ate A LOT) were cupcakes from Molly's Bakery. I have been talking about these cupcakes non stop since I had them. Suffice it to say that they are amazing, and Carly brought a box home for me! Here they are in all there chocolaty goodness. Clockwise from top left they are: red velvet w/cream cheese icing, chocolate decadence (choc inside and outside), chocolate turtle w/caramel filling, pumpkin spice w/cream cheese icing, and boston cream pie. Okay, you can stop drooling on the keyboard now. I plan to share them with Carly and Steve, but if I get up again at four in the morning, all bets are off!

xoxo
Joanne (drinking lots of water today to wash the drugs through my system)

Hold the press...last minute addition to today's blog! The mail arrived shortly after I finished and there was another package from school. Inside I found this beautiful ORANGE scarf. I ADORE IT! My dear friend, and fellow fourth grade teacher, Marcia, said that she misses my "Orange-ness" Yes, this IS a made up word, but I know exactly what she's talking about. Several years ago we had a guest speaker come to a staff meeting and we all took personality tests that put us into color groups based on our personality. The color groups are blue, green, gold, and orange. It will not surprise anyone that I was the only orange in the entire school. lol
Let's just say that orange people are "outside the box thinkers." Being orange has gotten me into trouble sometimes (Bill, I'm still really sorry about cutting the electrical wires in my light fixture causing all the lights to go out) but mostly I have fun thinking differently than everyone else.
Hence, Marcia missing my orange-ness, and her sending me an orange scarf. You could say that it is my signature color. (much better than pink) I'm even including a pic of my orange crocs that I slipped on to wear with my new scarf. Enjoy and think orange.

Round Two!

2009-02-06T09:17:00.000-05:00

My bag is packed. I have reading material, my ipod (thanks again Rach), get well cards from my elementary school, my pink blanket, my cancer sucks bear, and of course a water bottle. I'm ready for my second visit to camp chemo this morning. Hopefully all will go as smoothly as the first time. Steve and Carly are going with me to keep me company. (Carly drove home from Chicago last night) I'll check back later today to let you know how things went. Hope everyone has a great day.

xoxo
Joanne (I actually drank a cup of tea this morning, and it didn't taste too bad!)

A special welcome to Rickey and Eve :-) I'm SO happy to have you following my journey! xoxo

Thanks Thanks and More Thanks!

2009-02-03T11:45:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry it's taken me this long to say thank you to the many many friends and family that have been sending me gifts and cards. If you know me, then you already know that I'm a computer idiot...plain and simple. At school, I rely on Suzie Crawford (care to make a home visit Suz?) to get me through the world of computers. I've been known to barge into her room at a moment's notice because I can't even get my computer attendance to print out! And without Carly at home either to "do it for me," I've been trying to figure out how to do everything myself, and it just takes me awhile. (awhile could mean days in my case) So, I've got the pics loaded, re-sized, and ready to go. Are you impressed yet? (OK, I did have to put in one long distance call to Carly in Chicago and she helped via the phone! Thanks Carly!) I'm going to try and add in my two cents along with each pic, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to swing that. Let's see what happens...

Riverside Racer Plant

This came from my school family. Thanks Racers!The plant is sitting in my family room where it reminds me of all of you every day. It is a privilege to work with each and every one of you, and I can't wait until I'm back at school. I'm sure things are quiet there without any "orange incidents"
but don't worry because...I'll be back! :-)

Tulip Bulbs

This lovely basket was a gift from my dear friend Nancy that retired at the end of last school year. She is currently spending her free time in Florida soaking up the warm rays with her husband Bill. Nancy, the bulbs just bloomed YESTERDAY!! Aren't they beautiful! Thanks so much for sending a little bit of Spring my way!

Cancer Sucks! (why yes, it does!)

This arrived last week from my lovely daughter Rachel. She is busy at Butler University being a conscientious freshman who is studying hard to become a teacher (like her dear old mom), and is spending countless hours as a Kappa Kappa Gamma pledge. Yet, she found time to send me this adorable bear that echoes my sentiments exactly! Thanks Rach...I love you lots and lots! Now, go study! :-)

Just Get Me Through This

The same day that the bear arrived, I also received this fabulous book from my dear friend Tracy in Virginia. Even though we have never met in person (which WILL happen one day Tracy) I consider her a very special friend. She always seems to know just the right thing to do or say. I had checked this book out of the library, and liked it so much that I was going to buy my own copy. No need now! I love the book Tracy, thanks so much for sending it my way. I thought the book and bear were perfect together, so here they are.

Flower Bouquet

Talk about Spring time! This gorgeous bouquet arrived from our friends in Philly, Randy and Irv. Steve and I went back to Philly last summer for their wedding, and had a blast! I only wish that we lived closer to each other so that we could spend more time together. I'm hoping that you will be coming our way this coming summer for that baseball game, and we can hang out, laugh, and have some more fun. Thanks so much for the flowers, they are just beautiful.

Moisture Therapy Gifts

The first gift came from one of my students, Emma, and her family. I was SHOCKED when Steve came home from work the other night with this beautifully wrapped box in his arms. He handed it to me and said, "This is for you." I opened it up, read the lovely card from Emma's mom, Shannon, and saw all of the "goodies" inside. I was VERY excited! For those that don't know, chemo REALLY dries out your skin, and it was such a thoughtful gift. THANK YOU Wikle family!
Your thoughtfulness touched me, and the body butter makes my hands and arms less
"alligator like" (which is DEFINITELY a good thing!) Emma, thanks for the card, and I PROMISE, I'll be back, and things will go back to the way "they used to be."

I also received a tube of Japenese cherry blossom body cream from my friend and fellow teacher at school, Jan A. Thanks Jan...I love it, and it smells DELICIOUS! I put the tube into my purse, and it goes with me everywhere. You never know when a bad case of alligator skin will strike, and now I'm prepared! :-)

PINK bracelet

I had mentioned in a previous post that I met with some school friends last Friday after my check-up. Becky was one the friends at our little gathering. I worked for many years with Becky at Riverside, and lucky for her, she is now retired. She told me that now that she is retired, she has time to "string beads!" lol I just love the bracelet Becky, and I'll be thinking of you whenever I wear it!

What cancer CANNOT do

Apparently, the word is out. "Take it to Steve (at work) and he will deliver it!" lol Steve came home from work last night with another box to deliver to me, and this time it was from another Riverside family, the Stoddard's. I was privileged to have Sean in my class last year, and Nathan is right next door in fourth this year! The card from their mom, Alice, was so touching, and in it she said that everyone always tells you the things that cancer can do, but this is a reminder of all the things that it CAN'T DO. It reads: What cancer cannot do... It cannot...invade the soul, suppress memories, kill friendship, destroy peace, conquer the spirit, shatter hope, cripple love,
corrode faith, steal eternal life, silence courage. Thanks SO much Stoddard family. I plan to carry this with me everywhere I go and to remember each and every day that I am still ME!

Cards Cards and more Cards!

I have enjoyed each and every card that you have sent to me. Thank you for thinking of me and taking the time to send them. I keep all of them in my family room up on the fireplace mantel, but gathered them up for a close-up. I've even put some of them into the front and back cover of the notebook they gave me at the oncologist's office, which goes back and forth to chemo with me. So you can see, all of YOU are never far from my thoughts either. I do have to tell you that yesterday was a banner day for cards. I received THREE HUGE manila envelopes in the mail, and it looks like the students at Riverside have been busy making get well cards for a certain teacher :-) To say that I was overwhelmed is an understatement. I will write a seperate blog on the student cards, but suffice it to say that I LOVED THEM!

I have now spent hours working on today's blog, and even had to S.O.S. Carly in between classes to help. (We will not mention how many S.O.S. calls were made, but she was able to help long distance every single time. Hugs and Kisses to Carly!)

Thanks always seems like such an inadequate word, but for now, it's all I can say. So thank you for everything you've done for me. Sending thoughtful cards and gifts, keeping me in your thoughts and prayers, reading my blog, and sending emails for those that can't seem to figure out how to leave a comment. (I would be ONE of those people myself. lol) I am truly blessed to have all of you.

Lots of Love (today I'm drinking iced tea in case anyone wanted to know)
Joanne

p.s. I'm apolgizing now for any spelling or grammatical errors. Yes, I know, I'm a teacher, but I'm too exhausted to go back and proofread the whole thing. I'm just amazed that I got everything posted where it should be. Let's be happy for small miracles!

p.s.s. Thanks to my husband Steve for my brand new (non throw away) camera. Without it, I'd never have been able to post these great pics. XOXO

Drug free and full of Apple Juice

2009-02-02T15:13:00.000-05:00

Today is my first official day of being alone. Mom is back in New Jersey now and Steve is off at work, so it's just me and my two perpetual four legged shadows. (So I guess in reality, I'm not really alone!) The sun is shining and it's a balmy 40 degrees in Michigan, almost makes me want to break out the short sleeved t shirts! This is my drug free week, and I'm excited. No meds to take (unless I feel side effects coming on) and no doctor visits. :-) Gee, I feel kind of normal! I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.

I've finally found a beverage to drink that tastes "normal" to me...apple juice! I've already finished an entire bottle of "Simply Apple" and it was...simply deeelicious!I drank so much however, that I was having visions of the famous Willy Wonka line (OK, I am kind of obsessed with the old version of this movie, so I can relate anything to it)"Violet, you're turning violet!" Only in my head, I was turning into a giant apple! So, I'll wait a day or two before buying some more. Back to the water. sigh.

I'm working on the pics to post for all of my many thank yous. They should be ready by tomorrow to post. (sorry, I'm a computer idiot and it takes me three times as long as a normal person to do anything)I have been baking a little, and sent Steve off to work this morning with chocolate chip cookies. Today I made some carrot cake muffins which are cooling, so I haven't tried them yet. Believe it or not, I'm really not eating what I bake, I just like reading new recipes and then trying them out. I picked up a few new cookbooks from the library today, so I'm sure there will more baking to come this week.

I want to say a special HELLO to Linday P. who I saw is now following my blog! :-)
Linday, I can't believe you are 14 now! It seems like only yesterday that you were sitting in my third grade classroom! You are a beautiful young lady! Please give my best to your Mom and to Michael.

Have a great day, I'll be here drinking my apple juice! :-)

xoxo
Joanne

Odds and Ends

2009-01-31T04:46:00.000-05:00

The last few days have gone by and so far so good. Yesterday I had my first check-up at the oncologist's office. It has been one week since my first chemo treatment, and they need to make sure that everything is going well. My blood counts are ok and fall within the normal range, with the exception of my white blood count, which is low. Suzanne, my nurse, said that was to be expected, and the shot I had this past Monday would be "working" this week to build me back up. All in all I told her that my side effects were manageable, but she did prescribe some other drugs that might help me. I'm a regular medicine cabinet these days. I better not make a quick decision to head to Windsor...the drug sniffing dogs will get overly excited when they near by purse.

After the doctor, I met up with some school friends at Starbucks. :-) It was WONDERFUL to see them all...Terry, Becky, Michelle, Deb, Mary, and Jackie (creator of the fabulous breast cancer blanket). We chatted, laughed and THEY drank coffee.
Yes, you heard me right, I had NO coffee. For those that don't know me... I LOVE COFFEE! (Bill, if you're reading this, you'll have to drink that morning cup for both of us now) Sadly, one of the side effects that chemo produces is a change of tastes for almost anything, and right now the taste of coffee in my mouth is just not working for me. I have tried on several occasions, and keep telling myself that this time, the coffee will taste good. NOT! I can't believe that I'm going to be giving up coffee for MONTHS! I don't know which is worse, having cancer, or not drinking coffee!!! At this point, I'd have to say it's the lack of caffeine!! lol

Mom is heading home to New Jersey today. It's been nice having her here, but I'm sure she's anxious to get home. She has made Steve and I some delicious dinners, our favorite was the unstuffed cabbage and potato pancakes. YUM and thanks Mom! She is also heading back to New Jersey with some baked goodies for her freezer.(hmmm, on second thought, they might not ever make it to the freezer) I made her chocolate whoopie pies (half with maraschino cherry filling!) and chocolate chip cookies. Hopefully she can keep the whoopie pies away from my sister Paula at home. (Paula, you may eat one or two if you ask this time!)

I also briefly wanted to say a huge thanks to everyone that has sent me gifts and cards. I actually look forward to getting the mail every day! I've already planned the next blog entry, it will be devoted to all of you and I'm going to share everything I've received...so more to come on that.

Have a great weekend, enjoy the Superbowl, food, and commercials. I'll be here NOT drinking my coffee. :-(

xoxo
Joanne

P.S. to Janet...I'm holding you to that burger and beer at our favorite place! :-)

4:31 A.M.

2009-01-28T07:57:00.000-05:00

Yes, I was up and staring at the clock at this exact time. I would toss, turn, and think about whether I should actually "get up." It seems that a good night's sleep has been hard to come by (even with sleeping pills given freely by the doc!) If you think about it logically though, I go to "bed" about 8:00,(yes, living the the wild life here!) and if I'm lucky enough to fall asleep within the hour, by four a.m. I've pretty much had a full night's sleep. So I've been waking up at odd hours, and trying hard to fall back asleep. Last night I let laziness take control, and I didn't get up. Luckily I fell back asleep and woke up to Cubby (dog, not husband lol) pleading to go out around 7:15. One more night out the way!

I've been feeling generally ok. The shot on Monday to rebuild white blood cells is now coursing through my body, and I just continue to have the overall feeling of being run over by a bus. I had a small "reaction" yesterday morning after I ate breakfast. I broke out in a cold sweat and was very light headed. I just sat quietly until it passed. If anything had "happened," I had my trusty bodyguards, Cubby and Frankie, waiting anxiously at my feet to jump into action. lol They are my constant shadows. I have no idea how they will ever adjust when I go back to work someday!

Mom has been company for me and has been busy cooking dinners. Our big "outing" yesterday was to Walmart and the library. Can you stand the excitement. After that we had lunch at Panera's which she LOVED. (insert "mmmmm" sound effects here to get her full pleasure) She is tolerating the dogs (I say that in the loosest terms as she is NOT a dog person) and I even saw her slip them some pieces of ham. The funniest though is seeing Cubby (50 lb. Aussie) trying to sit in her lap, and Frankie (8 lb. maltese/pom) perching behind her on the couch smelling her head. LOLOL I'll have to snap a pic of them and post it...it will be a keeper.

I've also come to realize that there is absolutely NOTHING on tv during the daytime. I heard the same news and weather stories twenty times each. What exactly is it, that people at home all day actually do?? I'll be thinking this over as I have a lot of downtime in my future.

Hope everyone has a great Wednesday. I'll be here drinking my water!

xoxo
Joanne

All quiet on the Sunday front

2009-01-25T13:46:00.001-05:00

Jessica and Carly have headed back to Chicago, and my sis, Melissa, is on her way back home to Dallas, and MUCH warmer weather! I know she will be overjoyed to shed her newly purchased down coat, and the assorted gloves, scarves, and hats we loaned her to wear while she was here. She just doesn't remember what it's like to live in the cold. She's been a southern gal for too long now, and her blood thins when the temps dip below 70 degrees!lol While my husband Steve, drops my sis off at the airport, he will wait and pick up the next visitor...my mother! Now this should be an "interesting" week. I'll have to keep you all posted on the "mother visit."

Yesterday, the four of us trooped off to the specialty shop that will assist me with my
"scalp prosthesis." A.K.A. the WIG! lol According to the insurance prescription however, it is called a prosthesis. They can call it whatever the heck they want, but I have to tell you that those wigs looked REAL!! I was truly impressed. I tried on quite a few styles, including a long blonde one, just for kicks! Don't worry,I'm definitely NOT going blonde! I have it narrowed down to three. One is just past my chin, the second is just past the shoulders, and the last is a bit longer. I will go back in about a week and a half to try them on again, and make my final selection. Pam was the woman helping me through the process, and she was great. We all laughed when she told us there were good things and bad things associated with a synthetic wig (which is what I'm getting). Good points: only needs to be washed after 12 weeks, keeps its style permanently, is always ready to go and looks good. Bad points: really only one...DO NOT WEAR NEAR HEAT!! Melting will occur if I open the oven or dishwasher! So, Carly's advice was: DO NOT WIG AND BAKE! lolol Another good point I just thought of, NO "extra protein" in baked goods! (stray hairs for those that don't bake!)

I really haven't had any terrible side effects to date. OK..I felt like crap Friday afternoon after the first chemo round. I couldn't eat, felt spaced out, and was REALLY tired. But I woke up Saturday feeling ok, just had a general run down feeling.
I'm taking extra pills at home that combat the nausea, and they seem to be working well. After the outing to the wig store, Jess and I dropped Carly and my sis off at Best Buy so she could buy a new phone, and there just "happened" to be a Michael's
store across the street. So off Jess and I went. BIG MISTAKE. Letting a baking fiend loose in Michael's is never a good idea. To all my baking friends at CC...Wilton has now come out with a new book all about making FUN brownies! Yes fans, even brownies are now FUN! So, with a bag full of goodies, an hour later we left the store. I am now equipped to make some amazing brownie treats. Watch out world! :-) I'll be sure to post pics!

Tomorrow I must return to the oncologist's office at 9:00 am. I will be receiving my "booster shot" which will start to rebuild the white blood cells in my body that the chemo is currently killing! As soon as this shot builds them back up, I'll be ready for the new annihilation of the same cells the week after at the next chemo treatment. Gotta love the system! I'm going to leave you today on a happy note and post the pic of me, my sis, and my three beautiful daughters, Jessica, Carly and Rachel from our "BREAST WEEKEND EVER" in Chicago last weekend. We had a blast, and it was such a special time, I'll never forget it!
xoxo
Joanne

Camp Chemo

2009-01-23T20:04:00.000-05:00

Mom drinking her 2 liters of water for the day

Carly and Aunt B (Joanne's sister) here... we are filling in for the patient. Well the first round of chemo went smoothly... one down, only fifteen more to go! Mom knew everyone would be checking the blog and wanted to keep you all updated but is feeling a little "under the weather" right now. She doesn't feel sick and she's handling everything really well, she's just a little tired and "spacey" from all the medication. Me, Aunt B and Jess all got to sit with her while they were administering the chemo. We kept her busy and her mind off things. All the nurses were very nice and helpful, they even gave us free swag!!! We got really cool pink breast cancer bracelets, pencils, pins and magnets for our cars. Mom made sure to get enough pins if anyone else would like one. We got a laugh out of her when we made her try on the silly pink hat in the second picture. They have a pretty nice set up at the chemo place... we felt like we were on a first class flight! Mom got to sit in a comfy recliner, there was a TV with internet and movies, and the nice nurse Lisa even came around with a basket of cookies and crackers. We asked for a mango margarita, but only had a chemo cocktail to offer us LoL. Jackie Craite was quite the celebrity today... everyone just LOVED the awesome pink blanket she made for mom (which she is wearing in the picture.) She got tons of comments on how CUTE it was, they all just loved it. So thank you Craite family!!! Tomorrow we are going to a wig salon that specializes in helping chemo patients cope with hair loss. We will make sure to take pictures and post them on here. Well that's it for now, please keep the comments coming, they really lift her spirits and keep her smiling.

Mom in the silly pink hat texting Rachel.

2 hours and counting....

2009-01-23T08:36:00.000-05:00

I actually had a pretty good night's sleep considering I was going to have my first chemo cocktail to look forward to in the morning. I had to wake up early (5:30 am) to go to the bathroom since my sister was a water nazi yesterday. I thought I'd be able to just "float" to chemo today with all of the water I took in yesterday. I was advised, and have been reading, that in order for chemo to go the smoothest, (ok...smooth chemo...that's an oxymoron if I ever heard one!) I need to take in a MINIMUM of two liters of water daily. Since I'm usually like a camel, and take only the briefest of drinks during the day, I thought my kidneys were going to explode yesterday from the massive water amounts I was drinking. (Not to mention the amount of time it took running to the bathroom every second of the day!) Luckily I fell back asleep and woke up again around 8:00, and AFTER my first cup of coffee, I'm drinking water yet again. I'll try to drink two bottles before I leave. My appointment is scheduled for 11:00 this morning. Carly, Jess, and my sis, Melissa, will be going with me to keep me entertained. (HA) Carly has some "pirated" movies on her laptop (we are NOT going to ask her how she already has Madagascar 2, and Slumdog Millionaire downloaded! She apparently has "her ways!") I'll take some reading material, and my "new to me" Ipod (thanks for your castoff Rach!) which Carly has ALSO downloaded music and books onto. (Now you all know why I don't need to be tech savy...why bother when Carly can do it for me! Too bad she has to go back to college this weekend.) I was also told to bring lunch with me, since I'll be there for three to four hours. Now, normally I'm not one to skip my lunch (or dinner, or dessert for that matter) but I'm thinking I just might not have my "normal appetite" as I'm being hooked up to drugs for four hours! Call me crazy, but it doesn't sound like it will cause one to work up an appetite! I'll let you know how that pans out.

That's it for now. I'll come back later today and let you know how everything goes. YES, I'm nervous and scared, but it's more from the unknown. Once I've actually gone through it, at least I'll know what to expect the next time (and we know there will be many next times). So, off I go into the "wild blue yonder," and I'm going to hang on tight because I know it's going to be a bumpy ride.
xoxoo
Joanne